Dog turned predator - how do I convince my husband to get rid of it?

[nan4848]

You might point out to your husband that that dog is unable to defend anything, let alone himself, being chained up, which I recall was his reason for purchasing this breed and dog.

Dogs are pack animals. They need social contact. Keeping her chained and away from that contact is cruel.

 

[DYarbro97]

After reading all this, I have the solution. SSS your husband or retrain him. lol Hope it all works out for you

 

[Flock Leader]

You might point out to your husband that that dog is unable to defend anything, let alone himself, being chained up, which I recall was his reason for purchasing this breed and dog.

I have tried telling him this, but he maintains that the very presence of a barking dog is good against intruders and keeps us alert, and that her smell drives away predators. The only problem is that she herself IS a predator.

After reading all this, I have the solution. SSS your husband or retrain him. lol Hope it all works out for you

So do I. I'm just so frustrated.

I mean, I have two young kids, I'm pregnant, I've forgotten what it's like to sleep through the night without having to get up to pee, I'm in charge of packing all our stuff for the move, I provide drinks, snacks and lunch daily for workers on our building project, sometimes stay up late with husband working on the new cabin, AND I have to see my chickens being ripped apart? That's too much!

I could easily get shot of the dog by placing an online ad for giving her away, listing my number, then arranging for someone to pick her up while husband isn't home. And then just tell him she escaped and disappeared. I could. It would solve the problem instantly. But I really, really don't want to do things behind his back.

 

[bobbi-j]

I could easily get shot of the dog by placing an online ad for giving her away, listing my number, then arranging for someone to pick her up while husband isn't home. And then just tell him she escaped and disappeared. I could. It would solve the problem instantly. But I really, really don't want to do things behind his back.

You could. Unfortunately, it would also cause a whole new set of problems between the two of you if he ever found out.

 

[Flock Leader]

You could. Unfortunately, it would also cause a whole new set of problems between the two of you if he ever found out.

I know, and that's why I won't do it. Things like this kill trust.

By the way, a family near us used to have a Malinois. I think they made the same mistake - somebody told them, "this is the most alert and watchful dog, get him as a guard dog" - and they just couldn't handle him. At first they gave him a lot more training and exercise than our dog got, but eventually they slipped into the routine of not doing much with him. They both work full-time outside the home. Also, the dog was so energetic and strong that even their eldest, a 10-year-old, couldn't get near him. He was aggressive and had a very high prey drive. After he severely wounded one of the family's donkeys, they chose to re-home him.

They still wanted a dog, however, and didn't think their failure with the Malinois meant they don't qualify to ever have another dog again. They just figured they ought to choose a more suitable dog. Their new dog is a mixed I don't know what, just a big dog with shaggy white fur. They didn't give it any special training (just a few simple commands), but because it's much more docile they can let it in the house and the family's children, even the 3-year-old, can all play with it so it gets enough attention. This dog escaped and got into our yard not long ago, by the way, and startled the chickens, but when I got out and called it, it left the chickens alone and came directly to me. Not because it's so well-trained, but because its prey drive is much lower. I could get hold of its leash and take it home to its owners with no problem. I could control this dog, a large and heavy dog which I barely know, much better than our own dog.

So just saying. While I personally don't fancy having a dog at all, it IS possible to make things much better simply by choosing the right breed.

 

[nan4848]

Quote: You can have problems with any breed, especially if it doesn't get training, attention and love. And especially if one owner doesn't like dogs much and has her hands full with other things and the other owner is absent the majority of the time.

You and your husband should never have a dog until he is able to be present to provide training and care. Having a dog 'just because' it fills some whim of your husbands need to collect animals is extremely unfair to the animal. I'm getting a little annoyed now so that's all I'm going to say on this subject, because I don't think you get it, and you're going to allow another animal to go through the same thing through no fault of his own in the future. Certain breeds might be better for your family, but many can have a whole different set of problems if training, attention and love aren't provided. I don't know of any dog that would not chase a chicken unless he was taught not to.

Best of luck for your current dog..

 

[Flock Leader]

You can have problems with any breed, especially if it doesn't get training, attention and love. And especially if one owner doesn't like dogs much and has her hands full with other things and the other owner is absent the majority of the time.

Having a dog 'just because' it fills some whim of your husbands need to collect animals is extremely unfair to the animal. I'm getting a little annoyed now so that's all I'm going to say on this subject, because I don't think you get it, and you're going to allow another animal to go through the same thing through no fault of his own in the future.

I do realize you can have problems with any breed. However, deliberately choose an unsuitable breed and you are ASKING for trouble. It's like - to use an analogy - I could say to my best friend, "any relationship can fail, but this guy is a divorced heavy metal vocalist with a penchant for smoking pot and speed driving, why on earth did you start seeing him in the first place?! What made you think this is a good match?? Wouldn't you be better off with that guy you met in law school?"

It's not about me "allowing" anything. I can't "allow" or "forbid" my husband to get a dog. I don't control my husband. I can't even make him re-home this dog we have now, if he'd dead set against it, though I do hope to influence him. If, in the future, he is adamant about getting a dog again, I can't "prohibit" him from getting a dog. Actually if I try to do that he might have his way just to prove he can. If, however, I present a balanced view - not totally negative, not "no no no NO you are not getting a dog again" - he is a lot more likely to listen to me.

I'll give an example. I've mentioned that in the past, we had to re-home our goats. Recently my husband asked, with this wistful expression, if I miss having goats (I guess that's the old saying about absence making the heart grow fonder... he must have forgotten all the trouble we had...). So. I could say... "What? Are you thinking about getting goats again? Are you mad? Are you crazy? No way you're going to do this to me now, no no." I'm willing to bet that if I had said that, next week he'd drive over with a couple of goats in the back seat.

