Childfree

[booker81]

Quote:
Now that's just harsh. People can suck.

I have to say, I get a LOT of the "when are you having another one". I hate it, because, well, we WANT another one, but we don't want to and can't afford the whole treatment thing (insurance doesn't even cover blood testing). I just tell people we figured out how to make the first one, but seem to have forgotten how to make another one.

Procreation shouldn't be anyone's business but the couple who are either trying to reproduce or trying to not reproduce.

 

[ebwy2]

back when I was infertile (have since had a son, so I guess they were wrong about that one despite being doctors) I used to get people asking when I was going to have kids, demanding to know why I didn't have kids...

now I get "when are you having the next one?" like it's a given that i will. And then they don't know what to say when my reply is "well it would have been August but I miscarried"
either way, it's hurtful to be asked.

the best reply is "my uterus is my business" and if they keep on "sorry, didn't realise I had a 'room to let' sign on my uterus"

my take on those who are childfree through choice is easy - people who don't want children shouldn't have them. It's that simple.

by trying to say that they "must" have children, the implication is that those who can't have them are of less value too.

It's not anywhere near as important, but no-one tells everyone "you MUST have a pet chinchilla!" because that would be stupid. and that's only a 20-year commitment, not a lifetime one like children. And chinchillas are less work too!

other people's reproductive organs aren't my business. so I am supportive if they chose not to use them just as I am if they do use them or can't.

 

[paperdragonfarm]

I have a lot of passionate feelings about some of these subjects. Especially about "over population" and VHMT...oh yes, very strong and not so pertinent feelings. What I do want to remark on is the person who couldn't understand why people got upset because they didn't want children at their wedding. Cultural bias aside, there is also the problem of finding child care for what usually amount to a whole day. I'm not sure what kind of culture you live in or with, but if I were to do that there would suddenly be 20 or so children that needed tending in a small town. Unless some one got creative, that would be difficult. Is it your job to babysit on your big day? Heck no! But this may have been part of it.

 

[debilorrah]

I've said it before:

Hire 2-3 teens, have all the kids dropped off at one house, have games, movies and snacks all arranged ahead of time. After the bride and groom have gone off, take the kids to have some cake. Problem solved.

 

[Jschaaff]

Quote:
x2

 

[QuinnP]

not by choice

 

[punk-a-doodle]

I've always been more for conditional love myself. But, I feel people need to find what makes them happy in life, and feel an overwhelmingly strong bond shows up in different places for different people. Some find it with children, others friends, some animals, others parents, some spouses. For me, that connection is with my husband. Judging from the Sunday comics, that isn't true for many. It doesn't make my life anymore fulfilling than others', or any less. Being honest with yourself and looking at things with awareness brings lasting fulfillment. How wonderful that there are so many ways to find it.