Daughter broke up with boyfriend and I'm the one depressed!

[blbnker]

Connie, it's almost worse than death since there is nothing you can do when a loved one dies but grieve and move on. I was not this depressed when my dad died and I loved him so much. With this I can't give up the last little bit of hope that I have that they will work it out. Because of that I can't move on .

 

[connie1966]

I hear you nobody gets it just take it day by day

Shes probably fine take care of yourself and if u need to talk im here!

 

[connie1966]

Yes i agree theres no closure

What id give to hear his voice see his smile and hug him again

 

[blbnker]

Sparrow, So similar. 2 weeks ago they were all cuddly and lovey dovey and made plans to go to Disney. It is so hard to comprehend and such a shock. I may be crazy but I worry the kids these days go so fast. There isn't a lot of "dating" and getting to know each other slowly. I hope this isn't a pattern or I will go crazy.
I am learning that this problem I am having is not all just about losing my future daughter in law. I only have one child, although I wanted more but couldn't get pregnant again. I have 3 brothers and no sisters. I never knew what it was like to have a daughter and do the special things girls do together. I was perfectly happy before she came into my life because I guess you don't miss something you never had.
My son just can't understand this and thinks the answer is just keep busy, don't contact her, and stop talking about it to everyone. But the problem is deeper than just that and I am truly in a depressed and anxious state. I have never felt like this in my life and am glad I started therapy. I feel such a great loss and hopelessness. I can't eat, sleep or concentrate on much. I just saw a package that came for her yesterday that had been on the table is gone and immediately got a panic attack. I assume my son took it when he went to work but what does that mean? I am afraid to ask him because he wants me to butt out.
I am a definite control freak and that is another reason I am having a problem because I want to control it and I can't.
Long story short I have to keep reminding myself that I have to start taking care of me first because as Connie has said they will move on. I stayed home from work today and am trying to just relax. I had to call my niece twice for talk support which regardless of what my son says helps me.
I don't know about everyone else but a really good cry also makes me feel better.

 

[blbnker]

I just miss her and her little dog so much! Sometimes I think I hear them downstairs. I feel like the joy, happiness and energy has been zapped from my house. My husband and son would be so hurt to hear me say that. They just don't understand. They think I prefer her over them but it was just different with her here. I love her so much!

 

[Sparrow12]

Hi,
You're right about a very good cry. I do find it helps. My daughter is pretty upset but I see she is doing healthy things for herself and making plans to keep herself busy. I am going to follow her example. I agree with you that kid's move far to fast and that has lead to some disasters in the past. I took encouragement from another "chicken" who said his son and daughter and now with even better partners.

 

[blbnker]

Having a really bad day! I can't seem to stop thinking about her and missing her. Mornings seem so bad. I want so much to reach out to her but it would betray my son. My husband just doesn't get it and is getting frustrated which makes me sadder and more anxious. It helps writing on this blog just to be able to express my grief without judgement. Thanks!

 

[connie1966]

Yes just write here as much as you keep trying to make people understand they really dont so dont bother trust me on this! Two years later and yesterday i was watching videos if him on my ipod singing playing guitar were talking laughing and i cried afain, and then i sawxa picture on facebook of my sister abd she was at the restaurauntwhere he works i wish i could see that smile again abd hear his voice and get a hug how i miss those hugs! He was my boy abd now were strangers i havent seen him in a little over two years! I asked my sister what do you feel when you see him does it feel like a long lost family member she said she's happy when she sees him and he's happy when he sees her and it's crazy because he never really cared about her but loved me but doesnt want to see me ! Its like a bad dream it's so hard for me to accept this reality

 

[blbnker]

I don't believe he doesn't love you and miss you. I think his anger is just misplaced and he is taking it out on you. Funny, I just asked my son if he would just text his ex and make sure she is ok and he got so mad and told me she is probably doing better than him. I guess it seemed like I cared more about her than him. I can't get him to understand that I care about both of them. We are a fractured family right now but are going to counseling. Have you thought about therapy? I had never been before and was really apprehensive but it does help. I am also trying meditation ( never would have thought). There is a free app called calm on iPhone if you are interested.

 

[blbnker]

How is everyone? Mornings seem to be the worst for me. I wake up and think something just isn't right and then I remember. I can't seem to give up the hope that they will get back together. Maybe if I could it would be easier to move on. It has been 2 weeks so I guess that is not a lot of time but I am dreading the holidays! Even Halloween