Do you ever worry that doing the right thing... (long rant)

[wegotchickens]

... will end up hurting someone you care about?

DD went on a field trip yesterday. The kids were taken to, and turned loose in, a small tourist-trap town. They HAD to stay in groups of 3 or more, and be back in time for the bus to take them back to school. But apparently 3 girls didn't go to Ripley's or a restaurant, or any of the 'kid-appropriate' locations. Instead, these three went to a tattoo parlor and got their belly-buttons pierced

This place pierced the belly-buttons of these children after they 'called a parent for permission'. There was no adult present!! These girls are 14, 14 and 13.

DD told me all about this when I got home from work and asked her about the trip. She was pretty horrified. I thought at first it was a gag or something, but she said one girl was showing off her new 'bling' and how she could already turn and move hers where DD could see

And another was doing the same thing in another crowd of kids. All 3 were careful not to do this around a teacher, and DD was pretty certain the teachers had no idea. DD has a cousin with a lot of peircing, so I believe her when she says this was the real thing.

I was/ am horrified and disgusted. I worried off and on all last night about who these girls might actually have called, instead of their parents, for 'permission'. And I thought about infection, or worse yet, HIV or hepatitus. I decided I should call the school and make sure someone was aware that this had happened.

This morning I told DD about my decision and she was relieved. She's a sweet kid and she was worried about these girls, too. DD never once asked me not to make that call, or worried about repercussions towards her own self.
But I do worry. DD has had a very rough year, and there are many unkind kids who've made her year a little harder than it had to be. The pierced girls are part of the popular crowd and my dd is not. The nice kids who defended DD from past bullying may not be as supportive after this decision to turn these girls in to the 'authorities'. I hope that's not the case, but it does worry me.

So, I am praying that this all works out for the best.
And wishing that the principal would hurry up and call me back

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[3goodeggs]

They showed it to a lot of of girls. not just your daughter. make sure her name is to be left out of this. The belly button gang won't know who pointed fingers at whom. or who. or whatever, good luck. Better to be on the outside looking in than on the inside looking out. There is a lot more room to do what you want to when you are not confined to the in crowd. Good for DD.

 

[bufforp89]

What a bunch of sneaky little girls! I think you did the right think and your DD was right to tell you. I bet they dont have thoes peircings for long! On the bright side I wouldnt worry much about HIV or hep. I think thoes sort of place are monitered and they usually use clean sterile needles right out of the package for things like that. Infection could be a prob though.

 

[mom'sfolly]

This is wrong on so many levels, you are definitely doing the right thing.

The tatoo parlor was breaking the law: http://state.tn.us/sos/rules/1200/1200-23/1200-23-06.pdf This clearly says the permission must be in writing. The school will have something to say too, with the liability of these kids doing this on a field trip. I suspect suspension at the least; but considering the sneakiness of these girls,the parents are likely to go after the school. What a huge mess!!!!

Hopefully, no one will know who reported these girls. But the school needs to know, and the school should be the one to inform the parents.

 

[ranchhand]

I'm not sure the school is going to do anything but try to keep it quiet. They are likely to be sued over this. Don't let the school get away with it. Turning kids loose in a tourist town is a big no-no. Especially young teenage girls.

 

[wegotchickens]

mom'sfolly :

This is wrong on so many levels, you are definitely doing the right thing.

The tatoo parlor was breaking the law: http://state.tn.us/sos/rules/1200/1200-23/1200-23-06.pdf This clearly says the permission must be in writing. The school will have something to say too, with the liability of these kids doing this on a field trip. I suspect suspension at the least; but considering the sneakiness of these girls,the parents are likely to go after the school. What a huge mess!!!!

Hopefully, no one will know who reported these girls. But the school needs to know, and the school should be the one to inform the parents.

I was pretty sure there had to be more to the permission. But as DH pointed out last night, when I discussed it with him, how do you even know the parents signed the permission if they aren't present?

I am hopeful that other students already reported this, and DD's name will not be involved at all. I will certainly try to keep her name out of it no matter what! But I had to know that someone made these parents aware of what had happened.​

 

[EweSheep]

mom'sfolly :

This is wrong on so many levels, you are definitely doing the right thing.

The tatoo parlor was breaking the law: http://state.tn.us/sos/rules/1200/1200-23/1200-23-06.pdf This clearly says the permission must be in writing. The school will have something to say too, with the liability of these kids doing this on a field trip. I suspect suspension at the least; but considering the sneakiness of these girls,the parents are likely to go after the school. What a huge mess!!!!

Hopefully, no one will know who reported these girls. But the school needs to know, and the school should be the one to inform the parents.

Ditto! It is illegial to do that and the school should have been responsible as well. It beehooves me how the students got away with the permissions.

Hope the principal will call you back!​

 

[wegotchickens]

Quote:
All the parents knew the kids would be unescorted much of the time. We all signed permission slips (or at least, I know I did). And this is a quaint little town, where kids have been doing this same thing for years. The trip was only 8th graders, and only the ones who had no 'referals' or other disciplinary issues. A rite of passage before high school kind of thing.

I would certainly hope the school doesn't try to sweep this under the rug!!



BTW, my DD had a very good time on the trip. She scared herself silly at Ripley's Haunted House (her friends were so scared they wimped out 1/2 way through). They went to a car museum. And they ate at Bubba Gump's (she said she left a good tip, I said 'Was the waiter cute?" and she blushed LOL). This was what the trip was supposed to be about!

 

[SAORSA]

A very very similar thing happened to me when I was in high school, (back when the dinosaur roamed).
I told my mother about some girls I had known all of my life, well let's not go there. Anyway, I told her in confidence and she told their mothers.
She neglected to tell me she had called their mothers and, well, things were a little tense to say the least at school the next day.

You will be telling the principal and so have the opportunity to request, (demand), anonymity.

PLEASE, DEMAND THAT THE PRINCIPAL KEEP THE INFORMATION BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU

 

[PineappleMama]

If one of mine were dumb enough to do such a thing then I would definitely appreciate the head's up.

One, so I could ground them 'til they're forty.

Two, so we can remove the dang thing and watch for diseases.

Three, because metal allergies run in our family. Nickel in particular. Surgical steel has caused more than one allergic reaction. Both in jewelry and in literal steel used in surgery, such as staples. If you don't know your child has this thing in them, then if it starts having problems then you won't know. And, obviously they'll be hesitant to tell you since they know about point One.

I've got nothing against tats OR piercings, I've had both. Three tats total plus ears pierced, at one time had my tongue done but let it grow over, then got navel done with my sister but we both let them grow over. BUT WE WERE BOTH LEGAL AGE AND OUT OF OUR MAMA'S HOUSE. So long as you're living under your Mama's Roof, you gotta go with Mama's Rules. And one of those is not doing anything that You Know could cause you serious health problems. You can ask, IE DD does have her ears pierced and we're careful when selecting earrings, but the answer might be no. Deal with it. Soon enough you'll be on your own and can do whatever you like.

Leastways that's how I'd see it. Doubt my kiddo would be quite so appreciative of the call. But then, should her navel start to smell do to rot I imagine at that point she might break down and admit she'd been better off if someone had snitched. *shrug*

But, as with many of my theories on child rearing... ask me again in 10-20 years (after both of ours have flown the coop) and see if I still say the same.