Does anyone have children with Aspergers?

[aoxa]

Have you ever read House Rules by Jodi Picoult? It's wonderful.

http://www.jodipicoult.com/house-rules.html

Very informative. I only heard about Aspergers a few years ago, and I can think of a few classmates growing up that were on the spectrum.

 

[Bullet]

Quote:
That would be great, I am trying to get him set up with SSI now but there is so much I do not understand.. The social worker at school says he should have no problem with it especially since he as adhd and odd also.

 

[crossgirl]

There's a tv show called Parenthood which has a child character with Aspergers. The creators consulted with experts and from what I understand on message boards, they've portrayed him accurately. You may enjoy watching a family, albeit fictional, struggle and cope and celebrate their son.

 

[Bullet]

Quote:
I am right with you there. no one has threatend to call anyone on me yet, but spanking is a last resort we have not done that in forever. it doesn't work anyways. I had a toy crane machine that you could put candy in and stuff we would put video games and money in there and he got so many turns every day if he was good. that worked super well for a long time most of the summer. Now he is bored with it and we have to find something else for positive reinforcement. I love the challenge I really do. but sometimes the repititon is what gets me. that and we live with my mother in law and she undermines us lets Isaak do whatever he wants and that puts us right back where we started at points. she just oh makes me so mad somedays!!! I could just scream but I hold everything in and I don't want to disrespect her. Im not good with people either so sometimes I say the wrong thing and it just goes all wrong. it's a screwy situation here but talking to you guys helps

I have trust issues with people so I don't try to make friends I'm happy that way. everyday a new challenge arises. switching schools for him was one of the best things I could have done for him so far. now i just have to come up with a new plan with positive reinforcement. His therapist doesn't help us much he does not give us any ideas and his psy doctor thinks we should already know how to handle him and just put him on meds. but unless it's absolutely necessary I will not put him on any more meds. so it's basically us and the school working with him. and i am so thankful that the school is so supportive and have people that are trained to deal with the autisim students..

 

[EweSheep]

Quote:
I am right with you there. no one has threatend to call anyone on me yet, but spanking is a last resort we have not done that in forever. it doesn't work anyways. I had a toy crane machine that you could put candy in and stuff we would put video games and money in there and he got so many turns every day if he was good. that worked super well for a long time most of the summer. Now he is bored with it and we have to find something else for positive reinforcement. I love the challenge I really do. but sometimes the repititon is what gets me. that and we live with my mother in law and she undermines us lets Isaak do whatever he wants and that puts us right back where we started at points. she just oh makes me so mad somedays!!! I could just scream but I hold everything in and I don't want to disrespect her. Im not good with people either so sometimes I say the wrong thing and it just goes all wrong. it's a screwy situation here but talking to you guys helps

I have trust issues with people so I don't try to make friends I'm happy that way. everyday a new challenge arises. switching schools for him was one of the best things I could have done for him so far. now i just have to come up with a new plan with positive reinforcement. His therapist doesn't help us much he does not give us any ideas and his psy doctor thinks we should already know how to handle him and just put him on meds. but unless it's absolutely necessary I will not put him on any more meds. so it's basically us and the school working with him. and i am so thankful that the school is so supportive and have people that are trained to deal with the autisim students..

She would get bored with her toys within a week and can be distrustive that it would end up broken. She is frustrated in why I would not allow her to play on the computer because over and over again, i would let her play but the games she chooses were too highly action and could not figure out why she could not win all the time...I mean ALL the time. I always seeking out new positive reinforcements and either it goes thru or backfires on me. My daughter is on medication but in lowest dose possible to keep her brain from "speeding" out of control.

