Coronavirus, Covid 19 Discussion and How It Has Affected Your Daily Life Chat Thread

[CapricornFarm]

Depression sucks. I am on so many meds now. I had a sort of break. George has cancer, after being free of it for 9 months it came back, dr said he had a 50% chance of making it a year, my mother - she was losing her grip with reality. Then she had a massive stroke, ended up in a nursing home where only myself, sons and husband came to see (neither my brother or sister did)...just too much way too much. My husband's mother died about 5 months before we found out he had cancer. We were still dealing with her estate.

I hate all the meds I am on. We call the shrink "my drug dealer", that is all he is for. I have a therapist for both of us. Now, this virus. George is weak, still getting chemo, I can't get help (we live on 10 acres) because of the virus. Can't see therapist, can't hug my kids....again too much.

But - each day I take my drugs and move on. It is hard as hell. I was told I had been prob depressed since about 4-5 years old. My mother was very abusive, still verbally until she had her stroke and didn't know anyone. I was her target, not my sister or brother. Now she is dead. My family is now my husband, kids and grandkids. And George's sister and niece.

I have my cats, dog, bees and now chickens. Missouri wet clay - so hopefully I can get a garden in.

I have been researching meditation. Some seems too weird, Louise Hay books make me cry too much. I found 2 books that have helped me. "The Body Keeps Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk,MD and this one sounds trite, "Real Happiness, the power of meditation" by Sharon Salzberg. It isn't a sitting in a lotus position, with windchimes and such type instruction.

If you have never been in that horrible black deep place that seems there is no way out, it is hard to understand how it is your every minute.

Take care.
Martha

Sorry about the lousy hand that has been dealt to you. Try to concentrate on tasks, and play music. These things help me. My Dad died when we were moving to FL to help my parents. My Mom has dementia. We had to take care of everything. Brother only shows up if he can collect money. My Aunt had dementia for 11 years. No family except me and Mom. I cared for her for 6 months in TN. We looked after Mom for a year. Aunt died, I had to handle that. Then we found our retirement home in VA. I am still struggling with depression. I know how it is.

 

[sdm111]

Anyone have a connection for show quality standard cornish?

 

[CapricornFarm]

good to know!! Maybe I’ll choose another. I haven’t started it yet.

I liked 2012.

 

[CapricornFarm]

T


That was the first breed I ever hatched. My last one is 12 years old

I am hatching them now!

 

[raokshd]

Past few weeks were tough. Hope to see normal days ahead.

 

[CapricornFarm]

Grab a whole bunch of them to snuggle it’ll be like sleeping on a cloud lol

Poopy cloud...

 

[seminolewind]

My depression comes from my medical diagnosis and meds I have to take for it. some days I am perfectly fine and other days I just want to stay in bed all day, but you will not see me stay in bed all day. Maybe 10 years ago I would have, but now I know how to defeat my depression. I do take paxil to help a little bit because some days I have really bad anxiety or depression that I can't do anything about because it's a side effect from the medication I have to take, but I can't get rid of that medication because it's the only thing that's keeping me alive. It's such a catch 22.

My husband has learned how to deal with me. He makes me laugh or gets me out of the house when he knows I'm having a difficult time. He's the best partner ever.

You may want to add a med to that. One for bipolar depression that will work against the good day/bad day . There are some new ones out. They help the up down swings (normal then Depression). I don't have those swings any more

 

[FortCluck]

You may want to add a med to that. One for bipolar depression that will work against the good day/bad day . There are some new ones out. They help the up down swings (normal then Depression). I don't have those swings any more

I'm not adding more meds to what I already have. Paxil is good for now. I take 30 pills a day plus a continuous IV pump medication. I was at 50 pills a day and I want to continue going down.

 

[CapricornFarm]

I think a lot of woman especially are like this.
I've been following these posts about depression and here's a hint from the husbands that don't have depression side.
It is hard to understand and it's hard for you ladies to understand our side just as much.
There's a lot of talk about they don't get it and I hate when they say "fill in the blank" because that doesn't help.
You need to understand men and woman see things different. For the most part men try to look at things logical. We are guided by our brains.
Woman tend to look at things much more emotional. Their hearts guide them so much more then with men.
It's hard for us to see things that are powered with an overwhelming amount of emotions. And its just as hard for you ladies to see things that are powered by such lack of emotions. Its not that we don't care. We're just programed as problem solvers and task masters. We're wired to not let emotions get in the way so we can fulfill a task and do it logically.
Some men take that to far to the extreme and it comes off and maybe is they have a severe lack of emotions. But some woman go to far to the extreme with making everything over emotional.
It comes down to lack of communication. We don't understand because were speaking a different language and get just as frustrated because youre making little sense to us and youre just as frustrated because were not hearing you or understanding.
Then top that off with you trying to hid it or cover it up. Things look fine until it gets overwhelming and you have a crisis.
If youre not open and honest with yourselves and those around you that love you what can you really expect.
If your husband was sick you would be right on it to get him through it and back to his healthy self asap. But what if he didn't tell you what the problem or issues was. Wouldn't it make it kinda hard to heal someone when you don't know the problem? Without knowing the symptoms or what to treat? Wouldn't it cause frustration?
Everyone gets depressed but getting depressed isn't the same as having depression. Men get depressed and then they get past it and go on with life. For most that don't know thats how they see it. They don't understand that depression is a whole different beast then temporarily being depressed about something. When some say things like just get over it or your just being lazy. Its because they don't understand the difference of being depressed and having depression. They don't understand how tight depression holds on.
I think with a little more honesty with yourself and your loved on and a little more focus on communication things get a lot better for both parties.

My husband called me lazy the other day. I was shocked. I was hurt and speechless.

 

[seminolewind]

You are too kind and thanks for the words of encouragement. I would bet a lot of us here have that caretaker mentality and try to protect others from things that are uncomfortable. For years no one knew anything was wrong because I hid it so well....come to think of it that's kind of how chickens are too right? By the time you can tell something is wrong it's really bad!

Hiding it??? For years I was the master of hiding it!