Daughter doesnt want to spend time at grandmothers house.

[BayCityBabe]

You might consider taking your concerns to a neutral party - like a counselor - to get a better understanding of what are your issues with MIL and what are "your issues." You seem to have a real fear that your MIL is going to KILL your kid. That seems to be out of line. My neighbor lets his 6 y.o. and 8 y.o. ride a four wheeler (something I would never do). I can say that an accident might occur, but I would never think that he is gonna kill one one of his kids. You are very anxious about this and it makes me think that you probably have alot of anxiety in general.
Hang in there!

 

[Chickenmaven]

Please do not cut grandma out of your daughter's life. You can supervise and limit things. You can nurture a positive relationship between the two if you can let your "calmer head prevail". Obviously, you don't want to send the kid kayaking with your MIL. Makes sense.

You do not have to get yourself in such a lather that a guitar lesson is some kind of attack. I tell my children that they are not the center of the universe & they can play along with others to be nice. It would not hurt your daughter to show her grandma a little respect. Thirty minutes with a guitar. No problem. This might be something they can share. Heck, when I was 9 or 10, I howled at the injustice that my *evil* grandma made me help with the canning. Those are now some of my dearest memories. I am glad that my mother did not come to my rescue to save me from such awful *child labor*.

Take a deep breath, dear!

 

[LA~Poulet]

I would absolutely NOT force her to go stay with her grandmother. Something about spending the night where you are not comfortable can be really traumatic to a child. Would you want to sleep somewhere you felt unsafe?

If she would be open to it, I would have a discussion with her about how Sarah feels insecure especially because of the forced kayak issue, and perhaps a compromise would be that she could take Sarah on day or hour excursions to do something they choose to do together, with Sarah involved in the decision. (i.e., they have a phone conversation discussing exactly what they will be doing, and stick to it). I think if Sarah feels the way she does your MIL needs to work slowly to build back trust & comfort level so they can both enjoy time together.

 

[consdrs]

I don't want to step on anyone's toes but WOW, I love your MIL. I wish I had your MIL. I think I'm jelouse. the reason my kids didn't want to go to grandma's is because they were bored stiff. I had to drag them there to spend time with them. my folks and my husband's folks were not active grandparents. they would park the kids in front of the TV. they couldn't wait to go home. home to on hands parent involvement. going places, doing things. You are lucky to have such a grandparent and I don't think you see that. there are other issues at play here besides your child's discomfort with, in my opinion, kool activities. you have a grandma who kayaks!! She has activities!!! she is so kool, wanna trade! when your child gets older she is gona think that grandma is so kool and want to go to her house.

I am so going to be that grandma. the one all my grandkids want to go to because she does fun stuff, I can't wait.


Connie

 

[lovemychix]

My MIL would never ask my children to do anything with her. She is too busy with her daughters kids doing stuff.

That favorite thing burns me.

I wouldn't make her go if she doesn't want too.

 

[hikerchick]

Quote:
It doesn't seem like Sarah found the activities so much "fun". Her feelings need to be respected.

 

[Chickenmaven]

Sarah knows that Mommy doesn't like grandma...

 

[Sonoran Silkies]

Quote:
Very balanced post--reflects my thinking.

 

[joebryant]

If my own mother, let alone my mother-in-law, had ever taken my two children to temple (whatever that means) without asking my wife and me first and then had taken them out on a lake, crying, in a dangerous kayak, she'd've been chewed out royally, and she'd never have had the children alone in her care again, grandmother or no.

 

[LA~Poulet]

Quote:
I agree. Kayaking is great fun, but she shouldn't have forced a 7 y/o out when she was scared & crying, not to mention in an ill-fitting life jacket.

I don't agree that she shouldn't be allowed to ride with grandma b/c she drives a small car... just because it isn't as safe as a massive SUV, doesn't mean that it is a death trap.