For all of you with mr wonderfulls..

[smom1976]

This is helpfull.. I just wondered how others delt with qualities that they didnt like.

 

[debilorrah]

The way I deal with the one thing I do not like, is to ignore it and walk away. Ken has a temper, he doesn't yell at me, but throws things. I get out of the room and let him have his fit.

 

[sewchick]

I am not sure of the question either but what I can tell you is what I was looking for. Someone who cares no matter what. Someone who will take care of me as I would take care of him. Someone who did not drink. Someone who was not physically aggressive. That was a big thing for me. I just would not put up with that crap.

What did I get? A man that is smart, talented, skilled, loving, true, a gentleman, a patient man, and a great provider. That being said we do have problems from time to time. Not anything bad just mostly silly stupid stuff. We never call each other names or holler. Well maybe I raise my voice a little sometimes. We "never" go to bed angry. Never. It is a waste of time and energy and how would a person feel if their loved one died and they did not get a chance to make things right. Keep this in mind. Once you call a loved one a name they will never forget it. Even if they say they would...they would not!!

My husband was a bachelor for 48 years. He did for himself. I don't have to wait on him. Or even cook if I don't want to. I do sometimes because I love him not because I have to. He does his own stuff and we work around each other. We have been married 15 years. He's a better cook than I am. Better housekeeper too!!!

Don't let the small things become big things. OH and this works for me I alway ask him to do something. I never tell him to do it. Ok my post is way too long.

 

[farmerlor]

Basically you have to look at whatever it is that you're not happy with and decide if it's a deal breaker or not. If it's something small, leaving the seat up, cleaning up after you while you're trying to bake, or just not helping out you can try communicating your displeasure and see if you can negotiate some middle ground. If it's a big thing like alcoholism, abuse, cheating,.....then you have to decide whether to keep going or not.
Personally, I'm always amazed that my husband puts up with all MY nonsense. So when I weigh the things I may not like about him against the things he has to put up with from me he's got a LOT of things he could add to his list before I'd ever get too terribly unhappy.

 

[spookyevilone]

Growing up, I swore I'd never date anyone with brown eyes, because I wanted my children to have blue or green eyes. My eyes are blue.

That Guy I've Been With For Almost 10 Years? Has dark brown eyes. We'll be doing the baby thing next year. I'm ok with it, because they'll look like him and I love how he looks.

For personality, looks, and intellect.. I got everything I wanted by not looking for it. For the most part, I didn't know how much I wanted it until I already had it.

Besides the brown eyes thing, he refuses to learn to drive a manual transmission car.. but I can live with that too.
-Spooky

 

[The Chicken Lady]

Just a reminder that whatever is posted here can be read by anyone, anywhere, which could include the individuals you are posting about.

Proceed with caution if you choose to use this thread as a place to share things you are unhappy with. You never know if your words will come back to haunt you later.

 

[Quail_Antwerp]

I wasn't looking for Mr. Wonderful, but I got him.

I have small peeves about my husband, but nothing major. He supports me on all my endeavers, he's a HUGE enabler

when it comes to my chickens, that is.

I couldn't tell you what I wanted in a man, I was only 17 and hadn't figured out what I wanted yet. Apparantly God knew what I needed, and that's the man I am married to now.

First and only marraige.

We both work very hard at keeping eachother happy. Notice I said WORK. It's not all strawberries and champagne, roses and chocolate. It's give and take and a lot of compromise!

And so totally worth it!

 

[PurpleChicken]

Quote:
No offense, but from your original post it sounds like you don't get it.

There are many good books on life and marriage. Start there, then
get real help from a counseler or shrink. You are obviously unhappy
and searching for something. Do you not think most of us aren't?

Half the people who posted here, Katy for example, are intellegent and
wise people who have had long lasting relationships. The other half
saying how perfect there mate is, especially as the 2nd or 3rd marriage,
are clueless and fooling themselves. They can live on whatever planet
they want to.

Sorry, just being honest.

I have an intellegent and beautiful wife who gave me the best son a man
can ask for. Even with that, marriage is a serious challenge.

 

[debilorrah]

Quote:
No offense, but from your original post it sounds like you don't get it.

There are many good books on life and marriage. Start there, then
get real help from a counseler or shrink. You are obviously unhappy
and searching for something. Do you not think most of us aren't?

Half the people who posted here, Katy for example, are intellegent and
wise people who have had long lasting relationships. The other half
saying how perfect there mate is, especially as the 2nd or 3rd marriage,
are clueless and fooling themselves. They can live on whatever planet
they want to.

Sorry, just being honest.

I have an intellegent and beautiful wife who gave me the best son a man
can ask for. Even with that, marriage is a serious challenge.

Marriage is a serious challenge, as well as a partnership, and with any partnership there are going to be things that irritate, bug, grind on your nerves and make you crazy. Just remember that. It goes two ways.

 

[smom1976]

Quote:
no just wanting to know what the secret is..