I have always been the same way as far as becoming very attached toy animals. But you might be surprised how another cat or two would help you heal. No only that but you could save lives by taking some in even if you don't think they're ready you may find they open your heart. Can you imagine living out your life without the love of a cat or two in it? I know the answer for me is no. The pain is horrendous but the love is worth so much more. I was hand-raising an orphaned kitten before we lost Cassie and the kitten was two weeks old when we had to put Cassie down(I got the kitten at a day or less old when the mother and litter were hit by a lawnmower.) It was hard to keep going with the kitten through my tears and my mother(who taught me how to care for bottle babies) gave me a day or two off, but inside I knew that kitten needed me. The home that had hit the kitten's family wanted her back but in the end backed out and we kept her. Her name is Luna and she can't replace Cassie in truth she's almost nothing like Cassie. Luna is still q kitten but even by kitten standards she's mischievous. Cassie was sweet and talkative and gentle, but they do have one thing that is very similar Cassie had the strongest purr I've ever heard in a car. She used to sound like a lawnmower she lifted so loud, and before she declined after her diagnosis I allowed her to meet Luna and Luna got to hear her purr. They have a very similar purr. Sometimes it hurts when I hear that purr but its also a comfort that I can hear still a loud purr. Deep down I know that Cassie will always be in my heart and on my mind. I could choose to never have cats again after the five I have now pass on, but I know as I rescued all of them (all five were ferals or semi-feral) that they would want me to help others. That they would want me to show others that love, because without me four of them would certainly have been dead, as I bottle fed them from three weeks, three and a half weeks, and day old.
Please don't misunderstand km not trying to push you into something you dont want but I know for myself that my animals enrich my life a million times a day. I would urge you to go into a shelter and walk out with a feral and a black cat or a cat that has been there for years. Save that life you'll feel great and you might just find that through that cat or cats that God has given you a gift, just like my Luna's purr.
My mother had to put her cat down years ago and unfortunately the vet who was later fired did it all wrong and the cat ended up terrified and screaming before they finally got the needle in. My mother has been scarred and says she will never have a cat of her own again, because she blames herself and thinks Cyndle would her. I of course know it isn't true but my mother hasn't been able to heal one of our cats chose her as her special person but Mom denies the cat because she doesn't think she deserves it.
It's never just a cat. Or a dog. I feel badly for people who think so, but there are so many people who do feel as we do. Open your heart and if you can't open that yet then I hope you'll open your home. I feel you will be surprised when you find that those little feet have crept their way into your heart. They can't take away the pain but they can lessen its sting and your heart's emptiness by filling it with love. They can replace the sad memories of loss with new good memories not all the memories those will stay with you but for me I don't think nearly as often as I used to of the day we had to put Cassie down.
God bless I hope your heart heals and I hope you find it in yourself to walk into a shelter and save a couple of lives maybe a few. They will be so grateful. And I think you will be too.
