Chicken Farts

[onclewillie]

58 years ago the local newspaper of Arcadia, California, the Arcadia Tribune, ran some ads for various local businesses. One of these ads offered Chicken Farts on sale at a small grocery store. Obviously an error. It was supposed to be chicken parts but it managed to create quite a stir before the papers in the local news stands were pulled to re-issue with the correction. I do wish I still had my copy. I wondered how many people came to the store and tried to order a couple of pounds of chicken farts.

 

[Villainess]

Oh my....I laughed so hard when I read this this that I nearly farted! This whole thread has got to be the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. And I really needed this after the last week I’ve had.

But it’s kind of funny....I honestly wondered the same thing myself, but was too embarrassed to ask.

I was out in the chicken’s run about a month ago with my husband, trying to clean up and check the birds over. I had leaned over the ramp so I could peer in to their coop to see if I had missed any of the girls in the nesting boxes. Well, I didn’t realize there was one directly inside the coop, maybe an inch or so to the right of the door opening. It startled me, and I made a noise—not a scream, but maybe more of a grunt? It scared this Australorp, whose backside, of course, was faced in my direction as she was waiting on “her” box to be freed up.

At that exact moment I made this grunting noise, I must have scared her too because she gave a jolt, and then milliseconds later there was this pfffttt noise. RIGHT. IN. MY. FACE. What do I do? I proceed to jerk up, not even considering that my head is inside the pop door and I crack the backside of my head and neck.

I couldn’t tell you if the chicken’s fart stunk. I couldn’t tell you if there was a puff of air blown into my face as it occurred. It all happened in mere seconds. But I can tell you that I scared several of the other girls in their nesting boxes, and I can tell you that to my husband I must have appeared to be spazzing out; me bedecked in my shortie jean shorts and my knee-high kitty cat rain boots, holding the back of my head, kind of jumping and jerking around while cussing. He asked me what happened. I couldn’t tell him. How do you tell your husband that a chicken farted in your face when you weren’t certain that chickens could even fart? I said nothing, that a chicken scared me.

So thank you. Thank you for affirming that chickens can and do fart, that it was not just me losing my mind. And thank you for the good, much needed laugh

 

[Chickassan]

I haven't heard turkey butts!
Need to change that asap

My turkey used to fart all the time....but he had an enormous ass so maybe it was just easier to hear...

 

[Chickassan]

You don't ever tell husbands.a chicken farted in your face.
Official story is always something bit you.
No idea what it was, too fast to see but it totally bit you.
You know, if you poke your noggin in the pop door very often at all maybe some eye protection might be.a good idea.
You know so your eyeballs don't get nibbled on.

Oh my....I laughed so hard when I read this this that I nearly farted! This whole thread has got to be the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. And I really needed this after the last week I’ve had.

But it’s kind of funny....I honestly wondered the same thing myself, but was too embarrassed to ask.

I was out in the chicken’s run about a month ago with my husband, trying to clean up and check the birds over. I had leaned over the ramp so I could peer in to their coop to see if I had missed any of the girls in the nesting boxes. Well, I didn’t realize there was one directly inside the coop, maybe an inch or so to the right of the door opening. It startled me, and I made a noise—not a scream, but maybe more of a grunt? It scared this Australorp, whose backside, of course, was faced in my direction as she was waiting on “her” box to be freed up.

At that exact moment I made this grunting noise, I must have scared her too because she gave a jolt, and then milliseconds later there was this pfffttt noise. RIGHT. IN. MY. FACE. What do I do? I proceed to jerk up, not even considering that my head is inside the pop door and I crack the backside of my head and neck.

I couldn’t tell you if the chicken’s fart stunk. I couldn’t tell you if there was a puff of air blown into my face as it occurred. It all happened in mere seconds. But I can tell you that I scared several of the other girls in their nesting boxes, and I can tell you that to my husband I must have appeared to be spazzing out; me bedecked in my shortie jean shorts and my knee-high kitty cat rain boots, holding the back of my head, kind of jumping and jerking around while cussing. He asked me what happened. I couldn’t tell him. How do you tell your husband that a chicken farted in your face when you weren’t certain that chickens could even fart? I said nothing, that a chicken scared me.

So thank you. Thank you for affirming that chickens can and do fart, that it was not just me losing my mind. And thank you for the good, much needed laugh

 

[TheConfederate]

I needed this laugh!!

 

[HennyPenny2019]

Hi there.

They also burp.

Most people just aren't holding them or close enough to notice when it happens.

Now I'm just guessing here.. but was it a pawhoo sound or did it clap?

 

[HennyPenny2019]

Tonight when I locked up the crew I tried the armpit fart thing again. Once I started to get a reaction, though, I quit because I didn't want to get them going again.

 

[HennyPenny2019]

Got to love this thread.
I discovered they fart a long time ago but it took a couple more years before I heard one give a flat out belch.
I would need some slow motion film to prove this but I think they pick their noses too.

... I’m afraid to keep reading

 

[BlueHenDel]

I've heard some of my girls toot. Took me by surprise. Sometimes when I'm doing the roost head count at night I'll do something different to see if I get a reaction. If I let one rip they start making comments that sound like, "Oh my!", "Did you hear that?", "Well I never!", "Hope it doesn't stink.", etc. Once when it was hot and I had my shirt off, I cupped my hand under my armpit and started cranking my arm to get repeated fart sounds (something I did as a kid). The whole place went absolutely wild; they were all standing up hollering in a clamor with me dancing around and laughing out loud. It was really funny.

Hahahahaha! D.E.A.D here from laughing!

Tonight when I go out to put my girls to bed I'm gonna be spittin' bilabial fricatives all up in the coop to see what they do.
Hope they respond with madcap abandon!!

 

[BlueHenDel]

@Chickassan


I LOVE your signature quote! LOL!! Too true ...