So, I have spoken up about this girl on the forum before. It's been a while, but we semi-recently had a huge falling out and honestly I could care less if I ever talk to her again. She's rude, negative, never has anything good to say. Ever. And she's really good friends with DH. He knows how I feel about her, and for some reason I am always the unreasonable one, unwilling to give her another chance.
Well, I think I've finally had a breakthrough in DH's head. FINALLY, I think he understands why I feel the way I do about this girl, and why I believe that her actions are not okay.
I will give a little background, and try to be as family friendly as I can with my feelings for her still boiling in my blood today... So it happened almost two years ago, yes I know, that's a long time. DH was long distance BF, and I had become good friends with his "bestie" back home while he was away for the Navy. One night she and her lady friend may or may not have gotten a bit tipsy out at the wine walk (the story changes of how/why) and someone decided it would be an excellent idea for these two to send a few inappropriate photo's DH's way.. The next morning, "bestie" calls DH/BF and says, "OMG, I'm so embarrassed don't ever tell Stacey, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"
Well two months later, I drive my little car alllllll the way across the country to New York, to move in with DH/BF. The whole while "bestie" over there saying what an awful idea it is, you have no idea what's going to happen, what if she does this, or what if she does that. Why would you ever want to move in with her? Seriously. She said these things to him, and gave me one heck of a time up until I pulled my little car out of the drive way in Nevada. Thank you ever so much for supporting any of my life decisions to get on up and go explore the country with someone I love and hope to be with for the rest of my days.
So, about two weeks, I've been in NY and DH/BF tells me about the pic's. Obviously I am a little upset. He tells me his side of the story, say's sorry that it happened, and I'm sorry that I kept this from you for x-amount of time. I tell him I want to call "bestie" too, and tell her that he told me, how deeply hurt I am by the action, how even more hurt I am that they have kept this a secret for so long, and that is no way to have a friendship or relationship with anybody. Keeping secrets is never the best policy, and even though she have been embarrassed about it or whatever, I can understand that, I too have done my fair share of super lame, crappy, embarrassing things, but I always own up to mistakes.
He tell's me it's probably not the best idea to call her, which I am upset about. She hurt me. And I would like to talk to her about this. So I didn't. I stopped answering her calls and texts for a couple months till DH/BF finally found something we could all joke about, things are semi back to normal, but this thing is still in the back of mind. Well we went home for Christmas last year, and I told DH that I finally had to say something. I can't sit there and look her in the eye without letting her know how deeply hurt I am, and that she thinks she can just do whatever she wants because "no one will ever know"
I tell her, and immediately she looks at DH and says this is all his fault. If he hadn't gone and opened his big fat mouth "this never would happened". No, it happened. And I'm asking for an apology. He told me his side of the story, and told me he was sorry. Told me he was sorry for keeping secrets. And she goes off and says this whole thing was his idea, and he apparently asked for the pics and went on to say how none of this was her fault and basically laughed in my face for an apology. We left soon after, and I only saw her once or twice more after that because that's just lame. And I also had a bunch of family drama to attend to...
So a couple months ago, I was in hospital. DH was driving and he suggested we call "bestie" and see what she thinks (I already knew what was wrong and why I was having pains, but DH wanted to go "just to make sure" everything was okay. She didn't answer so he told me to leave a message saying I was dying and she needed to call us back ASAP. Five hours later I get a text asking how I was, I explained my ER trip and what the doctors said and yada, yada, yada. (Under normal circumstances, the majority of my friends/family, including this girl, would think the scenario we made up was quite humorous and just be happy that I'm okay) I immediately get some nasty response from her saying how awful of a person I am to do such a thing, and the next time you call me I'm not going to believe you, and you know what better yet just don't call. So I asked her if it would be better had I waited 8 months to tell her what had happened (referencing the pic's) and she went off telling me that was how long ago, and how dare I still be so upset about it and it never even happened it the first place, and even if it had it would have been DH's fault. And ended on the positive note of telling me I was psychotic. Nice.
