DD being bullied....

[Rhett&SarahsMom]

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All your DD has to say from now on is, "It's noone's business". or "Yes, I do".

You should have seen me at my daughters friends birthday party today.

I have one kid, we have chickens and a horse, I work!! GASP and enjoy it.
My daughter isnt enrolled in dance, soccer, softball,gymnastics or what ever else.
We dont go to any church. I am a Neo Pagan. My dh is agnostic. But to further mess with people.. we celebrate Christmas, Solstice, Yule and Chanuka, Easter, Passover etc etc etc.

So far we havent had to deal with any religious harassment. But I am sure it will happen eventually. But we have had to deal with some anti Obama taunting from other kids, in her KINDERGARTEN CLASS none the less!



That all said. I think you should talk to the teacher AND the school administrator. General teasing and bullying over clothes and weight is "normal" but in a public school what these kids, and their parents(nice BTW that the parents are helping these kids harass your child!) are doing is something that if the teachers dont stand up and say KNOCK IT OFF is infringing on YOUR childs rights as an American citizen.

On "Odd Girl Out" WONDERFUL book for anyone that has a daughter. I have a copy that I bought for myself, to help deal with left over child hood trauma from being the one picked on. To the point that rocks were thrown at me.

Also, any time ANY ONE tells you that what you believe is wrong. Or tries to "change" your mind, thoughts or beliefs to what THEIRS are. And you tell them "No. It is not what I BELIEVE" and it continues. It IS HARASSMENT.
And being that it is a public school. The school must stand up and stop this from happening. You can sue for this. The ACLU LIVES for this stuff!

 

[HorseFeathers]

My mom always asks if I am having trouble at school because she was badly teased in middle/high school. I tell her I can handle it and make her laugh by telling her various instanced where I have outfoxed would-be "teasers". I was never teased when I was in elementary though so that might have given me an advantage.

I really, really hope you and your daughter find some way to resolve this. Do you want some advice from a kid? If she wants to talk to you, listen and learn, and occasionally give advice. If she doesn't, don't force her or she'll only feel uncomfortable. (At least that's how it is for me and the people I know.) If it happens again, I would DEFINITELY talk to the parents of the bully. Maybe they don't even know what's going on.

I hope you guys will be OK!

 

[HorseFeathers]

Also, what grade is your DD in? It sounds like elementary, but different grades require different handling...

 

[stephys_fluffybutts]

Going to refraise this....

Honestly I think its good to have a talk with the superintendents or board (sorry for the bad spelling) for the school.
And make sure they put a new rule for the teachers to review religion in the class room.

Especially if the school is Public... Public is consisted of many religions.

They do have specific schools for different religions. In my opinion who cares, america is a free country. Although it is harder on the younger people...

 

[debilorrah]

I have WHAT in my yard? :

And I am very depressed about it.

I know that having ideas and beliefs that are not main stream opens me up to discrimination and other social problems, but I was hoping my kids wouldn't suffer until they were older.

Our family is not christian. I am aware that this is a predominantly christian nation and teach my kids accordingly. They know what it is and they know the basic constructs of christianity. But, at christmas one of DDs classmates asked her a direct question and DD apparently told her that she did not believe in god.

Since then, this girl and several of her friends, have repeatedly gathered around DD to tell her that she was wrong and try to convince her that she has to believe as they do. This time they gave her "messages" from their parents which reduced her to tears. This is bullying.

When I told DD she could believe as she wished and could decide to believe as they did - she said that to say that she did when she didn't would be lying and that that didn't seem much like what she understood to be Jesus' teachings.

I am not sure how to handle this since I am afraid it will get worse if I say something to the school.

I only read what you wrote - someone needs to remind those families that Jesus told us all to love one another as we would ourselves... That kind of behavior would never be tolerated in my Christian household. To me, that is appalling. You, and your kids, have the right to believe as you wish, and it SHOULD be accepted by everyone. It is unfortunate that many Christians don't do what we were taught - pray.​

 

[WriterofWords]

Quote:
We can't teach religion, it is against the law. Unless you are a church affiliated private school, you cannot teach religion. We can't pray in class, we are lucky to be able to say the Pledge of Allegiance anymore.
You think parents are upset now if someone of a different religion says something, can you imagine the reaction of 99% of the parents if their child went home and said "Hey mom! The teacher taught us all about religion today!" I can see it now, let's crucify that teacher, how dare she impose other religions on my baby!!!

This situation is not something anyone should be running to a superintendent about. It is getting blown out of proportion and it really needs to be shut down now before it gets ugly.

 

[AngieChick]

I agree that at this point there is no reason to go all the way up to the Superintendant. First go to the teacher, ask her to speak with the Principal as this concerns other parents as well as students and she shouldn't have to be the one mediating. It should go through the teacher first, though, so that it doesn't seem as if you are going over her head. See what happens after that before moving up the chain.

Edited to add that if I ever answered a student any other way than I did ("religion for me is a private matter that I don't discuss"), whoa look out! Teachers have a huge amount of influence over students, that is a responsibility to take seriously. I would never try to influence anyone else's child in that way, talk about disrespectful. I think it's totally reasonable to expect the same out of others where my kids are involved. Parents telling their kids to harrass another student about their beliefs, sheesh, that's ridiculous

.

I'm sure you will be able to get it stopped. Don't skip that chain of command, though. Give the teacher and principal the opportunity to make it right. It might be a good lesson in respect to those parents, and to educate them that what they are teaching their children to do is to harrass another child, however they may feel that it's for that child's own good.

 

[The Chicken Lady]

We can't teach religion in the public schools, but we can teach tolerance.

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

My daughter is 8. And she is a very sensitive child. It is just who she is. She is always the one who takes the lonely child, the one others pick on, under her wing.

The school is public, but there is a strong religious presence here that is VERY vocal and active. I have taught DD to be tolerant of their beliefs and to not disagree with their ideas. And she does. When the teacher told her that it was blasphemous for her to say, "Oh my god." I told her to respect the teacher's beliefs and simply say gosh. We discussed fighting for what was important and what was not worth fighting over.

The sect that is in this neighborhood is of the conviction that they MUST evangelize. A mediated discussion would be the worst thing to do. It would blow up completely.

DD and I discussed this over the weekend several times. I did not offer her advice. I just let her work it out and listened. Many times when a kid tells you what is bothering them they do not want you to fix it.... they simply want to be heard and given the chance to fix it themselves!

By this morning she said she was going to do what we did with other family who felt they needed to "save" us. She will tell them - if they bring it up again - that they are welcome to pray to whomever they wish on her behalf, but that they need to leave her alone about her beliefs. She said if that didn't work then SHE would talk to the school counselor about the bullying.

She really is very sensitive and wise for 8.

I think at some point we might discuss religious tolerance at a PTA meeting, but we are a minority here and we know it. The need to save us is an essential part of their belief system, so I think that working withint the framework of their beliefs is probably best. Meanwhile DDs example of open kindness might teach them that following Jesus' words requires patience and kindness not bullying and intimidation.

After being admonished to read the bible Ghandi said, "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians - they are not much like your Christ."

 

[redhen]

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..thanks!