DH's good friend and his stupid dog-a vent! Warning...it's long!

[TxChiknRanchers]

Sorry cant give you a womans point of view. But I will say he(the DH) will have more respect for you if you put your foot down. Isn't he concerned about daughters stuff. That would make me throw old bud and his dog out. Ok some men are dense but maybe he just doesnt know how you feel. You seem demure and meek maybe hes just spoiled. I always say you teach people how to treat you.

I will get outa here now. I probably can't help you cause you need a woman to help you with this.

 

[Chickadee28]

We had a similar situation over the summer. I have 2 Boxers,not the brightest bulbs in history but they are well behaved and obedience trained. A friend of ours brought over their huge untrained stupid Great Dane unannounced. I had to lock my cats in the laundry room because it would have killed a cat. We had a nest of baby bunnies in the yard which my dogs had left alone. That beast of a dog jumped through our screen door and proceeded to kill all the baby bunnies in front of my kids. I had grabbed a broom and was hitting the dog trying to get him to stop but it was like I was hitting it with a feather or something. They thought it was funny and gave me some dogs will be dogs excuse, they never offered to pay for our screen door. I was a complete b*tch about it. I told them that that dog was to never come over again and that was it. My husband thought I was over reacting a bit but at that point he wasn't going to cross me. I would just say what you need to say to this guy. If he is coming over and shows up with that dog I would tell him he has to leave it in the car. Option number two would be to put some of that lovely cat poo vomit on DH's pillow. He never has to know that you put it there

 

[Redfeathers]

Hi

Having bird dogs has taught me that you have to have control at all times no matter how well they are trained, they are after all DOGS and it's in their nature to chase, I know there are exceptions of course. I have had to come up with a solution to keep my chickens safe at all times, and even now I realize that that is most likely a pipe dream. I have a pen my chickens are in but I do like to let them free range. The solution is to crate my dogs, lock them in with a lock and keep the key in MY pocket. Another solution is to use easy to move fencing like ex pens or rolled up 4' fencing that I unroll and block off sections of the yard to keep the chickens on one side and the dogs on another, it works like a charm when I have company over and they bring a dog. I have show dogs so almost all of my friends have dogs. The best bet though is to put you DH's friends dog in a kennel and lock it up until he leaves or he can let it out on a leash to go to the bathroom outside but he has to go where there are no chickens. I think this is all going to have to be up to you to control unfortunately. You can do this with diplomacy, and tact by maybe telling the friend that he and the dog are welcomed but there are rules that have to be followed so the peace can be kept and you don't have to stress the whole time, because that's just not fair to you at all.

Good luck!

 

[lacyloo]

get a gun and shoot the dog....
why does the dude still bring his dog after you have repeadivly told him to not omg. i would kill the dog.

 

[Buff Hooligans]

That man was a guest in your home, dined on the food you made, and showed no regard for your posessions or feelings. He is no friend of your family.

 

[wischickenlover]

Wow, Buff, thank you, I think I needed that! It really makes me think...you are 100% right. Guess I just needed to hear the words! It just makes it hard when it's a friend of DH's.....

 

[eggzettera]

You can only control you.

So if I were you......your not gonna like it..... QUIT enabling. Your cooking and watching out over the dog....STOP.

Let the situation go totally out of control. Inform your husband that this is what you are going to do. Give him plenty of warning. I know it sounds harsh but these two are letting you take all the responsibility. Walk no RUN away from it. It is NOT yours. They will allow this to continue, cause like Dr. Phil says ....How's that working for you? Well its working GREAT for them - that needs to change.

Is it your dog? NO
Is it your friend? NO
Is it your problem? NO (the repercussions land on THEM)

Yes, your stuff & chickens may be harmed, this is why your are telling hubby first & why you are going to lay out specific consequences. I would make DH his favorite meal and bring this up over family dinner. That way DD can throw in her 2 cents on how she feels about what happened to her possessions - kinda double team him.

I always say you teach people how to treat you.

- LOVE IT TxChiknRanchers - could not agree more.


Hope I have not offended anyone, just throwing my uneducated opinion out there....​

 

[jeaucamom]

Having been married to a "everyone and everything is more important than you" man for the last 4 years, I have learned a thing or two about surviving. You definitely have to be proactive. If DH hasn't stood up for you until now, he never will. This situation is so blatantly wrong, and yet, he chooses to walk a fine line. Fine. Call the authorities and tell them you are a neighbor of the neighbor and the dog is barking. Then call and say he's gotten out etc. Do it so many times until it is taken away. He has no business owning a dog anyway, he sounds like a total idiot. Or have a "true" friend or relative nap it out of his backyard. There has got to be a passive agressive way to handle this with a smile on your face that says "I can't imagine how that happened, how horrible" gringrin Rest assured, he will bring it again and it will chase your animals again and your DH will not stand up for you again, so you have to take care of this before there is a next time.

 

[gritsar]

Aww, what a nightmare you had to deal with. It's been said that there is no bad dogs, only bad owners and that's true...to a point. We also own one of those empty brain boxes in a dog suit.
The owner showed no respect and yes, your husband shoulda have stuck up for you, but he didn't. I would be hopping mad myself.
First of all, the comforter needs to be dry-cleaned. You might think it's embarrasing to take it to the dry cleaners, but I'm sure they've had to deal with other embarrasing things on fabric. AND the owner of brain dead needs to be the one paying the drycleaning bill. I'd send him the bill and not even tell DH that you sent it. DH might get mad about that, but he'll have to get over it eventually.
I have one good dog that has such awesome manners and listens so well that my SO actually allows her to be the first dog to ever live inside this house in it's 40+year history. The other one, the one I call HIS dog, is plain and simply brain dead. That one lives on a run, has a dog house and is given all the things the good dog gets, only outside.
It's all about respect, as I said. The man doesn't respect you, your DH or your family, so he'd be history as far as I was concerned. Dealing with the DH's lack of respect is way trickier. Perhaps showing him a little less respect, in some small way, will remind him that you have to give it to get it.

 

[DuckLady]

Quote:
Exactly. That is why I referred to this lunkhead as your DH's "so called" friend.
He is a user. If you husband won't step up, then unfortunately you will. By raging inside, it is not getting through to this person. Get in his face and let it all out. Scare him away so he won't want to come over. When you find out he is coming for dinner, stop all preparations. Make your DH take HIM out to dinner if he feels his friend needs to be fed.

It works, believe me. And it feels sooooooooo good!