DD getting divorced, need opinions

[key west chick]

DD and her turd faced hubby are getting a divorce. They got married last September when she found out she was pregnant. The baby is almost 3 months old now. They started having issues in January and things have gone downhill fast. First it was him saying I dont love you anymore, then right after the baby was born he told her to go out and get a job cause he was tired of being the only one that worked. Now he says the baby doesnt even look like him and she must have slept with someone else and they got her pregnant. He basically kicked them out a few days ago. We have an appt with a divorce attorney on Tuesday. So, I have a few questions of my own. The guy is a lowlife bum. Hasnt had a job that lasted more than a few months since they got married. The chances of her getting him to pay any kind of alimony or child support is slim to none. He already has 2 other children he doesnt support. Would she be better off having him sign over his rights, especially since he is now denying the baby? I really think we would be better off not ever having this guy in our lives. He drinks heavily and recently DD caught him doing a line in their bedroom. She is pretty much gonna do what the attorney suggests, at this point, she just wants him out of her life. Anybody have anything to add?

 

[gritsar]

I don't have any answers, but another

for DD and one for you as well

 

[ChooksinChoppers]

Wow...hard decision there...question is..how will she do financially? Some states if the parent applies for food stamps and such they then go after the absent parent for support so I dont know how that would work in this situation. I personally am leaning towards having him sign over rights to the baby, then she is clear of him..doesnt sound like he is going to reform anytime soon. My son's first baby was stuck with a druggie mom and I can see the problems it has caused him..now finally my son has custody. One good parent is all they need and grandma and grandpa too.

Let us know what the lawyer says.

 

[babylotzahenz]

Just sorry your DD has to go through this. If she needs any financial help, I think she must list a father and the court will go after him. If she was married to him at the time of birth (in KY anyway) that guy is officially/legally the father even if it is not his. She will have to make the decision, and it is a hard one. Hugs to you and your family. I would be tempted to divorce him and forget about him if possible.

 

[krcote]

xoxoxox

 

[lockedhearts]

First, she needs to really think about what she wants, does she want him in her life.
Second, I would tell the attorney everything you said here. They know the law and are in front of judges all the time and will have a better perspective as to how to proceed.

She needs to have the baby provided for if at all possible, but then again, that means he still has rights

If I was in that situation, I would get him to sign over his rights and be done. It might be tough but much better in the long run.

I have a friend whos granddaughter has a jerk for a father. This little girl is almost 9 and she has to be in the middle all the time, it is sad.

 

[chickened]

Your lawyer will most likely not sign him off or reccomend that as there is always a chance he will come into some money. If he is truly a bum he won't want visitations but may try to mess with DD. That is a tough one wait to see what the lawyer says.

 

[key west chick]

At this point, we really feel like since he says the baby isnt his anyway, we would all be better off without him. DD agrees. Financially, we are ok without him. His measly little amount he would/could pay is not worth having him involved. She has tons of family support. (my family, not his) She found out today that he has already had another girl come spend the night. He's such a loser...

 

[chickened]

I think then I would cut all contact for the DD and the childs sake. The guy will probably sign away if he thinks he will have to pay something.

 

[Southernbelle]

I have 2 sisters and they each have a child born out of wedlock. I come from a big family of supportive and loving people, so my sisters and their children were always loved and supported to the best of our ability.

Sister #1's boyfriend turned out to be a cheating idiot. She basically told him to choose to be in this childs life or out. He chose out. She gets no financial support, he's never seen the child, never even found out if it was a boy or girl. Legally, it's considered abandonment and his rights were terminated. My sis and her DD have been very happy, life has been simple and uncomplicated. She's a high school math teacher, her DD is 7 and my sis is now engaged to a wonderful man who will be the first and only father the little girl will ever have.

Sister #2's boyfriend turned out to be a controlling, manipulative jerk who offered her money for an abortion as soon as she found out she was pregnant. He never wanted the baby, but his parents wanted their 1st and only grandchild. My parents have spent tens of thousands of dollars on lawyers to determine custody of this child and my sister will always have to co-parent with this difficult, whiny, spoiled, selfish, idiotic mama's boy (and his parents) who has no qualms about stooping to manipulation and buying this child's love. My father is approaching 70 years old and spent his retirement savings on lawyers. He will probably never retire and my whole family is subjected to the weekly drama from this awful family.

After watching both my sister's situations, I would choose to ask your DD's husband to surrender his rights and be done with all the negative influence associated with him. It doesn't sound like he will be a stable influence on the child at this point in her life.