Forgiveness

[artsy1]

Thanks so much everyone, you all are right..................

 

[chickened]

You are right in forgiving and it is reassuring to hear there are people in this world that still understand the value of forgiveness. I was beat up verbally pretty bad for even suggesting it recently.

 

[Royd]

I think very few people have the ability to truly say, "Aw shucks, it's nothing, forget about it.", and then, truly forget about it.

From my experience, nearly every experience of this type, has to be run through the gristmill of the mind and be ground up, sorted out, and hopefully, eventually, tossed to the wind. I do believe its a natural process, much like grieving over the loss of a loved one or a broken relationship, which you didn't see coming.

Sometimes, almost like a miracle, we find some tool to help us along, in the process.

After a broken engagement, and a couple of years of chewing on it, I came across an old Willie Nelson song, called The Healing Hands of Time....About 1 1/2 minutes long. That, a hot bath and a little red wine and things just started to change in my mind.

 

[Henny peeny]

I am with you as for the the inheratance I WOULD NOT FORGIVE this was your livelyhood. I would not sit in the same room or talk or have anything to do wioth her UNLESS she was able to give all of it back then I maybe in a few years. I have a friend she is now and when I firstr moved to NC she was jealous I was leaving and she was staying she doesn't have it so good long story anyhow I was on SSI and she called to tell them I was working.

I would sit at a friend's shop and watch TV them, I didn't have anything else to do and I was a help sometimes the TVs didn't work right and I told the person working what was wrong with it anyhow this could of had my benefits cacelled. I was mad and she send just awful letters but this wasn't making me any worse I fouind it funny don't know why but I was not agro with her.

6 years we didn't speak and I made to first move I wrote to her and was polite BUT it took 8 years to find forgiveness but since this has happened I can not trust her 100 percent now. Here is one for you I forgave but that one percent of bertraying me I can't rid of, now why is that? well it could be I trusted her more then my own sister and it was so deep the hurt I reckon I still think she could do it again she told me before this all happened she would never do anything to jepodize the benefits but she did so I reckon in the back of my mind there is a slim chance it could happen again.

What I am getting at here is you may one day beable to forgive but no matter how much you want to 100 percent you are always gonna have one percent of doubt and there is nothing to take this doubt away it will be with you for the rest of your life, well I reckon for me this is true. As bad as I was to I can't.

I have a saying

God may forgive you but I can't. This is because of the one percent.

Rhayden

 

[aoxa]

Remember, forgiveness is not for them, it is for you. What good is it doing for you to stay angry?

I've had some very unpleasant things happen to me as a child. I have let it go, I have forgiven, but that doesn't mean I have to be BFF's with the person that caused me the pain. I'd rather not be around said person. It's uncomfortable.

You don't have to tell her you forgive her. You just have to let it go.

 

[CupOJoe42]

Bitterness, resentment, and unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. It does nothing to them, but those feelings eat away at you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you condone what the other person did. It doesn't mean that you will forget what the other person did and go back to everything being hunky dory. It means that you have let go of the feeling, and let God take care of the rest. Sometimes we have to keep forgiving, repeatedly.

One of the hardest things I've ever had to do, was to forgive my sister for taking all my mom's valuables and changing the locks on her house to keep me out when she died. It wasn't really the valuables that were important. It was the fact that she caused me so much stress during that time period that I lost the baby I had been carrying for 6 months. The baby was normal, but the stress caused her heart to stop and I had to have emergency surgery to remove her the day before Thanksgiving. No one on that side of the family every expressed condolences for my loss (to this day.) It took me over 5 years to speak to my family again, and to write a letter asking my sister to forgive me. I was set free emotionally that day. I figure, if she needed all my mother's things that bad, she had bigger problems than I did. Is our relationship the same as it was before? - no, but we're civil to each other, and don't talk about the past. By the way, my sister's house was robbed years later. Obviously, someone else needed those things more. I was never able to have any more children, and had a total hysterectomy about 3 months ago. I am trusting God to make things right. He has forgiven me of my sins.

I pray for you to seek the Lord's heart in your situation. Don't let your life be poisoned by unforgiveness. God has all things under control.

 

[Animalian]

The best definition of forgivness I have heard is that
"Forgiveness is giving up the hope, that the past could have been any different."

If I really have trouble letting go, because I have felt really 'wronged' as you have, Romans 12 19-20 has helped me....

Forgiving will give you peace so try to forgive with all your might. But never, ever forget. Because if you forget you will not learn from the experience, which could lead you to ending up in a similar situation and striving to forgive all over again.

Try to be proud of your husbands ability to forgive rather than letting it annoy you.

You say this is a living hell, God won't put you through anything you can't handle! You'll get to the other side alright

 

[aoxa]

Quote:
This is the best quote I've ever read! It is so true. Thank you for that

 

[darkmatter]

I disagree, forgiving a family member that has stolen/lied and engaged in questionable behavior and allowing "back into the fold" so to speak only sets you up to be victimized again and again. Yes, we did the forgive and forget,give them another chance, give them a hand up, not a hand out--------sorry, it doesn't work.

 

[un-named]

Being unable to forgive is holding too much anger... like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
Forgiveness is often just too hard.