Did you know that your child could be in danger?

[Mattemma]

I am so sorry you and your dd are going through this.What in the world are the parents of the abuser thinking by moving near you?

It is bad enough our children get abused,but often when they do speak out THEY are treated worse than the abusers.Similar to bullying people will ask..why didn't you stop it? What did you do to bring it on? People who speak out are often more shunned than the actual perputraitor(sp). I think that is because people are so very uncomfortable with the knowledge that this sort of thing occurs,and they are somewhat angry that they have to admit it happens.

And you are right in that,atleast for me, the thought of girl on girl sexual abuse has not occured to me as something I need to watch for.

Part of me would want to move and part of me stay,because the home is so special BUT I would still start looking for another home.It is like living next to a NFH. You hate to give in but I have read of many stories where people eventually move and have a wonderful life now.I would start looking for another home even if you are not really wanting too.Just look.You may come across something better.

I always tell my dh that the loss in money from the sale of our home would be OK ,because we would be buying a home that is BETTER and probably cheaper. It is just money and money comes and goes.We will never get the money we put into the home due to the recent value drops.I was looking at homes the other day and saw one that was selling for 15k,and that same house had sold for 65k in 2008.Major loss for those people but I am guessing they have their reasons.I have seen many sales like that.

I am suprised no one is shunning the girl.Isn't SHE embarrassed beyong belief by the public exposure of her sexual actions with another girl? I suppose it is hush hush (what SHE did) or maybe the public /peers blame your dd more than the girl that abused her? I know I would not want my dd playing or even talking with a girl that has found ways to get their playmates to perform sexual acts on them.I guess if no agency listened to me I would be talking to other mothers daily and letting them know they should watch out for that girl and why.Yea,they can deny it too(and say you are a mean gossip) but atleast you warned them.

It is going to be so hard for your dd to get through this given what has resulted since she confided in you.I am so sorry.Hugs for you both and prayers for healing.

 

[Camelot Farms]

I am suprised no one is shunning the girl.Isn't SHE embarrassed beyong belief by the public exposure of her sexual actions with another girl? I suppose it is hush hush (what SHE did) or maybe the public /peers blame your dd more than the girl that abused her? I know I would not want my dd playing or even talking with a girl that has found ways to get their playmates to perform sexual acts on them.I guess if no agency listened to me I would be talking to other mothers daily and letting them know they should watch out for that girl and why.Yea,they can deny it too(and say you are a mean gossip) but atleast you warned them.

Apparently there are more rules that protect the abuser than protect my daughter. I have been told that I can not disclose this childs name or give any identifying information that would be obvious enough for parents to know who it was. I refuse to do anything that that will give them the upper hand and revictimize our family.

I believe that they moved here because they thought that another child at their apartment complex was the complainant. So, they left there and moved here, never suspecting that it was my DD. My DD has not had ANY contact with this child or the family since Easter weekend 2010 and the report was made in August. By then, my DD was off thier radar.

I did let the principal at the chiool know why were discontinuing the plan to return DD to school from homeschooling. I didnt want them to think that DD had just given up. Now, if she discloses to other staff etc, then thats her choice as an administrator.

Its just frustrating for DD to watch this child take over her neighborhood, her school and her friends. She's already taken so much

 

[calicokat]

No advice here, just more prayers and {{hugs}}} for your whole family.

You are not in the twighlight zone, we are all shaking our heads in disbelief with you

Hopefully with all the great minds and varied experiences here, someone will throw out an idea that will spark a solution, 'cause this just isn't right and your DD deserves (and I NEVER use that word!) a decent resolution!

 

[Qi Chicken]

I'm so so sorry. More than I can say. I must be missing something here and I apologize. But I think you said that you have known the parents for 5 years and do not believe they are abusing their daughter. That they think someone else made the complaint and they moved to get away from them. I am not sure that they even KNOW that their daughter is on the internet with this kind of stuff. If you have a problem with someone you can talk to that someone without it being libel can't you?

Go to the parents, tell them you made the complaint based on xyz information from your daughter. Tell them what their daughter is doing on the computer and what she did to yours. Explain how this has disrupted her recovery. If they moved to get away from one accuser then I don't see why they wouldn't move to get away from you.

Again, I'm sure I've missed something because you seem like you are exploring ALL the options and being a strong advocate for your daughter. But just in case, go talk to them and tell them what she has done.

I'm also imagining the stress levels you are operating under. Very little if any alone time, worry for your daughter, financial struggles due to the aforementioned. I can't imagine how difficult this must be, I hope you get some peace from all of these worries soon.

 

[PineappleMama]

The parents of this child actually had the nerve to do such a thing?

Well, I guess we can figure where the kiddo learned to hunt for prey from huh?

Sick Sick Sick.

