The essence? I guess that's different for each woman but many of the characteristics one looks for are basically the same...that's why the romance movies and books are so successful, they feed into the dream of the "perfect" mate/male but in reality there are none. We aren't perfect either, so that's okay.
I've always wanted a man who was wise. For, if he is wise, he will have~ or work to develop~ all the other traits that are so very valuable in a man~or woman, for that matter.
This pretty much describes everyone's "perfect guy".....everyone run over to Sarah's house, kidnap her fella and rush him to the cloning lab. STAT!
I'll add to that list: Godly, tender-hearted, strong, sensitive, smart, humorous, honorable, respectful of women, clean, good father, good husband, good friend, good neighbor, good employee, gets up when he falls, helps me up when I fall, understanding, and not self-absorbed...really looks at you when you talk and engages in the subject matter~no matter how many times he might have heard it, because you do the same for him. Kisses you even when not working up to physical intimacy. Tells you he loves you every day and really means it. His face lights up when you come in the room, no matter how many years you are together.
He doesn't complain about you at work and you can't think of anything to complain about him at work either. He truly is your friend and worries about what you might think of something, because that's what friends do, but also is the man of the family and is strong enough to lead it on right pathways, not giving into the weaker intentions of a woman or the kids, but goes where God would have him lead.
He sees what needs to be done before you mention it, because he is observant~in other words, you won't need to nag him because he is working one step ahead of you. He also expects the same of you, because that's how a partnership is....both working together, but also independently. He allows you to be who you are, because that is who he married, but he also shows you who you could be when equally yoked with him and going in a single direction.
In other words, he's a dreamer and he takes you along into those dreams and even wants to go along in your dreams, as long as they are both of a godly endeavor. You can walk, work and love side by side without worrying about who has the upper hand....God does, then your husband because you can trust him to have it, then you, because he trusts you to carry what he cannot.
He's a joy to work with, live with, travel with, sleep with, have intimacy with, have kids with, have a meal with, go through hard times with, go through joyful times with, worship with and have a life with. That's the perfect "rooster" for me.