Does anyone else refer to their inlaws as..

[debilorrah]

I can tell you that I really wish I had the chance to call Kens incredible parents my in-laws. They passed a few years ago, and it crushed him. I never had the chance to meet the people that gave me my love.

 

[tonini3059]

All his do is crush him. He does so much for them and they don't give him the time of day.

 

[debilorrah]

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That sucks!!! I know Kens parents weren't like that. They always treated his ex with respect, eventhough she never deserved it.

 

[Mourningdove]

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I had a simular issue years ago with my family.....I tried to please them and gain approval never happened. When I met hubby he told me not to try so hard and just live my life for us....... Guess what in my case it helped because the family saw I could do ok without them if I had to and then they were the ones to start trying

 

[luvmychicknkids]

I must share my "first meeting of the in-laws" story. Shortly before we got married my now hubby and I travelled to South Dakota so I could meet his parents. We pulled in to their yard, FIL runs out and grabs me as I was getting out of the car, squeezed me until I thought I would suffocate and kept telling me how wonderful it was to finally meet me. MIL (oh, first, I had requested to talk to her on the phone before meeting to get to know her, she said "NO, I don't want to pre-judge her badly") stayed in the LR sitting on the couch. We walked in, she hugged my hubby then circled me a couple of times like a wild dog. She stopped and said "I swear, if you ever hurt my son you will regret it for the rest of your life". Seriously, those were the first words this woman ever spoke to me. It has been downhill since.

 

[tonini3059]

That is how I feel about his grandmothers. One passed away before we met and his other one had a stroke while we were first dating and was paralyzed and lost her speech. They were more of a mother to him then his own. This year we were not invited to his sister's birthday dinner/ or anything. It was just going to be the mother fiancee the sister and her friend. Yet we had to spend $50 on a gc for her when we don't have the money and a week later another $50 on his mother. Yet if I buy something little for like $5 for my niece and nephew when they come over he gets mad because they don't "appreciate it" they are 4 1/2 and almost 3 and a 4 wk old baby but I don't get her anything obviously.

 

[Mourningdove]

sounds like a woman I wouldn't want to meet!

 

[tonini3059]

They were nice in the beginning I used to be his sisters friend. We were no longer friends 2 yrs prior to us dating and his mom pushed forit They would invite us out all of the time or over my husband would cook dinner over there. But as time goes on they got more distant for some strange reason it was not like there was any falling out of anything they just stopped asking us or coming over. During my bridal shower and wedding acted like we were a happy family and that they actually helped us out in any way. They just showed up for both events my mother husband and I did everything...which was fine by me but I had to bite my tongue when she took credit for everything be gorgeous.

 

[tonini3059]

Quote:
I had a simular issue years ago with my family.....I tried to please them and gain approval never happened. When I met hubby he told me not to try so hard and just live my life for us....... Guess what in my case it helped because the family saw I could do ok without them if I had to and then they were the ones to start trying

He gets super defensive if I say or suggest anything negative of them. Even when I suggested cutting back on our spending on them. He says it is his mother and his sister.

 

[lengel]

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I'm so sorry but my first response is a "that poor man" for your FIL. I can just picture a man who was thrilled to get his son into a loving relationship apart from his smothering wife's influence.

To be perfectly honest, my MIL ignored our marriage for the first ten years. Then she tried to set DH up with her tenant. I responded by ignoring her until she got sick and I became a caregiver. Now she adores me even though I'm not a caregiver anymore (she's in a nursing home). When I think back on it, I just shake my head and wonder what all that waste of energy was for anyway. Poor judgment? Just plain creepiness? Whatever.