I don't think it's too young, but I would have rules. I was a pretty responsible 16yo and I think my parents had a lot of trust in me. Depending on the kid, I think that with a few rules and an understanding of trust, 16 is not too young.
For all the parents out there....
- Thread starter Emzyyy
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15!!! https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/uploads/10638_smiley-signs053.gif
Is that even legal?
*just teasing you Jenna* ((hugs))
LOL I was Emancipated by the court but I also had parental consent if I had needed it.
15!!! https://www.backyardchickens.com/forum/uploads/10638_smiley-signs053.gif
Is that even legal?
*just teasing you Jenna* ((hugs))
LOL I was Emancipated by the court but I also had parental consent if I had needed it.
There is no one size fits all answer. If my mother 'put her foot down', but didn't bother to have a good reason for it, I quite blithely ignored her. I turned out just fine, especially compared to my sisters, both of whom played her game.
Rules and structure are wonderful things, but to actually work, they must be both A) reasonable, and B) consistent. If they fail on either of those accounts, well, kids are smart, ultimately, they will do their own thing anyway. Try too hard to make them who you want them to be instead of who they are, and you may just end up with a relationship like the one I have with my aunt, where I moved 2000 miles to get away from her, block her emails, stamp all mail 'return to sender', block her phone number, and threaten to call the cops if she sets foot on my property or comes within fifty feet of my kid.
So, is a sixteen year old responsible enough to date?
I have nine cousins between the age of 15 and the age of 17. Starting from youngest to oldest, the answer to your question is:
yes, no, no, yes, yes, yes, no, yes, no.
If you want it separated by gender, than youngest to oldest for the boys is:
no, yes, yes, no
And for the girls:
yes, no, yes, yes, no.
I know a sixteen year old that I would trust with more responsibility than I do her forty year old mother. I also know a five year old I would trust with more responsibility than another sixteen year old of my acquaintance.
I hope that clarifies the issue for you.
Rules and structure are wonderful things, but to actually work, they must be both A) reasonable, and B) consistent. If they fail on either of those accounts, well, kids are smart, ultimately, they will do their own thing anyway. Try too hard to make them who you want them to be instead of who they are, and you may just end up with a relationship like the one I have with my aunt, where I moved 2000 miles to get away from her, block her emails, stamp all mail 'return to sender', block her phone number, and threaten to call the cops if she sets foot on my property or comes within fifty feet of my kid.
So, is a sixteen year old responsible enough to date?
I have nine cousins between the age of 15 and the age of 17. Starting from youngest to oldest, the answer to your question is:
yes, no, no, yes, yes, yes, no, yes, no.
If you want it separated by gender, than youngest to oldest for the boys is:
no, yes, yes, no
And for the girls:
yes, no, yes, yes, no.
I know a sixteen year old that I would trust with more responsibility than I do her forty year old mother. I also know a five year old I would trust with more responsibility than another sixteen year old of my acquaintance.
I hope that clarifies the issue for you.
I had three sons - all three were pretty immature at age 16 - were more into "guy" stuff. Some of their friends were more into girls.
I voted "depends" because it really does depend on the two who are dating, is it a party where a bunch are going, school dance, etc... Or is it a date just the two to a movie, or some other place.
Group dates I'm ok with, "one on one" dates at that age would make me very nervous.
What would make me the most nervous is that I recall being 16
and Thank God he didn't answer some of "those" prayers. No telling who I could have ended up with in life. I wasn't nearly "educated" about life enough to know who was a good life partner and who wasn't. Nor even who was a good date and who wasn't.
With a group date or school function it is so much easier to "get out of a situation" than if it is just the two of you alone in his car or somewhere.
meri
I voted "depends" because it really does depend on the two who are dating, is it a party where a bunch are going, school dance, etc... Or is it a date just the two to a movie, or some other place.
Group dates I'm ok with, "one on one" dates at that age would make me very nervous.