I also question the red food dye and fast foods which it CAN contribute some of the factors how she is feeling. Our counselors are using the Love and Logic methods but once my DD gets the gist of things, it would backfire on us because she can be very manliipulative and temper tantrums would go all out. Hubby's similar trait would be horrible for the both of them to get into it. As long he is very firm and not "picking on each other", they would go in harmony. For example, I had a hard time wrapping my head around about a subject that previous counseling told me to say this "NO ONE is leaving home"(to make her feel wanted and secure) when dd gets into her fits "I'm leaving home!" and hubby says " Go ahead but don't come back when you leave that door!" This counselor told me it is counterproductive because it IS what my dd wants me to say and created anxiety in herself and not knowingly, me which I didnt feel insecure but firm, trying to take control of the situation when dd could not go her way. Our present counselor advise us to say "You know, I am sorry you are leaving and we will be here when the police come and pick you up to take you home." Now THAT confuses me....what message are we trying to tell her it is OK to go out and walk in a neighborhood that is not safe and what will she be like once she is a teenager??????? I am not having her to go out "I'm leaving" every time she throws a fit and if you call on the cops or the cops keeps bringing her back, what kind of an example WE would make???

Hubby is getting himself assested and it is yet to be determined what exactly he has.

 

[loveacatahoula]

My 10 year old son has Aspergers and was diagnosed at age 3. I am extremely experienced in dealing with an Asperger's child now. If you have any questions or just want to chat PM me.

 

[zzGypsy]

a thought on the repeat repeat repeat behavior - if your son is telling you the same over and over, here are a couple of things to consider.

I tend to repeat my communications until I'm sure they've been understood. I don't need people to agree with me, but I *really*really* want them to understand my point. once I know that I've been understood, my anxiety level goes down and I can focus on addressing whatever's next. I know it can be kind of anoying, and as an adult I can decide if it's worth it to try to communicate something that's not getting across... but as a kid, I didn't have that ability - either to see what the problem was or to let it go. and to make it more difficult, I couldn't tell when people really had heard me, and when they hadn't, especially if they were annoyed, upset, angry, distracted. I needed eye-contact and a confirmation statement that echoed what I was trying to get across.

so, things that work with me, that might be worth trying with your son.

1) make eye contact and restate what he's said to you so he knows you understood. then follow up with a question to reinforce that you get it:
... kid: "birds decended from dinosaurs"
... you: "it's true, birds DID decend from dinosaurs. where did you learn that?"

2) ask for an expansion of whatever it is he's repeating:
...kid (for the 4th time): "birds decended from dinosaurs"
...you: "indeed they did. which birds do you think are most like dinosaurs?"

3) affirm, remind him you've already covered that territory, give him a learning mission:
...kid (for the 4th time): "birds decended from dinosaurs"
...you: "yes, that's true. we already talked about that. so tell me something NEW you learned about dinosaurs today?" "let's see if we can find out something you didn't already know."

Bring Me Something New was a game we played when I was growing up that I loved -
What new word did you learn today?
Tell me something you learned today?
What was the most (interesting, unusual, wierd) thing you learned today?

anyway, that might be worth a try... and I'd be interested to know how it works for you.

 

[Bullet]

Quote:
Thanks Gypsy I will try that. but his repetative things are more of coming up with a word like his favortie "99th Century" and repeats it over and over all day long. we tell him to stop and he just moves onto another word such as zero he loves numbers and that is what is really annoying. he is very curious and i think it's great. this morning started off with many questions about tires because we had to put air in the tire on the van.. so we talked about that for about a half hour lol I just wish we could make a mutual understanding that repeating words like that is not acceptable all the time I know he needs to do it that's part of him but I would just like to tone it down a bit ya know.

 

[Bullet]

Quote:
I am right with you there. no one has threatend to call anyone on me yet, but spanking is a last resort we have not done that in forever. it doesn't work anyways. I had a toy crane machine that you could put candy in and stuff we would put video games and money in there and he got so many turns every day if he was good. that worked super well for a long time most of the summer. Now he is bored with it and we have to find something else for positive reinforcement. I love the challenge I really do. but sometimes the repititon is what gets me. that and we live with my mother in law and she undermines us lets Isaak do whatever he wants and that puts us right back where we started at points. she just oh makes me so mad somedays!!! I could just scream but I hold everything in and I don't want to disrespect her. Im not good with people either so sometimes I say the wrong thing and it just goes all wrong. it's a screwy situation here but talking to you guys helps

I have trust issues with people so I don't try to make friends I'm happy that way. everyday a new challenge arises. switching schools for him was one of the best things I could have done for him so far. now i just have to come up with a new plan with positive reinforcement. His therapist doesn't help us much he does not give us any ideas and his psy doctor thinks we should already know how to handle him and just put him on meds. but unless it's absolutely necessary I will not put him on any more meds. so it's basically us and the school working with him. and i am so thankful that the school is so supportive and have people that are trained to deal with the autisim students..

