Devastated!!!

[Glenmar]

Quote:
The OP's husband isn't, Iowa Roo Mom caught her ex with another man.

Oh. Sorry. I got confused with all the posts.

 

[annie3001]

thinking of you. hoping your okay.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
X2..

 

[Elite Silkies]

Quote:
The OP's husband isn't, Iowa Roo Mom caught her ex with another man.

Oh. Sorry. I got confused with all the posts.

No need to be sorry

Sometimes, I have go back and re-read, well mostly all the time as my mind doesn't work as well with age, lol. I'm not sure if I would rather catch my husband with another man or another woman. I'm going to be sick and say another man. I wouldn't set back and compare myself to a man, but I would to another woman.

 

[busybecca]

Quote:
I have to tell you this - be very careful, it is obvious that you love your husband, but I want to tell you the truth that approx. 100% of the time, there has been cheating that he is unwilling to admit to. Please be careful and do not remove yourself from others to support you. Do you your best to reconcile, but keep your eyes open to the truth. I am praying for you both...

 

[mommyofthreewithchicks]

Quote:
I have to tell you this - be very careful, it is obvious that you love your husband, but I want to tell you the truth that approx. 100% of the time, there has been cheating that he is unwilling to admit to. Please be careful and do not remove yourself from others to support you. Do you your best to reconcile, but keep your eyes open to the truth. I am praying for you both...

I just found this thread and had to put my 2 cents. Not sure what has happened but from what Bits are out there sounds like your hubby was at least talking with another female and threatening the marriage with this talk.... I would also be very open eyed at this point. Neither here nor there but marriages can be kept together when the s*** hits the fan but if it is bad please leave. No woman deserves to be abused, no woman deserves to put up with others in their marriage. Keep your friends close as they have your back. And remember there are lots of people who don't even know you who are praying and thinking of you! If you do decide to stay please think of talking to someone (counselor, pastor) as even if he was just talking to another person YOU are his Wife and YOU are the person to talk with about problems, cares and joys in life.

My prayers go out to you, please talk with a friend!!! Don't do anything rash like hurting yourself, he is not worth that You will get through this with or without him!!!

 

[arabianequine]

Thank you guys so much! I am hanging in there. He claims all they did was talk and the reason he hid it is cause I did not like it the first time I went and read their chat session on his fb....I knew about that but he did not read everything to me. She is way out of line and he seems to like it too much. They both said some hurtful things and inappropriate comments in that.

6 days later I find out they had been texting and then talking on the phone who knows about what. She is single and knew I did not like them talking and kept doing it too. Oh then this last Monday a week later.....I seen in his trash email he tried contacting her by email. A few days later he said he tried texting her on her cell phone through yahoo messenger also which I assumed. Supposedly she has not replied to anything and not that I know of.

He still does not grasp how this is wrong and why I won't allow it. I just don't feel right about it and know in my heart there is more to it and it will ruin everything if I let it continue especially now. I guess I should not care then it would not be so hard for everyone. I should let them talk and sit here and hope for the best, that is what I keep hearing anyways. He is upset it all came to this and wishes we could all just be friends but I don't see it that way no more and really I never did to begin with that was part of the problem. I am glad I never excepted her as a friend or that we became close friends with her. I think the worst would of happened and still do if given the chance.....why would I be so stupid to allow another woman in our relationship and really ruin everything?

 

[redhen]

Remeber what i said. YOU are to be FIRST with him... if hes doing somethng thats hurting you, it needs to stop and he needs to respect your feelings,even if he doesnt agree with them.
You should NEVER ever be second... if you say stop talking to that hussy..then that should be it!
If hes not respecting your wishes, then (i know how i am), things would get reeeeal ugly and he be out on his butt...
Heres the thing..the sneaking around behind your back to contact her... yes, that IS cheating. So he HAS cheated on you, and he needs to realize that....
I dont know if i could ever let that go... (but i have issues..

..)

Hang in there..

 

[mommyofthreewithchicks]

Quote:
I agree talking behind my back IS a big deal. You asked him to stop and he did not and even hid what he was doing.... that is a red flag in my book. Trust is a big deal in a relationship and he is breaking it. Talking may have been fine but once he lies about it he knows he has crossed a line. As for her... If she is going after your man shame on her but the vows are with your hubby... It is his job to honor them, his job not to lie to you and his job to figure out the line between talking with a friend and crossing the line in a marriage when talking to an outsider with things he should be talking to his wife about/to.

Sounds like you need to sit his butt down and have a disscussion on trust and how these conversations ARE going to wreck your marriage. And hopefully in this discussion you both can figure out a way to work it out.

I hope he shapes up, but you shouldn't have to put up with this!

 

[Glenmar]

I don't think you would be able to trust him not to talk to her behind you back. Even if he said he was'nt.