Does anyone else NOT get along with their Dad?

[MagsC]

Sigh. I have tried but he is sure an obstinate old cuss. I gave up a long time ago of ever making him "proud".
I love him anyway but there are times some of the things he says are quite hurtful. Luckily I have had years of practice in ignoring his lack of a filter.(meaning, he says whatever comes to mind, no tact.)
Anyone else???

 

[schellie69]

I don't see or talk to my dad, Never will again either.

 

[MagsC]

Sometimes I wish that was an option for me but it would hurt my mother too much and I cant bring myself to do that.

If it was just him? Well, I probably would only see him on the important holidays.

 

[fowltemptress]

My dad doesn't have access to my life anymore, and it's going to stay that way.

 

[Godsgrl]

I'm so sad to read these stories. My dad is the best in the world. I love him to death, and we are very good friends. I wish everyone had the same relationship with their dads.

 

[mangled]

I've tried for years to have a relationship with my dad and finally just gave up. He seems to have no interest in having a relationship with me or my children or husband, so I've finally reached the point of thinking that it's his loss.

We see him on big holidays. Once in a while I get what I call "duty phonecalls" where he calls just to make sure I'm still breathing. I used to call every couple weeks, but no more. I guess I remind him too much of my mom. Lol. He can't stand her either, and they've been divorced for 26 years.

So, no, you're not alone.

Em

 

[Hens_And_Chicks]

I used to be so intimidated by my dad - he was overbearing, obnoxiously embarrassing, loud and always said the wrong thing at the wrong time. I had a major falling out with him maybe about 8 years ago and majorly told him off - he was wrong and I was an adult with a small child - something he could not accept. We did not talk for a long time. It changed my relationship with him from child to adult and then he took a fall off a horse he had just gotten back from the trainer and the resulting injuries nearly cost him his life - it took him a year to recover. I am very close to my dad now - I would not give up hope - a good relationship could happen. Of course, I am not saying, in any way, that will happen either but sometimes, life experiences happen and we all grow and mature and reflect.

Now my mom... that's a different story. I'm feeling very distanced and not so loving toward her.

BTW, I will be 45 this year - just saying because age makes a big difference. 20 years ago, I could not have had this same perspective.

 

[MagsC]

I am 45 as well. Maybe one day.
My mother on the other hand is wonderful.

 

[Hens_And_Chicks]

My mom would be more wonderful if she was not the Dear Abby gossip queen of Ohio. Her inability to be discreet, keep something mum and be a confidant just totally turns me off. She speaks at 120mph with gusts up to 200mph!

I firmly stood my ground and called out her bad behavior the Thursday before Mother's Day for the first time in my life and she hung up on me, refused to answer the phone when I immediately called back, sent me a very discouraging card filled with awful writing and has not spoken to me since. I think that is one of the hardest things I have ever experienced.

NOT backing down. At some point in our lives, we all have to accept responsibility for our behavior and how it affects others. And we need to be willing to change if necessary instead of pointing a finger of blame at someone else.

I'm glad you have a wonderful hubby - it makes all the difference.

 

[Cindiloohoo]

My relationship with my male parent is well...I call him my male parent..lol. He was alcoholic and abusive, I guess I forgot how to love him after that.

It stinks, but I have learned to live with it. I still talk to him, but never anything meaningful, and if he did not still live with my mom, I wouldn't waste my time with the meaningless banter. I reached the limit with him around age 6 or 7. Wanted to/tried to kill him when I was 8..but I fell asleep waiting for him to come home drunk. Got over it all when I was 30ish. I'm 33 now

He's just a person. I've learned to leave the emotion out of it to the point I feel nothing even if/when I try. Amnesia would make it better, but haven't had any luck with that

It kind of makes me wonder what I am missing out on...but it doesn't hurt if ya don't know I guess. It's just weird...he's just there, taking up space, sucking in air. I remember that I used to like him, but never really remember why. The memories of why not are still like it happened yesterday, any others are just blurry like a dream. I don't hate him anymore, he just basically exists...it's hard to explain, but I don't know how to try to have anything else, so I just try to be content.