Well DH and I were driving around yesterday, and she was texting him. He asked me about those dumb pics and why am still so upset. I'm not upset about the stupid pictures. I'm upset that she laughed in my face when I asked for an apology, and put the blame off on everyone else. And so he tells me I'm being unreasonable, and whatever, so I change subject. When he went to bed last night, I read his text because now I'm just curious about what they were talking about and why he would bring this up. She is wanting to send him a Christmas present, which I have no problem with. But she is asking him to supply another address to send the box to. That I have problem with. What on earth would she be sending to him, that his wife cannot see? So of course, I fly off the handle, and I'm furious, but I'm not going to wake him up just to yell and scream because that lame. I called a friend, she talked me down, and told me to come up with some creative way to bring it up.
Well this morning he had to be into work suuuuuuper early, so I just stayed up and made him sunny side eggs, covered in cheese and some home made cinnamon rolls at 3:00 o'clock in the morning. I try to bring up what we had talked about yesterday in the car, and he just tells me that I'm being unreasonable and why can't I just forget about the whole thing and it's not a big deal. I keep trying to tell him that it's not about the stupid pictures anymore. It never was. It's the fact that she thinks she can go around in secrecy and do whatever the heck she wants and just put the blame on other people. He gets upset and runs into the bathroom and tells me I'm being a moody bee, and just need to forget about it.
Uggghhhhhh, he comes out and I run down the stairs and grab the smokes and just go sit down on the front porch and sit there. He comes out, asks for a smoke, I was tempted to tell him to go to gas station, but I didn't. I held my tongue. We're sitting there, just stewing for about five minutes, when he mumbles out of the side of his mouth, sorry. And I ask him if he can't see where I'm coming from? Somehow I worded something just slightly different, and suddenly it all clicks in his mind. Why I have been so freaking angry with this girl for the last two years, I told him to tell her if she wants to send a stinking box, just send it to the house, and he finally understands. Secrets don't make friends. I didn't want to tell him I snooped on his text but I think he understood, and he understands with the dumb present thing. So maybe one of these he will tell her what the big freaking problem is, and she may actually listen to him because he's not the psychotic one. And he understands why I am angry that she would be trying to send something to different address, unless it's more pics and yesterday's fundies, there is no reason to continue on with this.
Sorry for the super looooooooooong post but I figured it might be less confusing to start over, now I know and I can see that this girl is poison, but now that my point has FINALLY been made, I'm hoping people will stop looking at me like I'm a flipping loon. DH is very smart, very very smart, but he lacks in the common sense department and I would hope he finally understands me a little better now.
Since my last post of us not doing too hot we've been a lot better up until this morning. We're learning how to talk
Well, I think I've finally had a breakthrough in DH's head. FINALLY, I think he understands why I feel the way I do about this girl, and why I believe that her actions are not okay.
I will give a little background, and try to be as family friendly as I can with my feelings for her still boiling in my blood today... So it happened almost two years ago, yes I know, that's a long time. DH was long distance BF, and I had become good friends with his "bestie" back home while he was away for the Navy. One night she and her lady friend may or may not have gotten a bit tipsy out at the wine walk (the story changes of how/why) and someone decided it would be an excellent idea for these two to send a few inappropriate photo's DH's way.. The next morning, "bestie" calls DH/BF and says, "OMG, I'm so embarrassed don't ever tell Stacey, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah"
Well two months later, I drive my little car alllllll the way across the country to New York, to move in with DH/BF. The whole while "bestie" over there saying what an awful idea it is, you have no idea what's going to happen, what if she does this, or what if she does that. Why would you ever want to move in with her? Seriously. She said these things to him, and gave me one heck of a time up until I pulled my little car out of the drive way in Nevada. Thank you ever so much for supporting any of my life decisions to get on up and go explore the country with someone I love and hope to be with for the rest of my days.
So, about two weeks, I've been in NY and DH/BF tells me about the pic's. Obviously I am a little upset. He tells me his side of the story, say's sorry that it happened, and I'm sorry that I kept this from you for x-amount of time. I tell him I want to call "bestie" too, and tell her that he told me, how deeply hurt I am by the action, how even more hurt I am that they have kept this a secret for so long, and that is no way to have a friendship or relationship with anybody. Keeping secrets is never the best policy, and even though she have been embarrassed about it or whatever, I can understand that, I too have done my fair share of super lame, crappy, embarrassing things, but I always own up to mistakes.
