Dog turned predator - how do I convince my husband to get rid of it?

[chammer70]

I hope you can find the dog a new deserving home, but there are not a lot of people who can't see past a dog being described as a "monster."
And I said a dog is better off being euthanized than living like that. That is no life at all for a dog especially, but any animal for that matter.
It really just sounds like you're resentful because your husband got a dog against your wishes and so you've chosen to hate it for that reason.
An animal is an animal, and just as innocent and helpless as a young child. The dog reaching out, jumping, whatever, is all in an attempt to interact and play
gain affection and obtain some human contact, which I can assure you is what this dog is dying for. Not to harm anyone. What a sad, sad situation
for this poor dog through no fault of its own. It's sickening, really.
We have three large rescued dogs and one son, now six. The dogs knocked him down, whipped him with their tails, knocked down his building blocks. On purpose? No.
Were they punished? No. We would herd them the other way until he got older and now he knows to watch out for whipping tails. Does he get mad at them? Yes.
Does he still love them? Yes. Because that is the behavior we've encouraged, not anger and hatred toward an animal who is only seeking affection and interaction
with their family.

 

[Flock Leader]

I do want to apologize for my earlier statement about whether or not you'd be willing to give up your chickens so he could keep the dog.

There is absolutely no need to apologize, I think your question was a legitimate one. In our case, I believe, it's not so much as who should give in but what is best for everyone involved (the whole family and all the animals).

An example: there was an adorable kitty who started coming here and I began feeding it. I really wanted to keep it. I also thought it might keep the population of mice under control. But my husband pointed out that the cat might hurt young chicks, so I agreed it can't stay, though I was disappointed. That's BEFORE the cat actually did anything to chicks. But the dog is allowed to kill chicken after chicken and still stay? It isn't fair.

 

[Flock Leader]

It really just sounds like you're resentful because your husband got a dog against your wishes and so you've chosen to hate it for that reason.

It really isn't so. I had a lot of misgivings about our previous dog, too, but once I saw what a great dog she is I could appreciate and like her. I was heartbroken when she died.

Also please remember my husband got a new puppy very soon after our previous dog passed away, it was too soon for me and I told him so, but he wouldn't listen.

But either way I didn't begin hating the new dog until she started killing chickens. The chickens weren't just livestock for me, they were my pets (like your dogs are your pets). How would you feel about an animal that hurts your pets on a regular basis?

 

[6of6chicks]

But either way I didn't begin hating the new dog until she started killing chickens. The chickens weren't just livestock for me, they were my pets (like your dogs are your pets). How would you feel about an animal that hurts your pets on a regular basis?

I would feel guilty and put the blame where it belongs - ON MYSELF - for failing to either train & socialize the dog properly OR for failing to keep the chickens safe and separated from the dog.

 

[chammer70]

All of our animals are considered our family, from our rats to our dogs. We do our best not to allow the potential for harm to come to any of them from each other. We have three large rescued dogs. One of them suddenly and unexpectedly killed our cat after six years of getting along fine. My husband's inclination was to shoot him, but I told him no, calm down and think about it first. That dog is his favorite and I knew he'd regret it. We talked to lots of people about it and everyone's response was the same: he's a dog. He's not a human. You don't know why it happened. True. We got over it. Before that, after two years of getting along wonderfully, the two male dogs suddenly developed a hate for each other. The pitt/mix will try to kill our mastiff/mix if given the slightest slip up on our end. So we have been on constant alert for the past three years, playing musical kennels, time in other areas of the house with us or muzzling him when we're all together. They are all three still showered with affection and love. We don't hate him. For some reason this has just come natural to him and he won't be swayed.

I realize there are people who feel like you do, but I've never been able to understand it. To us, we are as likely to get rid of an animal for "bad" behavior as we would our son. When your children are "bad," do you consider getting rid of them or do you find a way to deal with it, curtail it, or ignore it? The choice is yours, of course, but I'm just explaining to you, that's how people like me see situations like this. Basically, millions of dogs go to pounds and are euthanized for "bad" behavior just like this through no fault of their own. When it in fact is not bad behavior. It's simply the behavior of an unloved, unwanted, mistreated dog desperate for affection. It's heart-breaking.

 

[LauraSac]

Our German Shepherd mix has a strong prey drive. She's a great rat hunter, which I appreciate, but I would never let her near the chickens. Killing them wouldn't mean she's "bad" anymore than a cat killing a mouse is "bad." Our Pit Bull is calmest around our kitty and would probably do fine with the chickens, and our Chiweenie would bug them but he has a malformed mouth, so he couldn't harm them. With three dogs, though, it's just easier keeping them separate from the girls. If they're free ranging, the dogs have to be inside. Maybe once our German Shepherd mix goes to the Rainbow Bridge (she's 12), we'll train our other two to be around the chickens (they're both 3), but the chickens won't even free range if I'm not out with them, so they may choose not to interact with the dogs.

German Shepherds and Belgian Malinois are smart dogs who need a "job." They're naturally protective so people like them as guard dogs, but they love people. Being strictly outdoors doesn't work for most dogs, no matter the breed. And whether you keep it in or out, it needs training, which requires patience and consistency. We only adopt rescues, and it can be a lot of work, but it's worth it to me. If putting in time to train your dog isn't worth it to you or your husband, that's fine, but rehoming the dog probably is best for it. I don't know how to convince your husband, but maybe if he's concerned about what's best for the dog, maybe he'll consider it.

