awww Cyn!! believe me i know what you are going thru. you are probably still going thru woulda/shoulda scenarios right now. heck i'm a grown man and i cried for well over a week a few months back when i ran over my favorite cat Miss Cleo in the driveway and i was just going to put her up for the night so she would be safe. i'm talking about i cried all day long. she was probably my favorite pet, EVER, and i killed her. it really sucks when we do more harm than good trying to help, but for all we know that medicine may not have been what killed him. so dont beat yourself too much, b/c you gave him a wonderful life, and he loved you and was grateful for everything you did for him. Stuff like this happens, and i dont know why, i dont understand it, but i do know that its not right, and that theres nothing you or me can do about it. the best advice i can give you is cry till you are too dehyrdrated to cry anymore, let it all out, and in the morning get up, dust yourself off, and collect those eggs! I need me a Hawkeye son to name Murdock to breed my barred rock girls and share some of Conways RareAssorted hens!
I think we can all agree that Hawkeye was a bit of a celebrity around these parts and at this time i'd like to make a motion to make Hawkeye the official mascot of Backyard Chickens!