Well, you do have to find what you think you can do. If that seems to be what you researched and found to be most practical for you then that's what you should do.I don't doubt that you care for them very much. I don't think having the capacity to dismember them makes you love them any less. It's just not the way my body/brain works. All I want to do is hold them and pet them and love them. I can't inflict bodily harm on them. It goes against my wiring. Putting them to sleep is the best I can do. I hope the ether thing isn't too awful. I'm such a bleeding heart I'm almost tempted to try to buy pure ether so they don't have to die with that horrible chemical smell all around them.
I do hope you go many many years without having to let one go.
I only brought this all up because the subject can be very distressing when someone is dealing with an emergency. Often right in the middle of an ER thread an OP suddenly realizes they have no idea to what to do or how to do it.
Since you are making lists, researching and getting prepared for your babies, it's a good time to have a plan in place.