Daughter doesnt want to spend time at grandmothers house.

[texasgal]

My kids have gone to their grandma's (my ex MIL) out of state for a good part of summer since they were 5 years old. I have my issues with MIL, but didn't want to take that away from them and honestly appreciate the break.

The last couple of years the oldest and grandma haven't seen eye to eye. Last summer she came home emotionally upset and withdrawn and stated she wouldn't go back. (there is more but not important) .. I told her she didn't have to (much to the displeasure of grandma and dad)

Younger daughter went for a couple of weeks .. came back VERY clingy and making some statements that she doesn't think she wants to go back.

I won't make them go .. period.

On the flip .. my current MIL IS the devil incarnate .. lol. DH knows this, I know this .. my girls have never even MET her .. and probably never will .. she lives 3 hours away.

I think OP needs to take a good long look at her OWN issues with MIL and make sure SHE isn't standing the the way of the relationship unneccessarily.. but bottom line is .. if the child is strongly resisting and it's not NECESSARY .. I wouldn't make her go.

JOM

 

[LA~Poulet]

While some of the OP's statements do show a strong dislike, that isn't reason to dismiss her concerns. There could be very valid reasons behind that feeling that she hasn't gone into here.

I have a MIL who can be very 'fun'. She also is completely irresponsible & doesn't have a clue about kids (she didn't even raise her own). We tried to foster a relationship b/w her and our kids for awhile, but realized she just doesn't have it in her, and when she does want to do something with our kids (about once a year even though she lives 4 miles away) it isn't age appropriate.

I went against my better judgment trying to put my feelings aside initially... some things she did were things like give a 14 month old baby ibuprofen because he pointed at the bottle so she thought he might have a headache and need it; spanked a 3 y/o with a flyswatter for not being quiet during TV time; and (worst) burnt my 12 month old second son's foot on their four wheeler riding him when he started to slip off. That was the last straw-he had to revert from walking to crawling for weeks while the blister on the bottom of his foot healed. You could say she's the "cool 4-wheeler riding, harmonica playing granny" but the truth is, she is not good with kids. Or safe.

Bottom line-if your child is unhappy/uncomfortable there, and you fear for her safety, do what you know is right. I agree with not letting personal dislike get in the way of a in-law/child relationship, but if that dislike is grounded on reasoning of safety and happiness concerns, I think it is perfectly warranted.