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Oh, blargh... People on BYC who know a bit about me know that I teach in an inner city school district. For example, just last Thursday (third day of school), I had to break up a fight between two female students in the hallway. I deal with a lot of the more rotten side of life...drugs, gangs, teen pregnancy, divorce, gang rape, etc. Parents and grandparents come to the school to help their kids fight other kids. We have good parents, too, but the bad often overshadows the good. It frustrates me, and that comes through in my posts. If I taught in a different district, I probably wouldn't frame responses through that lens.
I go to a Public High School, I'm sorry but it's nothing to do with the parents, I've met and known many kids who were involved with things like that, and their parents were great, or were alright, when you're a teenager you should use your brain, and act like an adult. Some kids are just stupid.
Yes, there are also some parents who have kids who've made bad choices on their own, just as you've pointed out. We get all kinds. However, I refuse to excuse the parents who regularly do drugs in their living room or deny that their children are involved in gangs when the police present them with evidence from responsibility.
The point is that the government expects a school NOT ONLY to teach, BUT ALSO to teach despite any particular problems or baggage kids come to school with, however that baggage was formed or where it came from. Educational research says that kids need to have their physical and emotional needs met before they are ready to learn. Where I teach, the vast majority of kids do not have these basic needs met. It is different at every school because of the population of the district.
I don't want to hijack this thread, nor get into heated debates with anyone on this topic. I sympathize with the OP and hope that her family gets the support they need from the school. It's tough being a gifted kid; I've been there myself and I understand.
That's all I'm going to say about that.