Coronavirus, Covid 19 Discussion and How It Has Affected Your Daily Life Chat Thread

[MROO]

I haven't been in this thread for a long time and I don't know what the etiquette of jumping back in is, but if this kid is still under 18 there should be child welfare authorities who could jump in.

If he's close to 18 and there's some safe alternative place for him to live -- like those paternal grandparents -- he could apply to be emancipated.

Been that route. PA does NOT have an emancipation program. The only way he could do it is if he can prove that he can hold down a job and pay his bills. Mom has not allowed either - no jobs last long enough without her ending them and he has not been allowed to get a drivers license. I sent the suicide text to both child protective services and the state police - Mom convinced both that I was over-reacting and he was just angry with them for grounding from his minibike. HE got told off by the police over it! The Kid also lied to his Mother about the text (before I sent it, I'd just told her about it) by saying that MY DD was the one who was talking about it, not him - and that his personal reference to it was from a long time ago.

If you have reason to believe he's in danger from them or from himself provide that information to the proper authorities. And if you know how to contact the paternal grandparents, maybe they'd be allies on their grandson's behalf.

I did. Through both my job with the public school system and my volunteer training (15 years as a BSA leader, 9 with GSA and 5 with 4H) I am a Mandatory Reporter - that means that I am required - BY LAW - as well as by my conscience - to report any suspected child abuse and/or neglect under penalty of fines and serious jail time. Even without the mandate, I would have reported this mess.

Paternal grandparents are not an option. She has a medical marijuana card and the Kid's Mom has convinced the authorities that she "shares" with children. She does not - it's a control and revenge issue. Grandfather is a recovering alcoholic who "Mom" has convinced the same authorities is still drinking. How she knows this when she doesn't have any contact with them is beyond comprehension - but she's a very convincing liar.

The grandparents are a resource, though, because they have access to the lawyer who handled the death benefits and trust set-up.

 

[cheepteach]

he's lucky you are well aware of how to deal or not be able to deal with this. Unfortunately, the ball is is his court

 

[IamRainey]

OK. Stepping out since you seem equipped to handle things.

Best of luck to you and that unfortunate kid!

 

[cheepteach]

best of everything for you MROO

 

[MROO]

Thanks, everybody, for letting me vent. I'll try to keep it out of the mainstream, here. I just got all caught up in explaining why I disappeared. This isolation is really getting to me. I'm a very social person - always out and about with my fingers in a lot of different pots. Being stuck here at home, mulling over issues I can't do much about is driving me CRAZY! For me, having too much time to think is NEVER a good thing. I need to be DOING something.
I need a hobby. @ChocolateMouse has the fight idea with the pottery wheel. I think it might be time to dig out the sculpey and my miniature stuff. I've been meaning to do that again for a long time. No time like the present, I guess ...
I'm sitting here fingering a tiny dollhouse doll - a 2" Heidi Ott baby - and wondering how hard it would be to create a full layette for it ... and how much I might be able to sell it for ...

Not my hand or pic, but a good one of the same doll. I LOVE miniatures!

 

[BullChick]

Been that route. PA does NOT have an emancipation program. The only way he could do it is if he can prove that he can hold down a job and pay his bills. Mom has not allowed either - no jobs last long enough without her ending them and he has not been allowed to get a drivers license. I sent the suicide text to both child protective services and the state police - Mom convinced both that I was over-reacting and he was just angry with them for grounding from his minibike. HE got told off by the police over it! The Kid also lied to his Mother about the text (before I sent it, I'd just told her about it) by saying that MY DD was the one who was talking about it, not him - and that his personal reference to it was from a long time ago.



I did. Through both my job with the public school system and my volunteer training (15 years as a BSA leader, 9 with GSA and 5 with 4H) I am a Mandatory Reporter - that means that I am required - BY LAW - as well as by my conscience - to report any suspected child abuse and/or neglect under penalty of fines and serious jail time. Even without the mandate, I would have reported this mess.

Paternal grandparents are not an option. She has a medical marijuana card and the Kid's Mom has convinced the authorities that she "shares" with children. She does not - it's a control and revenge issue. Grandfather is a recovering alcoholic who "Mom" has convinced the same authorities is still drinking. How she knows this when she doesn't have any contact with them is beyond comprehension - but she's a very convincing liar.

The grandparents are a resource, though, because they have access to the lawyer who handled the death benefits and trust set-up.

I hope that situation works out soon. I wish I didn’t understand what you are dealing with.

