Checking in. Glad you feel a little more peaceful. Definitely focus on your chickers! I call mine my "Cheep therapy".
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers!
Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers!
Don't think my chicks can save me from this...
- Thread starter Morgan7782
- Start date
Morgan we are here for you.
Kate
Kate
- Thread starter
- #23
update: just got a call from my mom, they are in oakland with my brother right now. he is still in critical condition BUT he is still alive. the bullet did NOT hit his heart, but it missed it by 1/18th of an inch.. Talk about something crazy.. The bullet ricocheted around his chest and tore his lungs up pretty bad, so he has a chest tube thing in right now. i am glad i stayed home, not sure how i would handle that sight.. so i am home with the animals, giving them extra love, and they are making me feel better. not so alone even though everybody is gone to oakland. thank you all for everything, i will keep everything updated.
If he is at the same hospital as my BIL was, he is getting amazing care. They saved my BIL's life a couple of years ago, brought him back after a heart attack (he died on the table). So, you should feel confident that they are doing all that they can.
It is totally all right for you to be angry at him. What he did was incredibly short sighted and selfish. I am sure that he was in a lot of emotional pain, but his act will have ramifications that will be felt for years. You can be angry, you can be sad, you can be frightened - you feel however you need to right now. But, don't you dare feel guilty. This was not preventable by anyone except your brother. If someone had been there, he would have just put it off. It was obviously thought out.
Most of all, I am just so sorry that you are going through this right now.
It is totally all right for you to be angry at him. What he did was incredibly short sighted and selfish. I am sure that he was in a lot of emotional pain, but his act will have ramifications that will be felt for years. You can be angry, you can be sad, you can be frightened - you feel however you need to right now. But, don't you dare feel guilty. This was not preventable by anyone except your brother. If someone had been there, he would have just put it off. It was obviously thought out.
Most of all, I am just so sorry that you are going through this right now.
Morgan I am so sorry you and your family must go through this. Please try your best not to "what if" because there are no answers to those questions. You have the right to be angry and also the right to not know what the feel or think at this time. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, acknowledge it and move forward, one step at a time. I understand your staying behind and it is a wise decision you have made to not place yourself into a situation you cannot handle just yet. Enjoy the company of your chickens, talk to them because they are good listeners, calm yourself and breathe deeply. Then you can began healing and putting things into perspective.
I will keep you, your family and brother in my prayers, especially his children. Keep us posted and always feel free to post your feelings...anger or sadness or joy. We do listen and we do care.
I will keep you, your family and brother in my prayers, especially his children. Keep us posted and always feel free to post your feelings...anger or sadness or joy. We do listen and we do care.
- Apr 15, 2009
- 6,770
- 238
- 281
Sending healing thoughts your way. As the child of an alcoholic who committed suicide, I can completely understand your feelings. I'm so sorry for you and your family. Take care.
- Thread starter
- #28
thank you very much i am glad i have a place to come to, and the learning is great. But it's a nice community too, thanks a lot guys
update: brother made it through the night. the kids were at the hospital with my parents and some other siblings. they will be coming here today, and spending the day/night with me. my neice needs a break from the hospital, and she has a school project to finish (her choice) about dog fighting. It is a wonderful book made by her about dog fighting, why it is bad, and the bad rep pit bulls get. she is so passionate about it that even through this she wants to finish the project. she isn't talking too much about her dad right now, which I am letting her get over a bit of shock before I expect she'll talk more. but she IS talking about other subjects, and even managed a laugh at a chicken story I told her yesterday. she is excited to see how big the girls are, and I am surprised she is so.. normal seeming. she is doing better then I was! or seems to be. probably not true inside. the 5 year old is freaked out that his dad will die (he is VERY smart..) but understands that his dad coming this far along at this time is amazing. so hopes are good.
you all's words meant so much to me, and are helping me get through this. the many chicken stories, and just life stories on BYC are wonderful reads. I am PROUD to be part of this group, and proud to say "I have a group that knows COMPASSION"
thank you
update: brother made it through the night. the kids were at the hospital with my parents and some other siblings. they will be coming here today, and spending the day/night with me. my neice needs a break from the hospital, and she has a school project to finish (her choice) about dog fighting. It is a wonderful book made by her about dog fighting, why it is bad, and the bad rep pit bulls get. she is so passionate about it that even through this she wants to finish the project. she isn't talking too much about her dad right now, which I am letting her get over a bit of shock before I expect she'll talk more. but she IS talking about other subjects, and even managed a laugh at a chicken story I told her yesterday. she is excited to see how big the girls are, and I am surprised she is so.. normal seeming. she is doing better then I was! or seems to be. probably not true inside. the 5 year old is freaked out that his dad will die (he is VERY smart..) but understands that his dad coming this far along at this time is amazing. so hopes are good.
you all's words meant so much to me, and are helping me get through this. the many chicken stories, and just life stories on BYC are wonderful reads. I am PROUD to be part of this group, and proud to say "I have a group that knows COMPASSION"
thank you
Quote:
It sounds like your niece is dealing with this in her own way, she does not want to "think of the what ifs" so she is concertinaing on what she can do, and feeling mad at your brother is normal suicide is a easy out for those who do it, they some how convince themselves that the people that they love will be better off without them, I have always told my children that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem unfortunately my children have had friends that did commit suicide, and it hurt, I hope and pray your family will find your way through this mess and maybe things will now get better once your brother is better physically then they will work on the mental issues, I am praying for you and and your family. and yes sometimes in grief the best thing to do is keep your mind busy and doing something physical will help wear out the body to allow you some much need rest. keep us posted I will check this post all this weekend. and one other thing if your niece does not want to talk about her dad then let it go but if she does just let her vent her feelings having someone to just listen is very important at this stage. and the 5 year old will more then likely have some temper issues as he goes through this process. Good luck to you and your family.
It sounds like your niece is dealing with this in her own way, she does not want to "think of the what ifs" so she is concertinaing on what she can do, and feeling mad at your brother is normal suicide is a easy out for those who do it, they some how convince themselves that the people that they love will be better off without them, I have always told my children that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem unfortunately my children have had friends that did commit suicide, and it hurt, I hope and pray your family will find your way through this mess and maybe things will now get better once your brother is better physically then they will work on the mental issues, I am praying for you and and your family. and yes sometimes in grief the best thing to do is keep your mind busy and doing something physical will help wear out the body to allow you some much need rest. keep us posted I will check this post all this weekend. and one other thing if your niece does not want to talk about her dad then let it go but if she does just let her vent her feelings having someone to just listen is very important at this stage. and the 5 year old will more then likely have some temper issues as he goes through this process. Good luck to you and your family.
So sorry this has happened to your family, just sending good thoughts your way.
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