Convincing a friend that her cat is to fat

[Weeg]

Hello everyone, a friend of ours got a cat about a year ago. She lives very close to us and is a good friend of ours. The only thing is that she leaves the food out 24/7, and her cat is fat. Kitty, also know at Kit cat, Kitty cat and other nicknames is an indoor outdoor cat who used to be a stray. She does a great job on rodent control and is very active. She brings shrews and mice to the door step on a regular basis. Rachel, the friend of ours loves her a lot, and tries to do the best for her, but of course she's failed to realize how fat she is.
I would tell her, but she's really sensitive. She gets offended easily which makes it really hard. Once I dumped some of Kitty's food back into the bag and she got mad. I've tried to just ignore it, but it drives me nuts. Kitty has to be twice as heavy as my cats, (who are fed morning and night rather than free fed).
Any suggestions as to how I can let her know without offending her? Honestly it would save on her food cost but I haven't found a way to get to that point in a conversation.
I was really hoping that the vet would say something when she got her spayed, but I guess she didn't? Our cat was slightly over weight when we brought her in, and they mentioned it to us. I just know it would be an easy fix since Kitty is so active, just don't know how to have that conversation with Rachel. Thanks for any suggestions, your thoughts are very helpful.

 

[Chick_Maelle]

Maybe try telling your friend the health consequences for overweight cats? Maybe if you tell her that your doing this because you care about her cat, and use synonyms for fat (like overweight) so that it’s less rude sounding? Idk, hopefully everything works out

 

[Weeg]

Maybe try telling your friend the health consequences for overweight cats? Maybe if you tell her that your doing this because you care about her cat, and use synonyms for fat (like overweight) so that it’s less rude sounding? Idk, hopefully everything works out

Definitely going to add the healthy issues, I just need a concveration starter that wont put her on the defensive. I know that should would make the change if I word it right, I just have to figure out how to do that.
Synonyms are a good idea. Thank you!

 

[Chick_Maelle]

I thought of something else ; if you avoid saying “you” she might be less defensive.

 

[Weeg]

I thought of something else ; if you avoid saying “you” she might be less defensive.

True! I think the word, noticed, may help as well. Rather then making me sound like I'm trying to tell her what to do.
Plus in the beginning she was skinny, so I said that free feeding was a good idea for a bit, and then switching to morning and night would be a good idea. She agreed, but never changed it. I'll have to work on this speech lol!

 

[Chick_Maelle]

True! I think the word, noticed, may help as well. Rather then making me sound like I'm trying to tell her what to do.
Plus in the beginning she was skinny, so I said that free feeding was a good idea for a bit, and then switching to morning and night would be a good idea. She agreed, but never changed it. I'll have to work on this speech lol!

Nice hopefully that helped!!

 

[TheCluckyClucker2]

Did you ever tell her? Also can we see pictures of this cat?

 

[BigBlueHen53]

Well.... I know you mean well, Weeg, and you're truly concerned and caring about your friend's cat, but honestly, there may not be a good way to say anything without jeopardizing your friendship. It's not really your place to say anything, it's the vet's. And maybe they've already had that conversation and your friend isn't willing to change her feeding habits.

Having said all that, if you still want to try, you might go about it something like this:

You: Friend, have you had your cat to the vet lately?
Friend: Not really, why do you ask?
You: I'm just really worried about her. She looks like she's put on an awful lot of weight lately. Maybe you should have her thyroid checked. Or I wonder if she could be diabetic or something.
Friend: (hopefully says something like): Hmm you may be right. I'll get her in to the vet right away.

This way you come across like a concerned auntie/ caring friend, not like a critical judge. That's my suggestion anyway. Good luck!

 

[BigBlueHen53]

@Weeg, how did this conversation go, and how is the cat doing?

 

[Weeg]

@Weeg, how did this conversation go, and how is the cat doing?

Oops! I wrote up my response to a previous comment, but I guess I forgot to post it.
Thank you for tagging me back to this thread.