Does anyone else NOT get along with their Dad?

[chicken_china_mom]

My dad walked out on my mom when she told him she was pregnant with me, and he never looked back. I tracked him down a number of years ago, about 6 weeks after the birth of my first daughter, and we spoke cordially on the phone, but only because I made the effort. I called him a few more times over the next year or so, but then I lost his number, and he never called me. It's been nearly 10 years now, and I haven't spoken to him. He has a Facebook page, I tried to add him. He never added me back. I did find my uncle, his younger brother, who did add me on Facebook, but he is strange. Says things like "my alleged relation to his brother", like I could possibly be lying. Um, I'm 35, it's not like I'm going to go after him for back child support or that pony I wanted when I was 6! Geesh! I just wanted some sort of relationship with that side of the family. I just wanted to be ACKNOWLEDGED, is that too much to ask? I don't think so. Mostly I want to know the family history, and the health history. Retinal Blastoma runs on that side of the family and my dad lost his eye at 8 months old, and his niece lost hers at 2 yrs old. He was upset when I told him I had kids when I first talked to him, more like alarmed than mad. He insisted I get them checked frequently (their eyes) which I did. I have some great uncles (and some not so great ones), and I had a close relationship with my grandfather until he died in '86. I still miss him terribly. I wish I'd had a dad around. But my mom was great, and I had my grandmother, and I knew I was loved, so it's all good.

 

[arabianequine]

It would have been nice to have a dad growing up and then the time comes when it is too late and I think we just take things for granted far to much by thinking they will always be here and by far not the case. My relationship was severed by my parents when I was growing up not me, I was a child.

You have a dad you should be grateful and make the best of it. Tell him how you feel right when the comments and things are made and if he gets nasty say if you care about me and wanna see me then don't say stuff like that I don't like it and you should not say things like that to people you love and care about. Say you sure have weird way of showing it if says something smart back. I would leave and let him think about it if gets out of hand. He may just be taking you for granted.

 

[Three Cedars Silkies]

These posts are so sad to me because my dad was my hero. He believed in me and told me I could do or be anything. In fact, he ran interference between my and my mom....she loves me, I know...but was very controlling with me when I was home.

My dad died 13 years ago and I miss him so much.

I don't know what to say except ........ I'm so sorry

 

[Mattemma]

I have not seen my dad since I was about 10-ish, so that would be about 30 years ago more or less. He was very abusive towards my mother.Alcohol did play a role,but I will not allow drugs to justify tortuing another. Family or not a bad person needs to be avoided.

I actually did look into finding my dad last week.Not to talk to him,but just see if he was still alive.He swore he would kill my mom.Hired someone one time to do it.
So it would be nice to know if he is still lurking in the shadows.

 

[Damummis]

Both of my parents "disowned" me when I was "kicked" out of my religion. It is hard but I am getting use to it.

 

[jendh]

My dad walked out on me, my Mom and my sister when I was four. He has continued to be, lets's call it "distant", for all of my life. I quit expecting anything from him years ago. I just kinda take our relationship at face value, because that seems to be all it is to him. I just refuse to let him use any more of my energy, I have more important things to do than worry about my daddy coming through for me.

 

[SunChick]

I would say my relationship with my dad is ok/good, despite all the infidelity and his inability to admit to it to his wife and kids. He also refuses to admit when he hit her or threw dishes during their more turmulent times and frequently tells us we imagined it. I find though he gets stranger as the years go on. He definitely still treats us as Kids (we are all in our 30's now) and expects us to take his word as gospel and expects us to do what he says when he says it and that goes on into running our adult lives. He has developed strange views of the world but doens't exactly practice what he preaches. He refuses to admit fault when it is clearly so. I tend to take a step aside when it comes to my dad, acknowledge the problems in my parents relationship, nod my head sagely when he gets into his "wierdness" but I try to stay out of it. I take his moods and conspiracy theories with a grain of salt. There are times I don't get along with him, because I won't go along with what he thinks I should do. The man throws a good temper tantrum and I often wonder who is the child and who is the parent in the long run.

The recipe for getting along is lots of space (over 500 miles away) and 1-2 visits a year no more than a week.

 

[chickensducks&agoose]

My father and I get along... on the phone. He 'invested' my entire trust fund in his own business.. that he then used to buy motorhome, vans, erect a giant treehouse, pool, etc... then the business went under... wonder why? ... so the money was just gone. Enough money that i would't have a mortgage at all, and we'd have a decent car... (instead of scraping by) so in person, it's hard to not still be mad, but on the phone, it's fine. He has his good points, and they are all available on the phone.

 

[Steve_of_sandspoultry]

My dad and I didn't see eye to eye (to put it mildly) when I was growing up. One day I was visiting them on leave from the military and he told me he was proud of me, you could have knocked me over with a feather. He passed away last Oct and I deeply regret being a PIA growing up and not spending more time with both my parents when I could have. One of the things that was read at the grave site was written by him a few years before he passed. The things he wrote will always stick with me, he appoligized to us kids for being gone (working alot) and not being patient as he should have been with us but he did the best he could. There was alot more but it's private. I wish I could tell him what I'm thinking right now.

If there is anyway to keep and peace and at least be civil I would highly recommend it before it's to late.

Steve

 

[SarahFair]

My dad and I talk on the phone every day.. except on the weekends.
There have been times I havent talked to my dad though.

The time where he had me arrested for walking in the house (I was put in the police car, yelled at by the police, and then set free)
Then there was the time the last day I lived with him was when I was about 6/7 months preggo and was suppose to make gatorade (the powder kind) before he got home. Well he came home a few hours early and lost his cool when he found no gatorade was made. He started screaming, jumping up and down, and just running around like a chicken with his head cut off.
...See my dad is funny about his gatorade. He wants it made wit HOT water but wants to drink it cold. So when I went to make it he said 'NO! IT HAS TO BE MADE WITH HOT WATER! AND I DONT WANT TO FING DRINK IT HOT! IM FING HOT AND DONT WANT A FING HOT DRINK!'
At that point I dropped everything I had in my hands, packed a bag, and moved in with Kyle. I dont think I talked to my dad till after Beau was born. All over Gatorade!

My dad just likes things to go his way and his way only. Ive learned to accept that because in a way Im like that. I just roll my eyes and do it. Rolling my eyes some how helps