Dog turned predator - how do I convince my husband to get rid of it?

[CrazyTalk]

This dog was never meant to be around chickens to begin with, but now that she's had her taste of blood I don't think she can ever be re-trained, even if my husband works extra hard with her (which he promised to do many times but never did).

Why can't you train the dog? The animal is living in your home - and you're married to him - it's as much your responsibility as his.


"Because I didn't want it in the first place" - isn't a valid answer.

 

[cmchickens]

I'm choosing not to comment about the dog situation at all, because it seems to have gotten way over blown. Rather I would like to give Flock Leader a head nod of approval at the way she handled all of the personal attacks and somewhat rude responses. I kept reading expecting you to lash out and lose your cool but it didn't happen. Way to remain rational and objective.

 

[Flock Leader]

Why can't you train the dog? The animal is living in your home - and you're married to him - it's as much your responsibility as his.


"Because I didn't want it in the first place" - isn't a valid answer.

Now, I realize I said I wouldn't be commenting on this thread until I have an update about the whole situation, but this is just too much.

My husband has kept an aquarium since before we met. As a bachelor, of course he was responsible for the feeding, the upkeep, and the cleaning. But when we got married, bit by bit he transferred this task to me. Now I'm always the one to feed the fish and clean the aquarium, and it is seen as a matter of course.

With our first chicks, my husband invested a great deal in their care. But now, his responsibility is mostly limited to buying feed once a month. He had built the coop, of course, for which I have to give him credit - I never could have done it myself. But the feeding, watering, egg collecting, running the incubator, taking care of young chicks, cleaning the coop, etc has been transferred to me.

Now, with the chickens and fish, I don't mind so much, because those are animals I love and the job isn't really that difficult. I won't make a fuss for the sake of doing so: "It was your aquarium to begin with! I never said I'd do all the work with the chickens!"

But with the dog?

Training a dog is hard work. You need to have a certain connection with dogs to do that. I'm not up to that. As some people have rightly observed, I'm not what is generally known as "a dog person". I can appreciate a good dog. I can be friendly with a dog that is already well-behaved. I can even acknowledge that our dog has some excellent qualities - she is very intelligent, affectionate and friendly. She is good around large animals, such as goats and donkeys. But I can't put her entire training upon my shoulders when my husband won't lift a finger.

This is a large, heavy and very energetic dog. I am wary of her, I don't have the authority and self-confidence required for training her and frankly, I don't like her. She easily knocks me off my feet, almost did so two days ago, in fact; not good, especially while I'm pregnant. This particular pregnancy was long-awaited and much prayed for. I'm not taking any risks because of this dog.

Finally, I don't want to be a dog owner; I don't think we need a dog, certainly not one of this breed, and I don't want to be saddled with the responsibility for one, especially as we're going to have a new baby soon. Sorry, but if nobody else considers what's already on my plate and how my lot can be made easier, then it's up to me to do so.

***

I do, as a matter of fact, have one teensy update, though it's not anything definite yet. My husband now seems more open to the possibility of re-homing the dog. Hopefully I can press this point so that she already has a new home by the time we move.

 

[vehve]

Glad to hear that it might work out best for both your family and the dog. I wish you strength.

 

[CrazyTalk]

This is a large, heavy and very energetic dog. I am wary of her, I don't have the authority and self-confidence required for training her and frankly, I don't like her. She easily knocks me off my feet, almost did so two days ago, in fact; not good, especially while I'm pregnant. This particular pregnancy was long-awaited and much prayed for. I'm not taking any risks because of this dog.

These are all reasons why YOU need to train the dog, not him. Him training the dog isn't going to make it respect you. You either need to put some effort in with the dog, or get rid of it.

If you don't DO SOMETHING, the dog is going to keep being dangerous, and probably get more dangerous.

 

[vehve]

These are all reasons why YOU need to train the dog, not him. Him training the dog isn't going to make it respect you. You either need to put some effort in with the dog, or get rid of it.

If you don't DO SOMETHING, the dog is going to keep being dangerous, and probably get more dangerous.

I would say that her intentions about doing something have been quite clear from the start. Not every person is suitable to have every breed. She has realized this. She want's to change the situation. She originally asked for ways to convince the dogs owner to get rid of it. Dogs of the breeds in question coupled with owners that are unsure around it make for a bad combination, I've seen it many times. So instead of berating her for not feeling up to the task of training a high maintenance dog in her current state, it would be a lot more useful if people would answer her original question. I'm sure she knows that she "is a horrible person" or "shouldn't be allowed to ever have a dog" in many peoples minds. Perhaps repeating the same mantra to her the n time won't change anything, even though I'm sure she would reply to the trash talk as politely and calmly as she has with the previous comments.

 

[CrazyTalk]

. She want's to change the situation. She originally asked for ways to convince the dogs owner to get rid of it.