 

[bobbi-j]

You know, I really don't think it's necessary to beat up the OP anymore. She has a lot on her plate right now and does not need to be chastised for not liking a dog that she never wanted and doesn't feel comfortable trying to train. Her husband said he'd train it. He didn't. It's now a large, out of control dog. The husband still isn't trying to control it. Some of us do love our pets, yet place the people in their families above those pets. I consider myself a dog lover, but do not call myself the dog's mom, nor do I call my dog my fur-baby or my son's dog my grand-dog. Nope. They're dogs. I have real kids. I am their mom. When my boys were all still living at home we had a house fire in the middle of the night. My kids were 12, 14 and 17 at the time. Fortunately, we all got out. The dog did not. To be honest, it never even crossed any of our minds until morning. Why? We were too busy getting ourselves out. Two of the boys got down the stairs and out a door. My husband had to lower our youngest and myself out a window before he jumped. Would I have left that house with any of my kids still in it? Absolutely not! But I never even thought about the dog. I am comforted with the thought that he probably died in his sleep of smoke inhalation and didn't suffer, but frankly if I had to give up the dog or one of my kids, husband or myself, I'd give up the dog every time.

If I had a dog that "suddenly developed a hate" for one of my other dogs, I'd re-home one or the other. No, I wouldn't feel like I was giving away one of my kids. I'd feel like I was finding a better home for a dog, so we wouldn't have that threat hanging over our heads if they somehow accidentally got together. JMO.

 

[Flock Leader]

I would feel guilty and put the blame where it belongs - ON MYSELF - for failing to either train & socialize the dog properly OR for failing to keep the chickens safe and separated from the dog.

OK... that would be fair if the dog had been my "project" to begin with. But as you recall I was against getting one in the first place, and though I didn't understand about breeds, I warned my husband against getting a puppy, too. I can be around dogs, but I can't train dogs. Also, I can feed, water and care for chickens, but I can't dig in posts, install fences, enlarge the coop or do any such heavy jobs I normally count on my husband to do. So I really do believe the responsibility is his in this instance.

To us, we are as likely to get rid of an animal for "bad" behavior as we would our son. When your children are "bad," do you consider getting rid of them or do you find a way to deal with it, curtail it, or ignore it?

That's just the point: to me, it's very different. Even with an animal I love (and I admit I never loved this dog), it's not like they are part of the family. They are pets, which is a different place entirely. My 5-year-old has as much energy as the dog and messes up things a lot. I think if she went to school we'd be required to put her on Ritalin (in which case I'd probably continue to homeschool, BTW). Of course I would never give her up. But no, this dog isn't my child. Nor is she my husband's.

If we go through with this analogy, though, imagine your husband walks home one day with a baby in his arms. "This is my baby and you will accept him," he tells you flat-out. Like Catelyn Stark and Jon Snow. Didn't make for the greatest relationship ever. It never does when people/animals are foisted on each other.

If putting in time to train your dog isn't worth it to you or your husband, that's fine, but rehoming the dog probably is best for it. I don't know how to convince your husband, but maybe if he's concerned about what's best for the dog, maybe he'll consider it.

I completely agree and hope he does consent to re-home this dog. If our neighbor could take her in it would be best. I think it would be a kindness to the neighbor, too, because I know he's been all alone since his wife left him. He actually volunteers to walk and play with people's dogs.

When my boys were all still living at home we had a house fire in the middle of the night. My kids were 12, 14 and 17 at the time. Fortunately, we all got out. The dog did not. To be honest, it never even crossed any of our minds until morning. Why? We were too busy getting ourselves out. if I had to give up the dog or one of my kids, husband or myself, I'd give up the dog every time.

It sounds like a really horrible experience, thank God you were all able to get out. I wouldn't think about the dog either if my husband or kids were in danger. I felt terrible when our dog died, but it was not at all like I felt when my Grandma passed away last year. I think even trying to compare the two would be an insult to her memory.

 

[nan4848]

I am really feeling badly for that dog. I think from reading your story, you need to put your foot down with your husband and tell him to man up, and talk to that neighbor again about taking your dog. Personally I think he also owes you an apology for putting you in this situation. It can't have been a good place to be in your head when you've become so stressed you would throw rocks at a chained animal. Edited to add: you have every right to be spitting mad at him.

Your husband needs to stop being selfish/stubborn and do what's right for the dog. This should have been a decision between the 2 of you. It sounds as if he's not considering what's best for the dog. He clearly does not have time for the dog, so I get the feeling that although I'm sure he loves the dog, it's more of a power/ control thing with him over you and your feelings in keeping this dog, and he should be putting what's best for the dog first. But also what's best for you, as it sounds as if you are the primary caregiver and you are being stretched thin. Plus it seems neither of you have the least bit of understanding about the needs of dogs. And that is a criticism of the situation, not you as people. You don't know what you don't know.

You have your hands full with other pets and young children. I have told several people with young children, to think and research carefully before getting a puppy, kitten etc., but especially a puppy. It's like getting another child to take care of and if a person is ill equipped to handle the situation, emotionally, physically, financially they shouldn't get a pet. The pet always suffers, and animal shelters are loaded with them because of this. It's very sad.

 

[Flock Leader]

You have your hands full with other pets and young children. I have told several people with young children, to think and research carefully before getting a puppy, kitten etc., but especially a puppy.

I agree with you 100% and that was why we re-homed the goats.