Family Matters...

[dichotomymom]

Redhen, that is exactly like our family's situation. My Dad adopted my brother (our mom got left at the alter by my brother's dad when she was pregnant). My brother was never told and found out when he enlisted. He probably has other siblings that he missed out on knowing not to mention having been told of his medical history from that side of the family. People forget that there is a slew of things that adopted kids miss out on (even if they've been adopted by great people).

 

[Dar]

I had a whole thing typed out... and then i deleted it... cause i dont want to start an issue......

until you have walked a mile in someones shoes and are in their position you have no idea how they feel.... When you know a part of you is missing there is an urge to find it... sometimes it works out for the good ..sometimes it works out for the bad.

should she look for her sister?.... yes if thats what her heart is telling her to do...
should she "out" her dad"?...No its not her laundry to air

if you do look for her .. remember to base your actions on what your heart feels and not for some revenge against dad for being a deadbeat...
and always remember the very thin line of your feelings vs. theirs, sometimes adoptees dont want to be found

 

[FarmerChick]

be careful and move slowly

you could destroy alot of lives


from what I read a few people want to destroy others lives...whether they had anything to do with situations or not.
that is just so wrong. revenge is the worst. it ruins many for selfish reasons.

all the feelings you feel, throw them on the other person.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Excuse me, are you calling ME selfish? I really hope not.. you have ALOT of nerve to judge someone..

 

[smileyfacecat]

I understand where all of you are coming from and I have been asking myself the same questions for many years, and I always come up with the same answer, because she's my sister. Just because she is my half-sister doesn't make her any less of a sister to me - I will love her no matter what.

She did not choose to be put up for adoption, and I just want to let her know that if she wants a relationship; we are here for her. If she chooses not to reconnect with our family, I completely understand, and we will be no worse for the wear - but at least I know that I tried. Maybe, just maybe, she has been looking for us too.

This is not for "revenge" against my father, true he is a deadbeat, but he has always been that way - i know him as nothing different. He has never been there for any of us. Just because he doesn't want a relationship with her doesn't mean I can't have one. That is why I feel it is important to let Rebecca know that she does have a connection to her past, her heritage, her family. If she has any questions about health concerns or wants to find other members I can help her. I would never want to 'destroy' her relationship with her adoptive family, never ever has that been my intention. We will accept her for who she is.

I don't believe my age has anything to do with this. Just because I am 19 doesn't mean I have cruel intentions. I understand that none of you do know me and may question my intentions, but I assure you I only have pure intentions.
I have contacted Troy Dunn, but never heard back. I might consider doing it again.

Thank you for all of your opinions; they are appreciated - positive or not. It helps me see my own situation without bias.

Dev

P.S. Please don't fight, everyone has a right to their own opinions/feelings. No two people will ever be in the same situation, and it's not nice to judge anyone especially when not knowing their circumstances.

[Edited due to spelling errors.]

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Smart kid..

 

[FarmerChick]

Quote:
Excuse me, are you calling ME selfish? I really hope not.. you have ALOT of nerve to judge someone..

Did you think it applied to you?

I am saying revenge is not sweet, for anyone involved.
revenge is selfish in itself....people think about their reasons for revenge never considering others at all.

there were many comments in this thread that could account for why I posted my post. I am not judging. Stating some thoughts as I saw them.

 

[redhen]

Quote:
Excuse me, are you calling ME selfish? I really hope not.. you have ALOT of nerve to judge someone..

Did you think it applied to you?

I am saying revenge is not sweet, for anyone involved.
revenge is selfish in itself....people think about their reasons for revenge never considering others at all.

just my view on it

I have no clue who you meant it for..why not be woman enough to just say it? You must like to play games or something..

yet you judge others?

Personally, what you or anyone else thinks means nothing to me.. I just cant stand cowards that hide behind their words.. say what you mean..and who you mean it for..

 

[purr]

don't worry about the half sister thing thing ,I have a half sister and a half brother and couldn't love them more if we had shared both parents. My sister in law is always saying my brother and I should be twins even though I am 15 years older we share many traits.
I would go slowly so you don't scare her but she does have a right to know you if that's what she wants. You don't know she may be out there looking for you right now.

 

[FarmerChick]

If you think what I said applies to you ---then it is you saying it is so.
make your own judgements off my post.

and I am not starting anything with you in an open thread. ain't going there.
I am not judging. If I wanted to come straight at a person and say something about their post I would have.
A few things being said throughtout this thread combined made my post.