You're missing the point. She IS the dog's owner.

If the dog is dangerous, she needs to get rid of it (or train it), whether or not her husband agrees. If he can't handle her getting rid of the dog because it's dangerous, then she needs to leave, because shes not in a safe situation, and every day that she continues to be around this dog without training it, shes putting herself in increasing danger.

 

[dashenka28]

It's very simple, train your dog or separate and secure your chickens. German shepherd dogs and especially Belgian malinois are working dog breeds. Meaning if you own a working line shepherd they will most likely have a high prey drive and needs to be properly trained and redirected as well as constantly stimulated with plenty of cardio. Long walk does nothing. You tied up your dog and let your chickens free range. Want to protect your house? Get a gun, no need to feed or walk it. I feel sorry for you, that dog will turn on you because of the way you treat her.

 

[6of6chicks]

Hello again,

I can't believe I'm going to come in in DEFENSE of the OP, but here goes. You see, I saw the thread was bumped again, so I decided to take a look at the conversation (I was curious where it went). Naturally, I got extremely frustrated and upset all over again by the OP's stance. I just kept wondering WHY the OP couldn't see what looks to me to clearly be animal abuse. So I decided to look at some of her former threads - because honestly I've just been really upset by this and wanted to get a better sense of who the OP is.

This is JUST based on what I read in previous threads, but the OP is an Orthodox Jew living in Israel. When I read that a light bulb went off in my head. I was involved with a Russian Old Believer for a while (almost married him). For those unfamiliar, that's similar to Russian Orthodox (although they split long ago), and is more than a religion - it is a culture, a heritage, and a way of life. The beliefs and traditions that guide everyday life are very clear, and to him they were accepted, valued, and completely normal. To me, they were strict and suffocating because I grew up with a different set of beliefs. One of the main reasons my former fiancée and I split was due to cultural differences, including attitudes towards dogs. To me, dogs are like my children. They give me kisses and cuddle with me on the couch. To him, it was offensive and revolting that I even let them in the house. Neither of us was right or wrong - it was just a difference of perspective based on completely different cultures and backgrounds.

Now, I know NOTHING about Orthodox Jews and I am NOT making any claim that I know anything about the OP and her culture or beliefs. I am not even saying that culture or religion has anything to do with how the OP feels about her dog. I'm simply saying that when I realized the OP lived in an entirely different country it was like a splash of cold water on my face. I knew this forum was international, but it's SO easy to forget that when you're just typing away to people who don't even go by their real names. I was coming at this thread with the assumption that she was an average American who could be living down the street from me - similar backgrounds and attitudes. That was an assumption on my part and where I went wrong. Not only that, it was biased and unfair.

I didn't come to the US until I was 10, and as an adult I have travelled quite a bit and spent five years teaching in multicultural classrooms. You'd think I would be more culturally sensitive, wouldn't you? But I got wrapped up in seeing this from the dog's perspective and saw it as straightforward animal abuse. I still stand by everything I said about how the dog probably feels, but the overall picture isn't that simple. Dogs are viewed differently all over the world. Growing up my next door neighbors used to raise dogs for barbecue - totally normal in their family. So who am I to tell the OP about how she should feel about the dog? She lives halfway around the world, and expecting her to view dogs the same way I do is more than a little arrogant (even for me, lol!).

To the OP - I'm sincerely sorry for having judged and criticized you. I wish I had known more about you in relation to your situation before having commented. I still don't understand your perspective regarding the dog and I'm not sure I'm even capable of seeing it your way, but I respect the fact that you may simply see dogs differently than I do. No amount of arguing on my part can change that, and it's not right for me to even try. I do hope you find a new home for the dog, for your health and happiness as well as the dog's.

 

[bobbi-j]

You're missing the point. She IS the dog's owner.

If the dog is dangerous, she needs to get rid of it (or train it), whether or not her husband agrees. If he can't handle her getting rid of the dog because it's dangerous, then she needs to leave, because shes not in a safe situation, and every day that she continues to be around this dog without training it, shes putting herself in increasing danger.

No. SHE is not the dog's owner. She is married to a man who brought the dog into the family (along with other animals at other times) without asking her first. She is not confident or knowledgeable enough around dogs to train it. That would be a train wreck. She is pregnant. From what I've read, far enough along to easily lose her balance and not be very agile (have you ever been in that situation, Crazy Talk?). You are not in her situation. You are not married to her husband. You don't know how best to handle her situation and keep any amount of peace in the family. No, she does not "need to leave" if her husband can't handle her getting rid of the dog. She needs to handle things as she sees best in her situation. You're not going to change her mind about training a large, out of control dog by continuing to criticize her and tell her what YOU - someone who really has NO IDEA of what she's dealing with - thinks is best. Have a nice day.