Thanks! Those are cool. And good point. That’s exactly it… I want to but also DO NOT AT ALL want to lolDawg, I got these 1 month to the day after my sister passed: I got them done simultaneously on May 26th this year. It is now November, and may the gods have mercy on my soul if I so much as think about eating an apple without slicing it first.See? They are pretty, but they hurt for a long time, which helps when you want to hurt yourself but do not actually want to self-harm.
I go through that want/do not want every. Single. Day. I am suicidal, bipolar, borderline, and I struggle with ptsd. Every day I have to stop myself from doing something that will ultimately end my life. It is hard, but I have learned to mentally take that voice in my head by the hair, shake it, and punch it in the face while screaming profanities at it. Picture that voice as a Karen, and choke that
until she is blue in the face. 
It’s awful, isn’t it? I actually have exactly the same things, all of those, plus OCD and anxiety. It’s so damn hard and no one understands. They try but it’s constantly oh why would you want to do that etc. and it’s like I don’t WANT to…. Idk. It’s hard to explain. And it’s especially hard cause I’ve also SH’d off and on since high school so like 12 years. So that doesn’t just go away overnight. I mean, I’m working on it especially the last year and a half but still. Shit got way worse for me after my mom died April 2021 and then March 2022 was my first ever hospitalization. I’ve been in A LOT since then. 6 times.I go through that want/do not want every. Single. Day. I am suicidal, bipolar, borderline, and I struggle with ptsd. Every day I have to stop myself from doing something that will ultimately end my life. It is hard, but I have learned to mentally take that voice in my head by the hair, shake it, and punch it in the face while screaming profanities at it. Picture that voice as a Karen, and choke that
it’s hard as fudge. But I’m in therapy and a partial program and everything now. I’ve done partials before but this one is way better. And my therapist is great. I started seeing her and my psychiatrist maybe like 6 months ago. But I was seeing someone else before that. They weren’t good. But yeah. I’m rambling now so I’ll shut up. I just want to say that it’s crazy hard.
Yeah, but they're not trying to redeem themselves or go to heaven. They're perfectly content living where they've lived their entire life after they died as a humanMake it Taoist. I am a Taoist. Gods can become demonised, and Demons can cultivate and earn a spot in Heaven.
I, too, have OCD and anxiety, but they do not seem to contribute to my...urges...as much as the others do. It is hard. I agree with that 100%! I stopped seeing my therapist, I stopped going to hospitals. My bipolar acts up like there is no tomorrow whenever I go anywhere near such places. Social Security requires me to see a state-appointment therapist every so often, and I go in trying my best to be a decent human, but within minutes I am the Devil incarnate.It’s awful, isn’t it? I actually have exactly the same things, all of those, plus OCD and anxiety. It’s so damn hard and no one understands. They try but it’s constantly oh why would you want to do that etc. and it’s like I don’t WANT to…. Idk. It’s hard to explain. And it’s especially hard cause I’ve also SH’d off and on since high school so like 12 years. So that doesn’t just go away overnight. I mean, I’m working on it especially the last year and a half but still. Shit got way worse for me after my mom died April 2021 and then March 2022 was my first ever hospitalization. I’ve been in A LOT since then. 6 times.
Oh! Well, then screw the sensitive people. Your story is YOURS. Every story is meant to convey the author's innermost thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. If you want the story to take place in Heaven/Hell, then you go for it. I will read it. I do not get butt-hurt about such things.
Okay, thanks.Oh! Well, then screw the sensitive people. Your story is YOURS. Every story is meant to convey the author's innermost thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. If you want the story to take place in Heaven/Hell, then you go for it. I will read it. I do not get butt-hurt about such things.
That’s a lot of multitasking! LolI, too, have OCD and anxiety, but they do not seem to contribute to my...urges...as much as the others do. It is hard. I agree with that 100%! I stopped seeing my therapist, I stopped going to hospitals. My bipolar acts up like there is no tomorrow whenever I go anywhere near such places. Social Security requires me to see a state-appointment therapist every so often, and I go in trying my best to be a decent human, but within minutes I am the Devil incarnate.
I have found that meditation helps me quite a bit to relax my mind, but it takes years of practice to make it work for you. I find that, when my moods kick in suddenly, that it is best to convert them to anger. I cannot control my depression once it takes hold, but after more than 24 years, I have finally managed to be able to control my moods to a point. When I feel depression kicking in, I can quickly summon my anger, and I can keep my anger under some form of control so long as I can escape the situation quickly; otherwise, it quickly becomes uncontrollable. So in short, learn to convert it, and know that you need to remove yourself from the situation ASAP.
Sorry if this was a ramble. I am trying to reply, while watching a kitten just out of surgery try to escape his flower-shaped cone, and my sister is showing me different things on her phone. That is far too much multi-tasking for my poor brain.
