Does anyone else NOT get along with their Dad?

[matthewschickens]

Quote:
You wouldn't be here without your Dad and you should love him no matter what happens. Strive to keep that relationship with you Daddy like you probably did when you were little.

 

[Chickenmaven]

This thread should NOT be locked!

There are men who father kids and do not care enough to parent them. My own father grew more & more distant after he and my mom divorced. Mom really tried to promote & nuture his relationship with us. He was the one who made little effort. I mean, how hard is it to put a birthday card in the mail?!? I have felt a void from this lack of relationship. My husband tries to prompt me to get in touch with my dad, but gosh, it is so hard, so sad. I was hurt as a child, felt abandoned. I cannot put myself out there to be hurt again.

My feelings, and the feelings of others on this thread, are real & hurtful & significant. Please do not tell us we don't have the right to express them! Please don't tell us to shake off years of hurt & "play nice" with someone who was hurtful. I know what a wonderful father is: I am married to one! I know my own father is not wonderful. He is a decent citizen, but did not parent me.

 

[easttxchick]

Quote:
Amen to that. Having lost my father, who was my hero, to cancer 3 years ago, I can attest to the fact that even though I had a great relationship with my dad-I still wish for one more day with him. Miss him every day of my life.

 

[Bluemoon420]

I don't have the Dad problem, but none of us have spoken, or know the whereabouts of our mother. I haven't seen or heard from her in 25 years. We all tried to find her, and reach out to her. After awhile everyone just said to hell with her and gave up. If she wants to find us she knows where to look. She is not a dumb woman by any means. I don't have any regrets, and neither does anyone else. It is what it is, and it's not from the lack of any of us trying. It's probably for the best anyway. She wasn't exactly mother of year. I said my peace to her years ago.

Bluemoon

 

[MagsC]

Wow. Lots of people in the same boat or worse, that's sad.

I DO love my dad we just dont see eye to eye most of the time.

 

[bantamamba]

My father left my mother and I when I was 8, because alcohol was more important to him. Throughout all these years I have had to watch my mother struggle and have to fight him for child support, only seeing him at best once a year until I was 14 or so. Now several years pass between visits...the last time I saw him was at my grandfather's funeral two years ago...and phone calls are just about scarce. It is not a complete abandonment, but he has not been present for any of my milestones, and he hardly seems to care about what is going on in my life. The other day he called me to return the father's day message I left him, and got offended when I didn't have much to talk about with him. Honestly, the man is so disconnected. How can I have a candid conversation with a stranger? It's not my fault he chose the drink over his family and then promptly moved half way across the country.

I guess you can say I still love him, but there is a lot of anger there too. More anger than love.

Guess I have daddy issues, eh? lol

 

[agnes_day]

i met my father for the first time when i was 13...a couple weeks later, he took me on a trip to europe. that was the worst 2 weeks of my life. he spent the entire time berating me for being overweight, bad at math, and just about anything else he could think of. he would order expensive meals in restaurants, allow me to take a couple bites, and take the whole thing away and throw it in the trash. he was seriously messed up. i called home whenever i could, begging to get help to come home but of course there wasnt much my mom could do. this man was a complete nutcase. even up until he put me on the plane home, he told me i would never see my mom again, just to see me freak out.

the best part is even after this..my MOM wanted him to keep me on a permanent basis! so glad that he disliked me so!!! i found him again a few years ago, on the internet..but he had died back in 2001, oh well. no skin off my nose.

(my mom obviously wasnt so great either)

 

[sune42]

Arg! I have tried typing this three times now, I just can't get used to my silly new keyboard!


My dad and I stopped talking when he kicked me out at 16. It was years before we started talking again and that was because I saw him and he had aged so much.

There is a Steven King story called 'Rage" where the character hated his dad growing up. Finally when he was older he decided to have it out with his dad. After the first hit he realized who he was fighting wasn't the same person he hated. That person was burred deep inside age and a growing beer gut. That was my father. The person I disliked was not there anymore. Instead I had an old man in front of me.

My dad and I talk sporadically now, and see each other on occasion.

 

[danischi24]

I adore my dad-he's my idol, but I almost feel happy for those that have a distant relationship because one day (quite soon as he is frail) I will lose my dad & I know that the pain will never go away & it will scar me forever. The people who aren't close to their fathers will keep on with their lives without a huge gaping hole when they are gone. I'm almost jealous.

 

[mylittlezoo]

Quote:
You should instead be grateful you HAVE a functional father. Those of us that don't would far rather have the 'huge gaping hole' than the emotionally destructive men who seemingly seek to belittle us and bring us down.