Difficult horse decision *UPDATE*

[B. Saffles Farms]

It could be a medical issue, I suppose, but more than likely, that isnt the problem. Some horses are just that way, Ive fooled with many horses that have been like that. You could go the route of getting a professinal trainer and spending more on her than 20 good horses would cost. I have very rarely had a horse that couldnt be broke or trained, but they do exist. Its just a flaw. Ship her on and find one you enjoy.

 

[Cara]

Quote:
The pointy stick was just to help keep her off me, otherwise she would squish me against the side of the barn. It's not a regular fixture

There's not really a 'nice' way to teach a horse not to crush you, and it's better than the bite or kick she'd get from another horse. She's not in the least bit afraid of people, and had no respect for personal space when we got her. She's not flighty or nervous, but once she gets into a fighting state of mind she doesn't want to do the simplest thing (like turn).

 

[Wynette]

That must be frustrating, but I am just having the dickens of a time trying to figure out how you guys didn't see any of this behavior before you got her? I mean, from how you describe her, she's nasty in any and ALL situations, no matter what. Not that it matters now...OH! I did want to ask - have you contacted the seller to see if they want her back? Or, perhaps they have another horse that's more appropriate that you could trade them for?

 

[Cara]

It's hard to say. I didn't like her because I felt she was trying to buffalo me, my husband thought she just didn't understand what I wanted and it was a matter of her and I communicating better. He also felt that she needed to be taught more as she is young (she's 4). Teaching her anything new is difficult as we usually have the same battle with her (about turning left) every time, and once she's in fighting mode she's not open to doing anything other than pitching a fit.

 

[Wynette]

OH, she's young and doens't have much time on her. Now how in the world did DH think this was a horse that was going to help you gain your confidence? OH, that's so frustrating. I hear about this type of thing ALL the time..."green horse/green rider" as I call it. THe saddest part is that in lots of cases, the rider ends up not enjoying horses at all, and thinking they're ALL mean and nasty. Sigh. I was in the exact same boat - I beat myself up over it and kept the horse for TEN years before I finally gave up. It was a fight each and every time I got on, and it wasn't enjoyable at all. I forced myself to ride him, and every time, I swear, my heart stopped beating when I got on him. He was just too smart for me, that's all there is too it. He thought of ways to get out of work each and every time, and he won, because I wasn't a good enough rider to show him another way, and that I was the boss. Then, we bought a retired and well-seasoned show horse. He'd been to worlds, nationals, had been shown in halter, showmanship, pleasure, etc. So, he'd been around the block and used to hauling and odd situations. My riding ability got SO much better with him, and so did my confidence! I have to admit, I was right on the edge of throwing in the towel for ALL horses until we got him. Now, if I had the $ to clone him, I would. He's the most awesome babysitter horse, and I put so many young people (and old alike) on him, and he does wonders for them! Why aren't you riding your old boy any longer? He sounds like he'd be the perfect one for you to gain confidence on.

 

[Cara]

I'm riding the old guy

There's only so much he can do, but he's a lot more enjoyable and willing, and doesn't take advantage of me. I still get a knot in my stomach before I get on, but it goes away and my heart rate returns to normal after 10 minutes or so! He did run off with me the other day, but it was pretty dumb to try and ride out alone at feeding time. I can't take him to gather cattle though, because of his breathing issues.

My husband's idea of a gentle horse and mine are two quite different things. If it doesn't buck, rear or bolt, he thinks it's gentle. My kind of gentle horse would ignore a firework going off beside it. I grew up riding English and never had any of the fear issues I have now. I guess you'd need a quieter horse to stay in that tiny saddle! I am afraid of any kind of unpredictable movement, like spooking or fidgeting. I don't get nearly as scared if I have something else to focus on such as penning or sorting cattle. If it's just me and a horse in a pen, or on a trail, i've usually pinpointed anything within a 5 mile radius that might spook them. When i'm on a horse any assertiveness I had on the ground disappears, and the vast majority of them take advantage of that. If it wasn't for Curly i'd probably have lost my love for all horses.

My husband and I agreed that him teaching me isn't going to work. His father was helping me ride Lucy, but I had to get off because I was just too afraid. He lent me his trusty horse that I do get along with until Curly came along.

The idea (after we realised the mare was going to be difficult) was that my husband would work with her while I rode Curly, until Lucy and I were to the point where we might get along. He's increasingly tired of fighting her with little progress though, and has four ranch colts to ride. Its gone from me not wanting to get on her to him not wanting to either, and not wanting me to ride her.

I guess the biggest issue is that I don't have to ride her. My husband sometimes has ranch horses that he doesn't enjoy, but he gets paid to ride them. I just want to ride for fun, and feeling nauseous at the thought of even getting on a horse isn't enjoyable. To a point I can pick and choose, so I may as well pick a good one.

I think I may have a plan. There is a lady who trains horses and also gives lessons about 120 miles away (close for us!). She specialises in helping fearful riders, and also sells horses. Maybe I need to get Lucy sold, take some lessons with her, and see if she can find me the right one. I guess I could possibly take lessons on her sale horses, rather than basing everything on one viewing. It's just too hard to get a good feel for a horse, especially a moody one, in an hour or two. Unfortunately we are so far from anywhere it gets expensive travelling to look at individual horses. That also played a part in us getting Lucy; we couldn't afford to take anymore 200 mile trips to look at horses, and my husband felt she was the best we'd seen. It's hit me that what a horse will do for one person it may well never do for me. I need to find one that I can get something out of.

 

[Wynette]

YES! Always makes you feel better when you have a plan, and I think your decision is RIGHT ON! TAKE YOUR TIME...check this trainer out and make sure that you're comfortable with you. Then, after a few lessons, ask her to help you find a new horse. Sounds like a perfect plan! Good for you!

 

[Tn Gamebirds]

Quote:
I would get rid of her. I've seen horses go through the so called "natural horsemanship" and die with old age and still no better than when they started. I WOULD NOT spend good money sending her to a trainer. I would spend that money on a good horse to ride RIGHT NOW. Not after months of training.

Just take your time and be sure to find one that suits you this time

Usually the type of behavior you describe this horse doing is from someone letting her get away with it when she was younger.

Sometimes you can break them from it . Sometimes not, depends on how long she has gotten away with it.

Good luck with your desision

 

[wyndski]

That sounds like a good plan. Please make sure that if you get another one that you make sure that you like the horse. Believe it or not they can tell if you do not like them, and will work harder for you if you do.

 

[ninny]

Please get rid of her! My parents bought me my first horse because he was pretty. He was a green broke 7yr old. He went out of his way to try and kill us. He tried numerous times to stomp my mom into the ground to the point our newf had to save her. He had to throw himself and attack the horse and ended up hanging on to the horse's throat before we got them apart. This horse messed up my hip horribly. I did not want this horse and cryed for hours once i found out they bought him. I spent my first three years as a horsewoman trying to break this horse and having him break me instead. He would not give his mouth and he would die before he did. Its not worth you or your husbands life and happiness to keep a horse like that. I sold my horse as a bucking bronc. Maybe you could do the same?