However, this is what I said: "I love goats, they are so much fun, I'd love to have some again someday. The milk was really something and I miss making cheese. However, remember the problems we had? We need a good sturdy fence over a fairly large area, you said you can't do it here and we're moving soon anyway. If we can't keep them safe on the property, the neighbors will complain again, remember the vegetable garden they demolished? And the flowers our other neighbors planted? We can't allow that to happen again. We also need good-tempered goats that don't mind being milked, not like that nasty one who tried to butt me all the time. So perhaps in the new house, once we are settled, we can look into this option again?"

And it worked. Once my husband understood I'm not totally against goats but am willing to look into the matter under certain conditions, he was much happier about co-operating with me. It's the same thing here. Look at the header of this thread again. I need to CONVINCE my husband, I can't MAKE him do anything.

 

[6of6chicks]

I do realize you can have problems with any breed. However, deliberately choose an unsuitable breed and you are ASKING for trouble. It's like - to use an analogy - I could say to my best friend, "any relationship can fail, but this guy is a divorced heavy metal vocalist with a penchant for smoking pot and speed driving, why on earth did you start seeing him in the first place?! What made you think this is a good match?? Wouldn't you be better off with that guy you met in law school?"

It's not about me "allowing" anything. I can't "allow" or "forbid" my husband to get a dog. I don't control my husband. I can't even make him re-home this dog we have now, if he'd dead set against it, though I do hope to influence him. If, in the future, he is adamant about getting a dog again, I can't "prohibit" him from getting a dog. Actually if I try to do that he might have his way just to prove he can. If, however, I present a balanced view - not totally negative, not "no no no NO you are not getting a dog again" - he is a lot more likely to listen to me.

I'll give an example. I've mentioned that in the past, we had to re-home our goats. Recently my husband asked, with this wistful expression, if I miss having goats (I guess that's the old saying about absence making the heart grow fonder... he must have forgotten all the trouble we had...). So. I could say... "What? Are you thinking about getting goats again? Are you mad? Are you crazy? No way you're going to do this to me now, no no." I'm willing to bet that if I had said that, next week he'd drive over with a couple of goats in the back seat.

However, this is what I said: "I love goats, they are so much fun, I'd love to have some again someday. The milk was really something and I miss making cheese. However, remember the problems we had? We need a good sturdy fence over a fairly large area, you said you can't do it here and we're moving soon anyway. If we can't keep them safe on the property, the neighbors will complain again, remember the vegetable garden they demolished? And the flowers our other neighbors planted? We can't allow that to happen again. We also need good-tempered goats that don't mind being milked, not like that nasty one who tried to butt me all the time. So perhaps in the new house, once we are settled, we can look into this option again?"

And it worked. Once my husband understood I'm not totally against goats but am willing to look into the matter under certain conditions, he was much happier about co-operating with me.

That's complete garbage. I'm sorry, but it is.

Your husband seems to get animals on a whim, with no thought to their care or welfare. That's cruelty and neglect. He's exactly like the people who pick out a puppy because it's cute without having given any thought to it's size, temperament, training, socialization, etc. It's awful and it makes animal-lovers crazy - BUT at least it is abuse based on ignorance rather than malice.

You, on the other hand, are fully aware of the fact that your husband does not properly care for his animals. Not only do you turn a blind eye towards your husband's neglect of the animal, but you BLAME the animal for its behavior and actively hate and abuse the animal. You use the excuse that it's "your husband's dog," so you have no moral obligation to towards its care or welfare. That is FAR worse in my book.

You need to grow up and take responsibility for what happens in your home. To stand by and allow animal abuse to occur because you don't want to get into a snit with your husband is sickening. Would you just stand by and let him treat one of your kids this way? Why is it okay to ignore neglect when it happens to a dog? Or, WORSE - why do you think it's okay to take YOUR anger and frustration out on the dog?

You're doing nothing but make excuses for animal cruelty because you just don't care enough to make it stop. Your thread title asked about how to "get rid" of the dog, not how to "re-home" it. That says a lot, right there. Frankly I'm starting to think all your excuses about not standing up to your husband is because deep down you WANT a punching bag. Hey, after all, it's just a dog, right? Not even worth rescuing from a burning building?

I'm sorry if you think I'm rude or attacking you, but blatant animal abuse makes me angry. I tried to be polite, sympathetic, and to understand your point of view. But all I can see is the NEXT dog cowering in fear when you finally lose it with that one too.

 

[6of6chicks]

It's not about me "allowing" anything. I can't "allow" or "forbid" my husband to get a dog. I don't control my husband. I can't even make him re-home this dog we have now, if he'd dead set against it, though I do hope to influence him. If, in the future, he is adamant about getting a dog again, I can't "prohibit" him from getting a dog. Actually if I try to do that he might have his way just to prove he can. If, however, I present a balanced view - not totally negative, not "no no no NO you are not getting a dog again" - he is a lot more likely to listen to me.

I want to clarify something. Your argument works great if you're talking about getting rid of an old sofa or trying to convince your husband to renovate the kitchen. Then, yes, decisions like that are best made together.

But we're talking about a dog that is living under intolerable conditions. A living, thinking, feeling, breathing creature that deserves to be treated with respect. In that situation, your argument is useless. No-one should ever stand by and watch cruelty happen just to keep the peace. That's not the kind of person I want to be. Is it really the kind of person YOU want to be?

 

[bobbi-j]

I think the OP is right in choosing her relationship with her husband over the dog. She is working on it. She's not just standing by letting it happen. Sometimes, though, you've gotta finesse your way instead of bullying and demanding. Now let her be, and let her deal with it in her way. I agree that the dog is living in sad conditions and needs a new home. You are not helping this problem.