 

[FortCluck]

Vacation was a big flop... I honestly think vacationing during Covid was the worse idea ever. Tensions were high and the end of it wasn’t so good. My beagle also got sick and was throwing up blood so the bill when we got back gone was pretty high.

I just want to stay home... we plan on buying a camper for next year so we can bring our dogs next time.

 

[MROO]

Vacation was a big flop... I honestly think vacationing during Covid was the worse idea ever. Tensions were high and the end of it wasn’t so good. My beagle also got sick and was throwing up blood so the bill when we got back gone was pretty high.

I just want to stay home... we plan on buying a camper for next year so we can bring our dogs next time.

I'm so sorry things didn't go as planned! Vacations are supposed to get us away from stress, not add to it!

We're looking into the same thing (a camper) for the same reason ... the dogs. The issue I have is Crazy Dog. If she does to a camper window what she does to my wood-framed glass ones at home, I'm gonna need a tank ... not a camper. We're making serious progress with the squirt gun, but for now, she's a looooong way from camper-ready!

How's your pup, now? Better, I hope?

 

[ChocolateMouse]

Please. Pray for Josh.

MROO, I'm not in the same place as your kid but I went through a relatable list of BS from my own family. I have some serious history there I won't lay on you right now.
The best possible thing you can do for this kid is be on his side and do everything you can to make sure you're there for him. And if he reaches out to you, do your best to find professional consistent help while trying to respect boundaries and give him time to process. And most importantly, listen to what he says and believe him - not because you don't like the parents but because he said he lived through it.
I can't even BEGIN to tell you how valuable even one person in/around my family being there and being supportive towards me would have been. If he comes around, it matters a lot that you're there to listen and support. i really hope he does for you.
Also, with regards to suicidal thoughts... It's important you don't just out people for the reasons you've experienced... It requires so much time and processing to get through that... When suicide prevention hotlines get calls they're rarely responding with "Get help don't do it go tell the cops/whatever". They instead just sit on the line and talk to someone. They don't try to talk them out of it - they just listen and talk to them. They do everything to believe them and make them feel cared for or slightly normal. The reality is hard - if someone is going to try to kill themselves the only way to stop it is to have someone physically stop them which can be traumatizing in and of itself and create fear of speaking out or reaching out for help. So professionals know that the best possible way to get someone away from that metaphorical ledge is to make a space where it's safe for them to talk about it and feel heard. Make sure you exercise caution around it, and just make sure he knows he can come to you if he needs without being traumatized all over again. Chances are good that mom would punish him massively for being depressed given that he's not allowed to even grieve. And yes, it can effect his career. It's so hard when you feel like so much is riding on you being well and you can't.

I have WAY too much direct experience with this stuff unfortunately... I hope it ends up working out for everyone in your family in the long run.

 

[lovesfarms]

Been that route. PA does NOT have an emancipation program. The only way he could do it is if he can prove that he can hold down a job and pay his bills. Mom has not allowed either - no jobs last long enough without her ending them and he has not been allowed to get a drivers license. I sent the suicide text to both child protective services and the state police - Mom convinced both that I was over-reacting and he was just angry with them for grounding from his minibike. HE got told off by the police over it! The Kid also lied to his Mother about the text (before I sent it, I'd just told her about it) by saying that MY DD was the one who was talking about it, not him - and that his personal reference to it was from a long time ago.



I did. Through both my job with the public school system and my volunteer training (15 years as a BSA leader, 9 with GSA and 5 with 4H) I am a Mandatory Reporter - that means that I am required - BY LAW - as well as by my conscience - to report any suspected child abuse and/or neglect under penalty of fines and serious jail time. Even without the mandate, I would have reported this mess.

Paternal grandparents are not an option. She has a medical marijuana card and the Kid's Mom has convinced the authorities that she "shares" with children. She does not - it's a control and revenge issue. Grandfather is a recovering alcoholic who "Mom" has convinced the same authorities is still drinking. How she knows this when she doesn't have any contact with them is beyond comprehension - but she's a very convincing liar.

The grandparents are a resource, though, because they have access to the lawyer who handled the death benefits and trust set-up.

There also is no easy way to get somebody mental help here in Pa-the crisis center only helps if someone threatens to kill you or hurt you and if you have a loved one needing help you want to do it before it reaches that point! And all this turbulence in the past half year is pushing those with mental health needs to the edge. The person ends up hurting someone before they step in and then you are Tangled up with the law