For all of you with mr wonderfulls..

[random]

something to note too...have u ever noticed that the things that seem important change with ur age and as ur life expands? i think that the world is change...and a good partner will change with u and not against/away from u...look at when ur young...what was important then and top of the list? what is at the top now u have houses, kids, pets, jobs, bills? i used think affection was really really important....turns out its not...he doesnt have to cuddle me 24/7 for me to know he loves me...in fact thats changed altogether! id rather him wash dishes then give me a hug! lol ive also noticed a trend in females...i guess males too...take the relationship u have with the most important male (female) influence uve had in ur life...be it dad, step dad, brother...as long as its the main male u had growing up...now this relationship quite often determines ur ideal partner...i.e good relationship with dad? ull look for similar qualities....bad relationship? ull look for opposite qualities...however its not a rule of life just a recurring factor ive noticed. also u should take into consideration that we are animals after all and our breeding instinct plays a part too...u might pick a guy opp. u to give ur offspring a better gene makeup..i.e best of both worlds...or u may pick some1 similar cuz ur instinct says u've got the best and strongest gene, so to ensure strong offspring u mate with the same type...in the end humans...and every other animal need some1 somewhere at sometime...its instinct...so it doesnt matter about a list...it matters about ur gut feeling...or ur instinct...we all have it some just dont hear it hence the bad relationship part of it...as for me...my instincts picked a man that is bigger and stronger then me cuz im not too big and strong...im book smart, hes not, hes life smart, im not...we compliment each other and it makes for great offspring! very strong and best of both worlds...plus hes nothing like my male role models! hes manly...dad and big bro....not soo much! also an instinct thing! dunno if it helps or its relevence but theres my 2 cents worth!

 

[smom1976]

just so that I can redirect where this thread is going.. I am already married.. I would like to be one of those people that can speak out and say that my husband is MR wonderful

 

[luvmychicknkids]

Well, that would probably depend on what is making him NOT Mr. Wonderful. Is it because he is mean and treats you bad, doesn't show affection, etc. or is it because your friend has a better looking husband who makes more money? Those are, of course, just examples.

 

[random]

Quote:
what is it that ur expecting from him? where is he "falling short" of what u want? is it a major problem that u could talk to him about or is it a passing thot that sometimes u have when uve been alone for too long...or is that just my own weird trait!

y is he not mr wonderful now but he was before? who is really that wonderful? im not...every1 has faults...is it something u want to compromise on? is it a new ugly feature that has suddenly reared its head or has he always been like this...but most of all...what got u started down this train of thot? hmm i dont even know if i can understand me

...so good luck with what ive written

 

[DouglasPeeps]

Quote:
I have been watching this thread and wondered if that is what you were asking. I don't know what it is you are expecting, so it is hard to answer, but here is something that may help.

I have some friends who regularly complain or say negative things about their husbands. Mostly just nit-picking things or things they wish their husbands would do or wish their husbands were. I have always listened, but never comment when things are said. On more than one occasion I have been asked, "Why don't you ever complain or say things that bug you about your husband?". This is my answer: I love my husband. I know that he is not perfect. Though I think he is perfect for me. I choose to focus on the things that I love about him. I truly think if so much time is spent thinking or looking at what he doesn't do or what I wish he would do, then I would miss all the things that he does do.

BTW, my husband and I celebrate 16 years of marriage this year.

Hope this helps!

 

[thechickenchick]

Quote:
On more than one occasion I have been asked, "Why don't you ever complain or say things that bug you about your husband?". This is my answer: I love my husband. I know that he is not perfect. Though I think he is perfect for me. I choose to focus on the things that I love about him. I truly think if so much time is spent thinking or looking at what he doesn't do or what I wish he would do, then I would miss all the things that he does do.

BTW, my husband and I celebrate 16 years of marriage this year.

Hope this helps!

Very well said! Also congrats on 16 years!

 

[AngieChick]

Oh, there was never a list, but there was that realistic part of me that knows myself well enough to know what kind of relationship would work for me. That would entail some qualitites/values:

Compassion
Willingness to treat a marriage as a partnership
Complete dedication to a marriage
Willingness to compromise
Putting the family first (kids, etc.)


That's really it. My DH is my forever, I adore him. Oh, there have been times when we get on each others' nerves, you can't live with someone for 18 years and not have that. But, that's where dedication comes into play. DH doesn't talk as much as I do (which is probably a good thing), and he forgets pretty much anything that isn't work related, and he has a tendency to get lost in a book. But I've decided that those are endearing qualities. It sure beats getting annoyed. We are well suited to each other and quite happy. Neither one of us expects perfection (it's really very good he doesn't expect it of me

), but he loves that I am a bit random and energetic (perhaps to the point of nutty, but maybe not quite

).

 

[klf73]

Quote:
I have been watching this thread and wondered if that is what you were asking. I don't know what it is you are expecting, so it is hard to answer, but here is something that may help.

I have some friends who regularly complain or say negative things about their husbands. Mostly just nit-picking things or things they wish their husbands would do or wish their husbands were. I have always listened, but never comment when things are said. On more than one occasion I have been asked, "Why don't you ever complain or say things that bug you about your husband?". This is my answer: I love my husband. I know that he is not perfect. Though I think he is perfect for me. I choose to focus on the things that I love about him. I truly think if so much time is spent thinking or looking at what he doesn't do or what I wish he would do, then I would miss all the things that he does do.

BTW, my husband and I celebrate 16 years of marriage this year.

Hope this helps!

 

[random]

sonds to me like u have a match!

 

[orcasislandchickens]

The best partner finding advice I ever got sounds kind of silly. But it was if you're a turtle be a turtle. It sounds stupid at first, but when we date we put on our good faces and it becomes harder to find someone who loves us for who we realy are. When we go about our daily lives being our own selves we have a chance to meet compatable others wandering along the same life path. How can the other tutles find you if you are pretending to be something cooler like a lion.

Married almost forever to grumpy, who so far today has given me a shower fed my pets and is now down buying me take out from my favorite restaraunt to cheer me up. (I hurt my foot).