Childfree

[Raiquee]

This subject can go on and on. If you feel that you aren't fit for raising a child, good for you for realizing this and not reproducing!! It is kinda offensive what you are saying, but I do kinda understand the way you are thinking. You will never know until you have kids of your own. It's that simple. Just don't think it's offensive when I don't want to hear about your "fur-babies" doing this and that.

Honestly people that humanize animals, creep me out. A lot of people who don't have children, do this.

I don't like other peoples kids either. In fact, I can't stand them touching me, talking to me, nothing. I don't do playdates. My son goes, but I can't do that Mom talk stuff either. I can talk to another Mom about our kids for awhile, but in reality...let's talk about something else too. I am wiping butts, blowing noses, making bottles, doing the potty dance, and listening to seasame street most of the time. When I am with adults I try to talk about other things than my kids. (As much as I love them)

I couldn't imagine my life without my kids, and somedays I just want to give them away (and I do, to the sitter!) but they really add so much more love to my life that I didn't have before. It is amazing to have someone look up to you as you are the best person in the world. You can do no wrong, you are their super hero. I love being a super hero

ETA: The biggest thing I wanted to say was me and my best friend became a LOT closer when I had my first son. I had a rough delivery and was sick for awhile and so was she. She brought me all the things I loved in the hospital, sat next to my bed for hours when my hubby wasn't there, came to the house to visit and let me catch a nap. She was invaluable to me. Same with my second son. She helped me potty train my first son (DH works LOOONG hours), and they call her "Auntie", which melts her heart. She plans on having 4 kids of her own, but is childfree right now. I also plan on being there as she was for me, holding her hand, letting her catch a nap, taking her kids for a day. It brought us to a "sister" sort of level. And she did this without even having kids. She doesn't have to like my kids, but she does because she loves me, and they are my family and in turn, hers as well.

 

[Gallusfarm]

At 38, I'm at a weird age to be childless. Becasue everyone really starts nosing in your business - they expect you to have pregnancy news any day. Don't gain a few pounds or the rumor mill will go crazy!

Truth is, DH and I do not want kids at this point. I am very tired of hearing why don't you do IVF or why don't you adopt? Ummm, these things are not for everyone. I guess it's just hard for people to think about filling your life with interesting things if you are childfree. I felt kind of like I didn't have a purpose for a while - but there's a lot you can do to contribute and leave a legacy without kids. It definitely took an adjustment, though.

It is hard when everyone you know has kids and you do not. It does make conversation complicated, at times. I'm glad I found this thread.

 

[ChikeeMomma]

I have two DDs and couldn't imagine life without them. If you asked me when I was 20 if I was going to have kids, I'd say no. I didn't love babies or young children. I thought they were kinda gross. I was married at 22 and had my first baby at 23 -- on purpose! How things change for some! And I wanted to have another and did. I'd still have one more baby! I smooched and love on my kids like there's no tomorrow.

I still don't love everybody else's children. I don't appreciate the unruly or rude children. And at times, even the best child can be a bit unruly. So if it's a two year old throwing a fit in the store -- I completely understand! If it's an eight year old that's a whole other ball game! And I only love on some babies -- weird, I know! I absolutely adore some of my friends' kids and other friends' kids not so much (but I am still nice). Alot of it comes down to parenting.

 

[punk-a-doodle]

Cool, it's interesting to hear other people's reasons for having kids or not. It's always so neat to see what choices people make in life, and why. For me, even as a kid I liked adults and the elderly usually more that I liked other kids. Babies have always repulsed me it seems. I can't think of any experience that caused this, it just feels like a natural part of who I am. While there are some individual kids I can stand, people don't start getting interesting to me until about 13 or so. Haha, the age most people start hating kids is when I start being able to be around them. Interestingly, I've never been an "aw, cute little fluffy baby" person about young animals either. I usually get adult animals. My husband and I are planning on fostering kids when we have land to share with them. He isn't icked out by babies like I am, he just doesn't really care one way or the other. He likes kids beginning at a younger age though, but we both have loved working with teens. Even if we did suddenly decide MUST HAVE BABY though, we won't. We are both too concerned with population growth and what that means. I'm also concerned about the lack of thought put into passing on negative health (mental and physical) in our culture, and I find the way our culture treats kids to be somewhat creepy and false. If I lived in a small community culture that actually relied on children to sustain themselves, I bet I would have kids though. All that said, I don't go around wagging my finger at others. I still feel joy when my friend's have babies and find happiness in that. I actually think not forming my identity on children has helped me become a more compassionate person. Unlike some, I don't have any sort of notion that people become less worthy, unclean, and impure as they age. I don't need pictures of crying children or puppies to get me to feel sadness or empathy. I may not like kids, but I help them when they fall. I just also reach out for the alcoholic or the 90 year old with cancer. For some, it's ALL about the children, and if an adult has an issue, it's their fault so they can just hush up about it.

