Does wanting to live different mean I am such a mean mom?

[MamaRoo]

Quote:
Wow that one was a low blow. Are there actually people who think that way. Sorta sick.

I'm with you. Why rent a video game if that's what they all do at home? Your house comes with it's own fun. Send them out to pee on an electric fence or sumpin'.

 

[kareninthesun]

Quote:
x 100!

 

[dainerra]

Sorry that my post came off as harsh, but DEFINITELY there are people who do things to prove that they are better parents than you. My nephew, for instance, was 9 years old before he saw a commercial. They made the kids leave the room so they would not be so corrupted by the commercialism of the world. Ironically, both parents are in media/marketing. And I just got another dose today of "why we are better parents than you". Honestly, the child was an outcast at his conservstive christian school and I just don't know how he is coping in his new school in Santa Monica. And today I got a good healthy dose of "I am a better parent because I don't let my kids dwell in the material world"

I think what you are trying to instill in your kids is great, but it is a fine line to tread. Too restrictive and you end up with resentment or worse, a child who is unprepared for the adult world. For me, I ended up both. I've tried hard to learn from my mother's mistakes while keeping the lessons intact. Video games, television, cell phones are great tools and hobbies, but they should not be your life. The key is to teach children to use them wisely and to find their own amusements as well.
Denying access doesn't teach them nor does it instill the value of WHY moderation is important.

I do agree that one child at a time is easier. Let your son pick a friend and an activity he thinks the friend will enjoy. Your son knows them and their interests best.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Quote:
Wow that one was a low blow. Are there actually people who think that way. Sorta sick.

Not a low blow at all. You asked a question and you are getting answers from a people with various life experiences. If you choose to live such a completely different lifestyle that you know is a culture shock for 11 year olds you shouldn't be surprised that the kids didn't get into what you were doing. We're their remarks rude. Yes they probably were. But at 11 years old going to a party and having it so different I'm sure they lost track of their mouths. Not good but not surprising.

We have lots of video games here but we've never have the newest thing. My kids are total gamers. They are old enough to play mature games but when they weren't there were plenty of age appropriate games for them. Do they have cell phone? Why yes they do and they didn't get them till they were 17 because at that age they are so busy with school activities (yeah they know education comes first) they need them (pay phones have become a thing of the past). So yes they have a few techie things. But they are NOT addicted to them and they don't let them rule their lives either. Like diannerra said moderation is the key. My kids also are musicians playing in band and jazz band as well as at home and one in a trumpet choir. Both are honor roll students. Daughter made National Honor Society. So it is very possible to raise well rounded kids even if they do play video games and have cell phones. One of my gamers major is Wildlife Biology and the other who is still in high school (honor roll student) is playing his drums as I type this out (yes I can complete a thought while he plays lol).

Also I think kids need to have common interests or they aren't going to socialize well. When they have common interests it will open the door to discuss not so common ones and you'll find that one of his friends loves fossil hunting (my daughter loves going to her friend E's-they don't have cable tv-. her dad's a geologist and they have fossils all over their land to hunt). And the worst time in a kids life socially to be thought of as weird is in 6 to 8th grade. You said that if one had an interest you all get involved. So if tomorrow he came home and asked for a video game system because he was really interested in something like Mario Bros (totally age appropriate) would you even entertain the idea of at least renting a system occasionally.

 

[aubreynoramarie]

I think it's sad that denying an 11 year old video games is considered "culture shock".

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Quote:
I'll give testimony to this. We've had several birthday parties over the years with anywhere from 12 to 20 teenagers at once. They've brought their systems (the lastest ones) and linked them together and had a blast playing 8 players at a time. They played rockband and guitar hero in groups taking turns and had a blast. There's always a few that haven't played before and they laugh at themselves and the others the whole time. Also they've gotten out all the different percussion instruments and played together and had a blast. My son raps during free time in band and according to E he raps about school and band not drugs or ho's and they all crack up.

 

[OldGuy43]

The nice thing about exchanges like this one is, "Advice is like wine. It effects one only if taken."

Do I think you're a "mean" mom? No!

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Quote:
I think it's sad and stereotypical to think that those with cell phones are slaves to them, those who play video games will be addicted to them and that it is not possible to raise well rounded kids with many interests who can't take care of themselves or work as a team with others if they have those items.

 

[aubreynoramarie]

Quote:
I think it's sad and stereotypical to think that those with cell phones are slaves to them, those who play video games will be addicted to them and that it is not possible to raise well rounded kids with many interests who can't take care of themselves or work as a team with others if they have those items.

and i think its sad that you got all of that nonsense out of my one sentence.

 

[SarahBeth9394]

Quote:
I think it's sad and stereotypical to think that those with cell phones are slaves to them, those who play video games will be addicted to them and that it is not possible to raise well rounded kids with many interests who can't take care of themselves or work as a team with others if they have those items.

and i think its sad that you got all of that nonsense out of my one sentence.

I didn't. I went back to the original post that implied that. I only addressed it to you only to say "ya know we all see things our own way".