What would make me the most nervous is that I recall being 16
With a group date or school function it is so much easier to "get out of a situation" than if it is just the two of you alone in his car or somewhere.
meri
Emzyyy-- Try to imagine this scenario:
Imagine you have something that is rare, extremely rare like a one-of-a-kind hen, or a rare golden fawn that no one else has in the world. You nuture it, you pet it, and it loves you back. You are so smitten with it that your heart is filled completely, swelling with pride and love in all it does.
Now imagine putting it into a fast car with a teenage boy driving. Imagine the thoughts that cross your mind about what could happen, even if it is not likely, what might happen.
Your day will come, my dear. I'm just imagining being your mom and dad, and thinking about how precious you are to them, and what a tough job parenting really is sometimes.
Letting go, even for just a couple hours, is a very difficult hurdle...
Just hug them, and know they love you.
Imagine you have something that is rare, extremely rare like a one-of-a-kind hen, or a rare golden fawn that no one else has in the world. You nuture it, you pet it, and it loves you back. You are so smitten with it that your heart is filled completely, swelling with pride and love in all it does.
Now imagine putting it into a fast car with a teenage boy driving. Imagine the thoughts that cross your mind about what could happen, even if it is not likely, what might happen.
Your day will come, my dear. I'm just imagining being your mom and dad, and thinking about how precious you are to them, and what a tough job parenting really is sometimes.
Letting go, even for just a couple hours, is a very difficult hurdle...
Just hug them, and know they love you.
My parents told me no dating so I did it behind their backs. My parents were more into control, their religion and micromanaging my life than listening to me or learning about what kind of person I was. When my kids wanted to start dating we had very good communication and I allowed them to date at 16, not a minute before, providing we had very clear rules agreed to by all of us. The biggest thing for me was that I trusted them implicitly and I told them that I would continue to trust them right up to the minute when they gave me cause not to and then their social lives would shrivel up and die horribly.
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Don't you think that's keeping them under your thumb to the extreme?
Don't you think that's keeping them under your thumb to the extreme?
My son was allowed to go out as a group at almost 16 but he knew I checked up on him to keep him honest. That first night when he came home I told him where they were parked in the theatre parking lot
The trouble began after he got his own truck, you cant be everywhere and watch them. He wasnt too bad but didnt listen to us at all. He moved in with his girlfriend the week after graduation in June, learned that life isnt so easy and just moved back last week. I only have sons but I remember being that age, but I think boys get "stupid" when it comes to girlfriends. I think its more obvious if a girl has a good head on her shoulders and is easier to trust.
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I LOVE this... Well written, she'll relate to it, and it nearly brought tears to my eyes.
I LOVE this... Well written, she'll relate to it, and it nearly brought tears to my eyes.
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Don't you think that's keeping them under your thumb to the extreme?
nope. they all have very active social lives, but in my opinion they have no business worrying about girlfriends until they are adults. i mean, if they were to like a girl, i would be all for dropping them off at the movies or maybe to get something to eat, as long as they were with another group, or a sibling tagged along. obviously when they were a bit older i might be more lax in this. if they are simply wanting to enjoy each others company, than they wont have a problem being in a group. if they have ulterior motives, then its my job as a parent to discourage that sort of behavior until they are adult enough to deal with what may or may not come of it. we arent religious freaks or overprotective or anything, we just think firm boundaries are good for our kids.
Don't you think that's keeping them under your thumb to the extreme?
nope. they all have very active social lives, but in my opinion they have no business worrying about girlfriends until they are adults. i mean, if they were to like a girl, i would be all for dropping them off at the movies or maybe to get something to eat, as long as they were with another group, or a sibling tagged along. obviously when they were a bit older i might be more lax in this. if they are simply wanting to enjoy each others company, than they wont have a problem being in a group. if they have ulterior motives, then its my job as a parent to discourage that sort of behavior until they are adult enough to deal with what may or may not come of it. we arent religious freaks or overprotective or anything, we just think firm boundaries are good for our kids.
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