Did you always know you wanted kids?

[bantamsrus]

Ever since I was in my teens I knew I didn't want kids. Yes, I was an only child. Maybe it had something to do with that? Never really liked kids/babies--still don't.

Now that I'm married we have lots of "children"--they all have fur or feathers and are extremely important in my life!!! To bad we can't claim them on our taxes!

Note--I'm a vet tech, maybe I was meant to "have kittens"?

 

[annie3001]

yes, i think i always wanted kids! and perhaps maybe more . we have 2 toddlers, and they are such a blessing.

 

[chickenbottom]

when i was younger i never wanted kids. now knowing i cant have any myself i want them more than ever but adoption is so expensive ill probably be stuck without.

 

[mom'sfolly]

I just want to add something else about having kiddos that some people might not consider fully. It is for life, period. Once you are a mom or dad you don't have the option of opting out. My 76 year-old mother is as much my mother now as when I was 6. Kids will take a huge part of your emotional life, forever. These are people who may develop and change in ways you cannot anticipate, and may not like. Like one person mentioned, her ex-DH could not handle the idea that a child of his might turn out gay. They can break your heart in so many ways, because you care so much.

For me, any potential heartbreak has been worth the privilege of watching them become the people they are, and helping guide that development. My boys might make me crazy, but they make me proud, happy, and amazed on a daily basis.

I think in some ways having children is a leap of faith. It anchors you to the future, and in many ways is the most hopeful thing a person can do. It is the hope for a future good enough for your children, of a place that is good and safe and welcoming. It is a hope for a child that is healthy and whole, that will grow into a successful human being. It is an act of faith that the world will still exist, and can nurture your child. It can also be an expression of faith in your SO, that you can continue in the world with that person, at least for the time it takes to raise a child.

 

[fordmommy]

I always knew I wanted kids. And I always knew that I would NEVER want that child to be an ONLY child. I AM an only child and I wouldn't wish that on any one. I have only ever met one person in my life that was an only child and would only want one kid.

We, "only kids", tend to have social issues. I, personally HATE to be alone. Can't do it for long periods of time.

My Dh has a cousin that does NOT want kids. He says that "Kids are just DNA replicas." My DH got so upset with this cousin, he does not talk to him any more. And they were best friends for years. And the really sad part about that is that the guys wife always wanted kids and thought that she could change his mind. And now we hear that she has MS pretty bad and now can't have kids.

It just makes me want to cry.

 

[bheila]

Yes, from the time I was 12 I always wanted kids. I wanted 6 to be exact

I gave birth to 3 and my husband has 3 from his previous marriage. So, there you go I got the 6 I wanted. My kids are my life

I would do anything for them. I would never be in a relationship with someone who didn't want kids. I wouldn't be happy.....

 

[Chicken Chaperone]

mom'sfolly :

I think in some ways having children is a leap of faith. It anchors you to the future, and in many ways is the most hopeful thing a person can do. It is the hope for a future good enough for your children, of a place that is good and safe and welcoming. It is a hope for a child that is healthy and whole, that will grow into a successful human being. It is an act of faith that the world will still exist, and can nurture your child. It can also be an expression of faith in your SO, that you can continue in the world with that person, at least for the time it takes to raise a child.

Oh, this is so true and so well said I wanted to point it out especially just in case anyone missed it.
Bravo!

 

[Krysstyllanthrox]

Kinda, sorta. I went through a phase in college where I didn't want them, I wanted to be a career woman.

Then I got my career and realized...this isn't what I really want. I want to be a mom. Very badly.

Sadly, Hubs and I have been trying for 2 years, no babies yet. I have medical issues that may prevent it totally. So we are going to look into foster/adoption in a few years after we have exhausted everything we can do ourselves. (No intense medical intervention, we don't want that.)

I've been told I'm Mom for all our friends.

 

[key west chick]

I got pregnant and had DD at 21 on my own. She was almost 4 when I meet DH. He didn't think he would ever get married, or have kids. We were married within a year and on our 1 year anniversary found out i was prego, on purpose. He had decided after we had gotten married he did want kids after all. I never pressured him about it, he decided on his own. I had always wanted 2 kids so it was great. We had a son and DH couldnt have been happier.

 

[Bluemoon420]

I had female medical issues starting at 9 years old. As I got older, and those medical issues got worse, I was told by my doctors. You can't have kids, and never really thought much about it after that.

One Christmas Eve ( I was 21, and in college.) , I was at a friends house like every year previous celebrating. I felt really sick, and they took me to the emergency room. They did a bunch of tests, and the doctor eventually came to talk to me. Your pregnant he says. I said, No. that's impossible. I can't be pregnant. He then said to me, Do I really need to explain why you're pregnant.

Well, after going back and forth for about ten minutes, he called my doctor. She left a christmas party, and came right to the hospital. She didn't believe it either, and wanted the tests run again. Sure enough, I was pregnant. They weren't sure how, but it was explained to me that my pregnancy may not go full term. etc.

I had the worst, most painful pregnancy ever. I had four kidney infections, many hospitalizations. I had a girl 9 months later. The birth was just as bad as the pregnancy since she was much larger then they thought she was. I almost died during birth.

She was a great baby

Never really fussed, and maybe that was reward for having such a rough time being pregnant. I had to have a surgery about 6 months after I had her, to repair all the damage. My doctor clipped, tied, and burned my tubes to be sure it didn't happen again. I wanted to make sure I was around to see my daughter grow up, and didn't want to risk not seeing that.

So, even though I never really expected to have any children. I have a great one, and in many ways I'm glad things happened the way they did, but I knew I didn't want anymore. There's no right or wrong way, and the way I see it...... Things happen for a reason.

Bluemoon