To you parents and to your DD.. NO child should have to go through that... it changes you for LIFE... and to think of those... "people" buying that house...

There are no words.

 

[Camelot Farms]

Quote:
Sadly, you arent missing anything. Its a mess.
The parents do know. The mother actually came to our house the weekend that they began moving in. I told her that I had reported that her daughter had assaulted DD and told her to leave the property.
A few minutes later the childs father was leaving nasty messages on my voicemail calling my DD a liar. In fact her said 'I am standing right here in front of my DD and she is swearing that she doesnt know what you are talking about' DUH!
So any further contact would be useless. They do not believe that their child could do such a thing.

They rented the other apartment, this is a house and they have signed a lease. They also brought all of their horses over. I dont see them moving anytime soon.

They also refused to accept delivery of the certified notice of no trespass so now I have to hire the Sheriff's Department to serve the notice. *sigh*

 

[babylady4]

Those phone messages sure do sound like harassment to me........ you did not happen to save any of them did you? Have the police take a listen perhaps?

There are ways of getting out of a lease, they can sub-let the place.......

I sure would like to rent somewhere like that! Enough room for horses???? WOW!

 

[MysticScorpio82]

I have read all the pages on this thread last night, and I am still at a loss for words. I just want to hug your daughter and tell her everything will be ok.

I also feel bad for the other child, because her parent HAVE abused her by allowing her to see that crap at such a young age and change her brain chemistry. She will never be normal thanks to her parent's neglect.

Them moving next door is not fair to your daughter, either. Every child has the right to feel safe in their own home! This whole situation is so heart-breaking to me. I will be keeping your family in my prayers.

 

[Camelot Farms]

Quote:
They only got it because the housing market stinks and this place has been on the market for 18 months. Most folks have trouble mortgaging a double wide and thats what this is.
And they lied a blue streak to get it. They were in court in August for being behind 2000.00 in the rent. Then miraculously they get into this place. Some people can shower in horse manure and still come out smelling like a rose.... gah!

I should mention that the 'family' is now separated. They were on again off again for a while, but right around the time that we stopped all contact with this child for other reasons, they split for good. So somehow she is affording this place, feeding (hopefully) 3 horses and they have been there for 2 weeks and I havent seen her leave long enough to go to a job.

So, now I am holding out on the wish that she wont make it long before she blows the lease and has to leave.

I am planning a call to Animal Control this week. She brought their 3 horses and I havent seen a bale of hay yet. There is also NO shelter to get out of the rain or snow. if I cant get someone to protect my kid, maybe someone will care about the horses....

 

[Nekhebet]

Quote:
They only got it because the housing market stinks and this place has been on the market for 18 months. Most folks have trouble mortgaging a double wide and thats what this is.
And they lied a blue streak to get it. They were in court in August for being behind 2000.00 in the rent. Then miraculously they get into this place. Some people can shower in horse manure and still come out smelling like a rose.... gah!

I should mention that the 'family' is now separated. They were on again off again for a while, but right around the time that we stopped all contact with this child for other reasons, they split for good. So somehow she is affording this place, feeding (hopefully) 3 horses and they have been there for 2 weeks and I havent seen her leave long enough to go to a job.

So, now I am holding out on the wish that she wont make it long before she blows the lease and has to leave.

I am planning a call to Animal Control this week. She brought their 3 horses and I havent seen a bale of hay yet. There is also NO shelter to get out of the rain or snow. if I cant get someone to protect my kid, maybe someone will care about the horses....

Do everything you can and don't let up. If life is unpleasant enough, she will leave.
Trust me, there are plenty of ways to make a persons life living hell. My ex used to call CPS on me, got to the point where the court told him if he called ONE MORE TIME and they found nothing he'd lose what custody he had.
He also took me to small claims court for a lot of things.
Something to think about....if you've put out money for COUNSELING and psychiatric care, you may be able to put those fees onto the other parent. If not, maybe get them to the point of being FED UP of being around someone who's on them like white on rice. I agree with the others. Call the media, make what reports you can, contact important people and keep records of everything you can (can't remember if you have police reports, but you can get medical and counseling records unless I'm mistaken, or a report).

Find any violation you can, report it, then with those messages you received and DOCUMENTED any crazy behavior, get a restraining order against whoever was making the ruckus. There are a lot of avenues to explore, none of them preferred to her not moving in or some actual repercussions happening, but it's better than nothing.

As for CPS, go over their heads, have you ever heard of Executive email carpet bombs? I'm sure you can do something similar with other agencies. Complain to a head person and CC EVERYONE YOU CAN. There are many levels to being a squeaky wheel, and I hope you can get some help on one of them or another.

Have you mentioned to her leaseholder that she was 2k behind on her last place? They tend to frown on that sort of thing lol. Not sure what else there is to do, but I'm sure there are more avenues than what I'm familiar with.