Alright, I have a .... dilemma. I am going to be attending Christmas dinner at my aunt's house, and I think the family should know a 'secret' that has been kept for the past 42 years. I just don't know if I should bring it up on Christmas - there's nothing quite as memorable as dropping a bomb shell on a holiday.
On the other hand, it is the only time of year that I can talk to them all in the same room.
Heres the deal; my [deadbeat] father (my aunt's brother) had a child with a girl when he was sixteen - roughly 42 years ago. The child's name is/was Rebecca. I have heard two different stories about said child, but not sure which if either can be believed. My father told my mom that he married Rebecca's mother than the marriage was annulled and shortly after Rebecca's second birthday, the mother had a psychotic break and Rebecca was given up for adoption.
Then there is the story that I heard, from my Aunt - who at the time of Rebecca's birth was only seven years old. I was told that Rebecca's mom was sent to an unwed mothers home, and Rebecca was given up at birth. I am so confused at this point, I don't know where to look. I don't even know if her name is or ever was Rebecca. The only common factor I have is I know she had been adopted at some point.
Any who, no one else, besides my aunt and my mother, knows about this child. I feel they have a right to know, and so does my aunt but she doesn't know how to approach the matter. It's pretty much up to me to tell my cousins that they have a family member they have never met, and is almost as old as their mother.
The reason I am writing/ranting, is because I feel kinda lost. If I tell them, I could make the evening, well kinda, depressing. On the other hand, I could tell them and get their hopes up and find her, only for her not to want to be a part of our family; crushing them. I could continue go at it alone but I am afraid I won't get far. I thought about hiring a P.I. but I don't have the funds or the time to do that.
I need help but I don't know how to ask for it.
What would you do in this kind of situation?
Heres the deal; my [deadbeat] father (my aunt's brother) had a child with a girl when he was sixteen - roughly 42 years ago. The child's name is/was Rebecca. I have heard two different stories about said child, but not sure which if either can be believed. My father told my mom that he married Rebecca's mother than the marriage was annulled and shortly after Rebecca's second birthday, the mother had a psychotic break and Rebecca was given up for adoption.
Then there is the story that I heard, from my Aunt - who at the time of Rebecca's birth was only seven years old. I was told that Rebecca's mom was sent to an unwed mothers home, and Rebecca was given up at birth. I am so confused at this point, I don't know where to look. I don't even know if her name is or ever was Rebecca. The only common factor I have is I know she had been adopted at some point.
Any who, no one else, besides my aunt and my mother, knows about this child. I feel they have a right to know, and so does my aunt but she doesn't know how to approach the matter. It's pretty much up to me to tell my cousins that they have a family member they have never met, and is almost as old as their mother.
The reason I am writing/ranting, is because I feel kinda lost. If I tell them, I could make the evening, well kinda, depressing. On the other hand, I could tell them and get their hopes up and find her, only for her not to want to be a part of our family; crushing them. I could continue go at it alone but I am afraid I won't get far. I thought about hiring a P.I. but I don't have the funds or the time to do that.
I need help but I don't know how to ask for it.
What would you do in this kind of situation?