People who nose into my life and tell me I'll die alone, empty, selfish, and angry if I don't pump out a kid or two remind me of the very same who tell me that will happen if I don't subscribe to their particular brand of religion. They start to sound so desperate, I wonder who it is they are trying to convince? People who demand that it will "be different with your own kids" also give me a tilt to my head. I am self aware and aware of others enough to know that no one path will ever be right for everyone. I hope they too learn this. I have deep respect for those who raise their kids with compassion and honesty. I have deep respect for those who know that kids aren't right for them. Power to the people. XD

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

I have children.

I don't recommend it.

It irritates the pajamas out of me when people try to insist that life is empty without children.

I admire people who don't want kids, and admit it, and don't reproduce - voluntarily.

People act like kids are the best part of our society, but our society doesn't really support either kids or people with kids........

Then we treat people who don't have kids like freaks. Weird.

 

[EmtheFishLady]

Before I had kids, I had a great life. I felt just as fulfilled and happy as I am now. Frankly, it's two different lives, neither of which are any less fulfilling than the other. I traveled, partied and never had to worry about buying something breakable. My house was always meticulous. Now, I wipe noses, I chase a almost 2 year old, and I don't own any glass drink ware. You can tell just by coming into our home we have a child, because we have a toy box in every room. No matter how many people weigh in on it, each lifestyle is just as fulfilling. Just as having kids doesn't make me any less interesting, not having kids doesn't make anyone else less fulfilled than I.

 

[Nimby Chickens]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

I have children.

I don't recommend it.

It irritates the pajamas out of me when people try to insist that life is empty without children.

I admire people who don't want kids, and admit it, and don't reproduce - voluntarily.

People act like kids are the best part of our society, but our society doesn't really support either kids or people with kids........

Then we treat people who don't have kids like freaks. Weird.

Thank you! I do feel like a freak for not liking kids. People get so personal about it. It's not like I want to beat up your kids - I just don't want to hang out with them. Babies in particular have always outright disgusted me. I don't mean any offense but I do NOT think newborns are cute especially. The best way I can describe them is... horrifying. Purple, loud, slobbery, and poopy, and proud parents want to put it in my lap!

There are a million reasons not to have kids - responsible stewardship of the earth, overpopulation of humans, and I like having my freedom. I also just plain do not like little kids. I do tolerate them well and try my very best to be amusing to kids at family reunions, but they really just make me uncomfortable.

If I hear 'oh, you'll change your mind!' or 'it's different when they're your own!' one more time...​

 

[ChicksterJo]

My boyfriend's sister does not want kids. She recently got married but I have no clue if she told her husband. Anyway, now her mother is asking, "Why won't she have kids?! She'll change her mind..." But who knows?

I have always been the type of person to like my animals more than most people I've met...I'm sorry to admit it, but I'd rather have the former's company. It seems I can better communicate with them?
When my younger brother was little I hated having to do the work involving taking care of a much younger sibling (he's almost ten years younger than me). Changing diapers, giving baths, picking up toys ALL THE TIME. The house was always messy and there was always crying. Babies and kids seem to like me, but I'm with the OP on this..

 

[Gallusfarm]

So, another question I get is why did you get married if you don't want kids, or there's always the oh, you can just get a divorce if things aren't going well, since you don't have kids.

 

[teach1rusl]

My brother and his wife, married about 20 years now - no kids (he's a wonderful brother and uncle). He says he enjoys having his time and money to spend as he likes. My SIL and her DH - no kids - they travel, she has a pilots license, etc. My DH has no kids of his own - just my son. I'm not a nurturer, so I really never thought I'd have a kid. Love my boy to death (although I often times don't like him so much), but after 18 years of raising him, I'm looking forward to being child-free again soon!