Do the people in your life "friend" each other on Facebook?

[HarlansHollowFarms]

I really don't think your Dad is pushing boundaries....your friends have the choice to ignore friends request. In the age of all this connectedness, it is not unusual for people to just start chatting and friend each other. Maybe your friends liked something your Dad said and friended him first? Same goes with friends friending other friends.....does that even make sense

Anything is possible!

 

[maple]

Quote:
So your playing hard to get?

I was friended by a bycers mom who I guess thinks I'm funny or somethin? And we both found out we both have had heart attacks and our bond became more at that time and then the crazy lady is visiting my state because she has family here and on wed. she's gonna come and visit me and yet, she doesn't even like chickens!

...but it all started with her daughter who does like chickens...and thus the friendship began.

But not all "friends" requests make sense to me...I've been asked to be friends with people who really are strangers in my view but if we've shared some giggles on a friends page...I may think about it...but for the most part I ignore them.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
X2! They are all adults. I really would not care who they friended on FB...

 

[gritsar]

I have two sets of "friends" on FB. One is family. I only keep them on there to get an idea of what's going on back east, esp. with my Dad. The other are my dearest friends, most met through BYC. IMP I only friended so I could have more time to aggravate him.

 

[Dar]

I dont friend people unless I know them. I have had requests from people on other friends lists but i ignore...I have pics of my kids on there and I value my privacy.

 

[HHandbasket]

Quote:
Yes, that does make sense! I sure wish that was the case, too, because then it would feel "right" that my dad is finding connectedness with other people in my life that I'm connected to.... but in talking to some people this morning, I did find out that yes, Dad has been questioning my friends about me, saying he wants to get to know me.... why doesn't he just talk to ME? That's what I don't understand. He has messaged some friends that declined his request (well, at least 1 friend that I talked to this morning).

I think my dad's intentions are coming from the right place, but dang... if you want to know something about me, just ask me. I'm an open book and would love to get to know my dad better THAT way, tell him about my life, make him part of what's going on so we could maybe someday develop the closeness he wishes he had. It would be nice.

Also, my dad has a history of social inappropriateness (both IRL and online), and that is a big part of this. I am gonna call him up this evening and just chit-chat with him and hopefully straighten this out, try to see where he's coming from. It's just how he was raised... his life hasn't been easy, and I always try to bear that in mind when dealing with him. A lot of it, I'm sure, is guilt he feels about putting my mother (his then-wife) out when she was 5 months pregnant with me (and my sister was only 2) because he had 2 other girlfriends and wanted time to "figure things out". Mom hopped in the car (they were living in Alabama at the time, where my dad was stationed in the Air Force) and drove, 5 months pregnant and with a 2-year-old little girl, all the way to California by herself in the summer of 1962 to come home to her family. My dad flew all over the world, came back to California when I was 18 months old (so I am told) to meet me, then we never saw him again until a week before my 22nd birthday.

He's in Oregon now and has a wife he adores and has a good life, and I'm so happy for him. Just... why is he waiting until NOW (nearly 50 years later) to be a parent??

So I'll talk to him. At least our relationship is good enough that I can talk to him in a good way and try to work this out. Because I do want to be able to say, "I love you, Daddy", and not feel "weird" about it, if that makes sense.

 

[HarlansHollowFarms]

Quote:
Yes, that does make sense! I sure wish that was the case, too, because then it would feel "right" that my dad is finding connectedness with other people in my life that I'm connected to.... but in talking to some people this morning, I did find out that yes, Dad has been questioning my friends about me, saying he wants to get to know me.... why doesn't he just talk to ME? That's what I don't understand. He has messaged some friends that declined his request (well, at least 1 friend that I talked to this morning).

I think my dad's intentions are coming from the right place, but dang... if you want to know something about me, just ask me. I'm an open book and would love to get to know my dad better THAT way, tell him about my life, make him part of what's going on so we could maybe someday develop the closeness he wishes he had. It would be nice.

Also, my dad has a history of social inappropriateness (both IRL and online), and that is a big part of this. I am gonna call him up this evening and just chit-chat with him and hopefully straighten this out, try to see where he's coming from. It's just how he was raised... his life hasn't been easy, and I always try to bear that in mind when dealing with him. A lot of it, I'm sure, is guilt he feels about putting my mother (his then-wife) out when she was 5 months pregnant with me (and my sister was only 2) because he had 2 other girlfriends and wanted time to "figure things out". Mom hopped in the car (they were living in Alabama at the time, where my dad was stationed in the Air Force) and drove, 5 months pregnant and with a 2-year-old little girl, all the way to California by herself in the summer of 1962 to come home to her family. My dad flew all over the world, came back to California when I was 18 months old (so I am told) to meet me, then we never saw him again until a week before my 22nd birthday.

He's in Oregon now and has a wife he adores and has a good life, and I'm so happy for him. Just... why is he waiting until NOW (nearly 50 years later) to be a parent??

So I'll talk to him. At least our relationship is good enough that I can talk to him in a good way and try to work this out. Because I do want to be able to say, "I love you, Daddy", and not feel "weird" about it, if that makes sense.

Makes perfect sense, I did not meet my natural parents until I was in my late 20's, and most of the time I am still not sure they want a relationship with myself, their grand child or their ggrand kids. At least your is making an attempt even if it may be misguided.

 

[Sierra pachie bars]

I am not a fan of facebook. My so called best friend was messaging husband via facebook behind my back. It was lies , so now she isn't my friend anymore. Shes texting me like crazy, but I do not forgive her. We kept in touch on facebook because she lives in another state was easier. Now my husband on the other had has many little ex girlfriends on his. Funny how he had to post on his facebook one night where we were at a local bar. And guess who shows up at the door. One of his little ex girl buddies.
He also knows I do not like this specific girl on his facebook and have not liked many of her comments on his facebook either.
I think facebook is silly how people take things wrong and personal if you don't invite and so forth.

 

[Beekissed]

I think facebook is silly how people take things wrong and personal if you don't invite and so forth.

Ditto that. I guess I just don't "get" FB at all. These folks aren't really your friends, are they? When you are in the hospital do they come and visit, clean your house for you or help you in any way that doesn't involve sitting behind a computer screen and typing words? I can't imagine that level of friendship doing it for me. I like human contact and human sincerity and I see FB as a way of keeping people at a comfortable distance so you can be a lazy "friend".

Friend requests aren't real friend requests....if they really wanted to be your friend they would call you , visit, have a real life relationship. So what if your dad friends your fake computer generated friends? It's all very superficial and cold anyway. I get tons of friend requests from people I knew in school who haven't bothered to talk to me for over 25 years and now they want to be friends? Sorry....day late, dollar short. Real friends don't catch up on a computer screen....that's what phones are for if you live at a distance, letters are great too and even a personal visit rings of true effort and feeling.

I can't even imagine getting worked up over Fakebook friends. Clearly your dad is lonely and having some regrets about his parenting past. I'd go and see him, tell him everything about you he is wanting to know and make him your real friend.​

 

[Kitt]

I have the friends I play games with, actual friends, a few friends from BYC and my kids. Ex SIL friended me...mistake...MIL friended me...giant mistake. My friends don't friend each other. Unless we all went to school together or have hung out together. I have friended other members of family but they had to go....caused too much drama. My FB is a drama free zone. But then, I'm not on it much but I do like Army Attack. LOL