Family rant about my animals

[Sierra pachie bars]

My father- in - law watched the kids for us a few days ago. My kids hate him coming over but since I have no family of my own, my husbands family is all I have. I do need to find a local person I trust to babysit.. Anyways when we got home he came up to me and said " so how many quails do you have in there ?" I said "I don't know 26 or so. " A few are my friends although I didn't explain that they were not all mine because frankly I should not have to explain myself to him. He then looks at my husband and says that we are going to far. And that he has heard about some man who like me had alot of animals and went to jail and past that point I was mad and ignoring him. My father - in - law is a grumpy rude old man, who can't seem to be nice to anyone. Yet my husband won't stand up to him. I was insulted that he would decide it was up to him to tell me how many animals I should have. I figure if I take care of them and they are healthy then nobody has a right to say anything. Also I have health issues. I am in constant pain , it is wrong that these animals give me joy ? If not for them I would have no reason to do anything but lay around. My chickens , ducks , quails, and my dogs and cats give me such joy and although they don't make my pain go away they bring me joy and I am able to go day by day.

Now my father - in -law is the same guy that calls me a gripple , and rolls his eyes when I have issues walking. Because he can't get past how I look ok. He never ever asks how I am doing and NEVER ever calls to see if I am ok or do I need anything which he shouldn't have to but it sure would be nice. I barely make it day thru day doing basic stuff normal people don't think twice about, yet he can't be bothered. He is to focused on my husbands brothers family. Which happens to be the brother who does do crimes I won't get into.

Also my father-in -law has the nerve to say something about me having to many animals yet he raids my fridge and takes all my eggs. A min. of at least 2 dozen a week. Any double yokers he takes which I find it rude he goes in my fridge and takes what he wants without asking.

Anyways I needed to vent because my husband won't let me talk about it without him getting all mad.

 

[Judy]

You and your husband, or just you, should consider a counselor! These are serious problems and will only get worse if not addressed.

 

[bawkbawkbawk]

I sympathize.

There's a book called "Living Well with a Hidden Disability" that you may find helpful. The author's last name is Taylor. It can be very demoralizing to live in pain while others insist that you "look fine".

Sounds like your FIL is a very unhappy person and sees you as a target. Maybe your husband needs to be reminded that if he can't stand up to FIL he at least needs to stand up for you.

 

[Picky Chicky]

I have crazy in-laws... I totally feel your pain. Hang in there!!

 

[Davaroo]

Ah, the joys of a crabby old curmudgeon in the family!

Makes you wonder, too, that if "the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree," and he IS your husbands father, well........

 

[Whispering Winds]

I have a brother like that; breaks my heart as we are all older now, and I want all of us to get together if and when we can, and enjoy the time. But, bb insists on tearing everyone apart that might be mentioned in a casual conversation, has no sympathy for other family members who are ill or having issues, and I can't see this man being any better as he gets older as he is 71 now. I stopped by to see him one day a few months ago, to tell him that our brother-in-law had prostate cancer and while it wasn't getting to him, he was not feeling well . . . he ranted and raved about how if he got off his butt and did something , maybe he woulnd't feel too bad. My dh is a very quiet man, never says much to anyone, but this time he DID say something. Our bil is 83, he has the right not to feel too perky somedays, and he does get out and do things . . .just not like he use too. I was standing there looking at db thinking, I have NON-RELATIVES I can go talk too, that can make me feel bad. I shouldn't have to stand here and listen to you. So, we left. I love him dearly, but I simply cannot stand negativity like that. We are all just trying to get along the best we can . . .sorry that your fil is such an old crab . . .hide those double yokers, and I mean it, or find your backbone and tell him NO more. You are saving them for someone special . . . and then say ME!! Your dh has probably dealt with this grouchiness by saying nothing all those years, its how we deal with family members like that, because the rage that is displayed if we try to interject something NICE and non-combative is not worth it. . .good luck, and don't be afraid to stand up to him in a good respectful way. . .keep us posted too, on what transpires. Hug your hubby, he may have been fighting this battle a whole lot longer than you have. Sorry you are also not well; have you been diagnosed with an ailment?

 

[monarc23]

my mom could relate to you completely! She has lupus among other things and her outward appearance to others they look at her like she's lying EVEN doctors do. It's disgusing and rediculous and sometimes resorts my mom to tears because no one can understand her pain. She just warned me tonight that if I hear her screaming, not to get scared because it's more than likely just her knee locking up again.

ignore that JERK or tell him how it is. I know my MIL gets told how it is when she nebs into my business. My hubby is a mamas boy I guess you could call it, he treats her like she can do no wrong, however when she offends or gets in my business I am right there to tell her WHY I dont appreicate it etc. She no longer nebs because she knows she won't get anywhere with me.

 

[Sierra pachie bars]

Thank you all

I need to learn to stand up to him myself. He does seem so unhappy. He is just one of those people that just finally people don't want to be around. He isn't just mean to me and my kids he is also mean to my dogs. He constantly calls my service dog a dumb dog. Which really ticks me off. Only thing he knows is the dog does " cripple " stuff. He never has cared enough to even know what he does ! I often warn my husband if he starts acting like this father I won't put up with it. My husband says he is going to have a chat with him because I am not only one saying things about him being so rude and awful. I guess everyone has same complaint other then the one Brother who is is nice to and his two daughters. My sister -in-law is a delight and we get along great. In fact she has Lupus so we talk alot and call eachother often because we 100% understand eachother so much.

I am sure once my husband talks to him he won't change. Some people are just bitter bisquits regardless. I also told Hubby he won't get anymore eggs unless he stops being such a grump.
I do agree he sees me as a easy target but I just am sick so often I have no energy to speak up.

 

[monarc23]

Quote:
Yes keep those eggs from that grump, if he can't treat you with respect your family with respect and your animals with respect (also family) then he doesnt diserve the wealth of it!

I hope things get better very soon!

 

[Boyd]

Quote:
How about using a little backwards psychology with your FIL? Ask him if he would like to see where the eggs come from? Not sure if that will work, but if he seems the lonely miserable type, then he might like to spend time with you and learn about your hobby. As far as being a target, I know what that's like. My wife has Fibromyalgia and when we had to switch doctors because of insurance, her new doc told her that that is a made up disease.