Do you ever feel like you are about to break into a million pieces? Yea thats me

[angelavl]

Here's a great book that has been very influential in my life: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, and How to say No, by Cloud and Townsend

http://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310247454

Seriously, I'm a pastor and I recommend this book to A LOT of people who come to me with similar stories. Generally speaking, most the women I know are loving, generous, and just a little TOO responsible for their own good. They over extend themselves for what appear to be very good reasons, but end up destroying their own lives (physically, spiritually, emotionally, etc) and ultimately inhibiting their loved ones lives b/c they take responsibility away from those people. We all need to grow up and take responsibility for ourselves, that's how we mature. Believe it or not, "supermoms" can actually care too much!

I don't know enough about you to speak very specifically to your situation (and would never try to assume I could over the internet), but it seems like this book could be a good first step. But, if it doesn't sound right, no worries, it's just a suggestion.

Bless you!
Angela

 

[cassie]

This may or may not be helpful. Sometimes kids fight because they get attention that way and/or it rattles Mother's cage. Both worthwhile goals from a kid's point of view. If the kids are fairly evenly matched you might just let them have at it and ignore it. I used to babysit three little boys and I would have them for several days at a time. They would do this fighting thing and their mother would come running, Hmm. They tried it with me. I told them they could fight all they wanted as long as they did not use weapons but they were going to do it OUTSIDE because I didn't want to deal with it. It was February and damp and cold out. I threw them out without sweaters or jackets and told them they could come back in when they could behave in a civilized manner. It didn't take too many turns out in the cold for them to figure out that one, I meant it, and two, that they were better off getting along.

You cannot take full responsibility for other people's actions. You just can't. Not without sacrificing your health and sanity. And if you do that, you can't help anyone. Not even yourself. Have you considered counseling for yourself to learn new coping skills? You really can't change other people, but you can change the way you react to them so it is less stressful to you. And the first step is to allow people to take more responsibility for themselves. Believe me, if you weren't there they would figure it out.

 

[HeatherLynn]

Worst came to worst tonight. My dad decided to work on the barn roof and fell. Breaks in his neck and spine. Not paralized thank God but he is off to the trauma center from the local hospital. I am heading out in a few to spend the night at the hospital with my mom. I'll break into a million later, no time for it at this point. If you few could pray that would be great.

 

[Frogdogtimestwo]

Good Lord! (((((HUGS))))) and prayers on their way!

 

[chickenzoo]

Prayers for your family and you. You really need to find something to do to relieve some of your stress........ been where you are....it sucks and takes its toll on you. My family always thought i was wonder women, could overcome everything........ but then i almost had a nervous breakdown. I never was one to suggest meds, but finally i accepted i needed some help and it has been the best thing for me. Now i just dont get as upset or worry about things like i use too...i use to care about every little thing and what everyone thought about me....now i dont, i can say NO..

 

[redhen]

Oh man... crossing fingers for your dad, Heather..
So sorry..

 

[MammasBabies]

So sorry about your dad. Prayers out to you and your family. Hope these messages help a little.

 

[Carols Clucks]

Sorry to read about your Dad!!

Sounds like he might be in the hospital awhile, maybe once he is doing better it would be a good time to let his docs know he is not taking the meds you mentioned before. They might be able to get to the real reason he stopped and either fix the combo or impress upon him the need.

 

[HeatherLynn]

Well long long day but we survived. My dad is doing great. Apparently the breaks in his back were not spine but bones on the side of the spine? Somthing about L2 L3 was thrown about. They don't seem worried. The break in his neck they are worried about but they are still sending him home in a neck brace. Several broken ribs which we were pretty sure of already. Despite landing on his head they can find no damage. not even a mild concussion. ( that tells you the hard head I am dealing with) I already had it out with him that he is going to sit himself down and heal or else. He said we'll see who wins this arguement but I pulled the " you are upsetting the kids" card. I am bullying everyone into getting what he needs done taken care of without his endangering himself. I tattled to the doctor but they don't seem worried about the pills either. (sigh ) No support I swear. He did promise my mom he would start taking these again. Thankfully since he was already at the hospital they pumped him full of liquids and he passed the stone there. They also are keeping him nicely drugged so he is less onery right now. I wish they could keep that up for the roughly 2 weeks I need to get this barn taken care of. The man is trying to find a way to still climb the ladder in a neck brace. At times I get the feeling our roles are reversing. Its like he is a rebellious teenager. I am not sure how this came about. I don't like it at all.

Anywho my husband totally came through and helped so much. He totally took over. Even one of my brothers pitched in already and another one said he will be here Monday when he gets back in town. Two of the nephews even went to visit in the hospital while I took my mom home for some rest and food. Brought him magazines even. I wish they knew how much even small amounts of help are appreciated. I know they can't be here the way I am. We are lucky I can be home and be there for them. But even if you just have time to sit and talk for an hour or so. Thats so huge to them and they actually sit and relax and don't try to kill themselves. It lifts their moods which makes them feel healthier.

Oddly enough I am so far from breaking right now. I am tired but I feel pretty together. I think not having the entire world on my shoulders for once makes it so much easier. in the last 36 hours I got 3 hours sleep and I don't feel that same exhaustion. I am tired but its a good tired. I am still worried but at least there are others to lean on. I wish it would last.