She would get bored with her toys within a week and can be distrustive that it would end up broken. She is frustrated in why I would not allow her to play on the computer because over and over again, i would let her play but the games she chooses were too highly action and could not figure out why she could not win all the time...I mean ALL the time. I always seeking out new positive reinforcements and either it goes thru or backfires on me. My daughter is on medication but in lowest dose possible to keep her brain from "speeding" out of control.

I also question the red food dye and fast foods which it CAN contribute some of the factors how she is feeling. Our counselors are using the Love and Logic methods but once my DD gets the gist of things, it would backfire on us because she can be very manliipulative and temper tantrums would go all out. Hubby's similar trait would be horrible for the both of them to get into it. As long he is very firm and not "picking on each other", they would go in harmony. For example, I had a hard time wrapping my head around about a subject that previous counseling told me to say this "NO ONE is leaving home"(to make her feel wanted and secure) when dd gets into her fits "I'm leaving home!" and hubby says " Go ahead but don't come back when you leave that door!" This counselor told me it is counterproductive because it IS what my dd wants me to say and created anxiety in herself and not knowingly, me which I didnt feel insecure but firm, trying to take control of the situation when dd could not go her way. Our present counselor advise us to say "You know, I am sorry you are leaving and we will be here when the police come and pick you up to take you home." Now THAT confuses me....what message are we trying to tell her it is OK to go out and walk in a neighborhood that is not safe and what will she be like once she is a teenager??????? I am not having her to go out "I'm leaving" every time she throws a fit and if you call on the cops or the cops keeps bringing her back, what kind of an example WE would make???

Hubby is getting himself assested and it is yet to be determined what exactly he has.

Yes Isaak does the same thing, he picks games that are too far advanced for him and then gets mad when he can't win. and then he turns to us to play it for him. I don't know if in his little mind if he's trying to get us to pay attention to him that way or what. be also can be the leaving the house thing definitely doesn't sound like a good idea. mine is just the opposite he says he's never going to leave us. I am trying to plan a trip to Tn to see my dad and he can't put his mind around why I would want to go see my dad. I explain to him that I love my dad and when I can I want to see him. but he just doesn't understand. I don't know if he has a phobia that I won't come back. but I've been to TN 2 times since Januaray and he knows I will always come back. I always reinforce that I will never leave him. he has issues that he thinks we are going to leave him on the bus after school and things like that. I tell him over and over again that would never happen. but he just comes up with different scenarios.

 

[TriciaHowe]

My daughter (8 years old) was officially diagnosed last Wednesday with Aspergers and sensory issues (mostly lights and sounds). She can't tolerate even the most basic of rollercoasters (I'm talking like the ones my 3 yr old can go on), and only just last year we could go through a carwash with her. We start occupational therapy this week to help with her social issues and anxiety. Her social issues are that she is very naive and innocent and believes anything anyone tells her. She takes everything very literally and rarely "gets" a joke, she spends most of her free time outside with her snow shovel making paths in the yard or digging a hole that she started a couple of months ago. She gets frustrated but rarely has outbursts. More like she just starts crying because she doesn't understand how to do something. She is a straight A student in all subjects except for math which she is barely pulling a C. She was tested for gifted 2 years ago and barely missed. Her older sister has been in gifted since 1st grade (7th now). She is the only one of our 4 who has any of the tendencies that she does. We have known since she was very young that "something" was different but it's just now to the point where we felt the need for an official diagnosis and additional help for her.