He tell's me it's probably not the best idea to call her, which I am upset about. She hurt me. And I would like to talk to her about this. So I didn't. I stopped answering her calls and texts for a couple months till DH/BF finally found something we could all joke about, things are semi back to normal, but this thing is still in the back of mind. Well we went home for Christmas last year, and I told DH that I finally had to say something. I can't sit there and look her in the eye without letting her know how deeply hurt I am, and that she thinks she can just do whatever she wants because "no one will ever know"
I tell her, and immediately she looks at DH and says this is all his fault. If he hadn't gone and opened his big fat mouth "this never would happened". No, it happened. And I'm asking for an apology. He told me his side of the story, and told me he was sorry. Told me he was sorry for keeping secrets. And she goes off and says this whole thing was his idea, and he apparently asked for the pics and went on to say how none of this was her fault and basically laughed in my face for an apology. We left soon after, and I only saw her once or twice more after that because that's just lame. And I also had a bunch of family drama to attend to...
So a couple months ago, I was in hospital. DH was driving and he suggested we call "bestie" and see what she thinks (I already knew what was wrong and why I was having pains, but DH wanted to go "just to make sure" everything was okay. She didn't answer so he told me to leave a message saying I was dying and she needed to call us back ASAP. Five hours later I get a text asking how I was, I explained my ER trip and what the doctors said and yada, yada, yada. (Under normal circumstances, the majority of my friends/family, including this girl, would think the scenario we made up was quite humorous and just be happy that I'm okay) I immediately get some nasty response from her saying how awful of a person I am to do such a thing, and the next time you call me I'm not going to believe you, and you know what better yet just don't call. So I asked her if it would be better had I waited 8 months to tell her what had happened (referencing the pic's) and she went off telling me that was how long ago, and how dare I still be so upset about it and it never even happened it the first place, and even if it had it would have been DH's fault. And ended on the positive note of telling me I was psychotic. Nice.
Well DH and I were driving around yesterday, and she was texting him. He asked me about those dumb pics and why am still so upset. I'm not upset about the stupid pictures. I'm upset that she laughed in my face when I asked for an apology, and put the blame off on everyone else. And so he tells me I'm being unreasonable, and whatever, so I change subject. When he went to bed last night, I read his text because now I'm just curious about what they were talking about and why he would bring this up. She is wanting to send him a Christmas present, which I have no problem with. But she is asking him to supply another address to send the box to. That I have problem with. What on earth would she be sending to him, that his wife cannot see? So of course, I fly off the handle, and I'm furious, but I'm not going to wake him up just to yell and scream because that lame. I called a friend, she talked me down, and told me to come up with some creative way to bring it up.
Well this morning he had to be into work suuuuuuper early, so I just stayed up and made him sunny side eggs, covered in cheese and some home made cinnamon rolls at 3:00 o'clock in the morning. I try to bring up what we had talked about yesterday in the car, and he just tells me that I'm being unreasonable and why can't I just forget about the whole thing and it's not a big deal. I keep trying to tell him that it's not about the stupid pictures anymore. It never was. It's the fact that she thinks she can go around in secrecy and do whatever the heck she wants and just put the blame on other people. He gets upset and runs into the bathroom and tells me I'm being a moody bee, and just need to forget about it.
Uggghhhhhh, he comes out and I run down the stairs and grab the smokes and just go sit down on the front porch and sit there. He comes out, asks for a smoke, I was tempted to tell him to go to gas station, but I didn't. I held my tongue. We're sitting there, just stewing for about five minutes, when he mumbles out of the side of his mouth, sorry. And I ask him if he can't see where I'm coming from? Somehow I worded something just slightly different, and suddenly it all clicks in his mind. Why I have been so freaking angry with this girl for the last two years, I told him to tell her if she wants to send a stinking box, just send it to the house, and he finally understands. Secrets don't make friends. I didn't want to tell him I snooped on his text but I think he understood, and he understands with the dumb present thing. So maybe one of these he will tell her what the big freaking problem is, and she may actually listen to him because he's not the psychotic one. And he understands why I am angry that she would be trying to send something to different address, unless it's more pics and yesterday's fundies, there is no reason to continue on with this.
Sorry for the super looooooooooong post but I figured it might be less confusing to start over, now I know and I can see that this girl is poison, but now that my point has FINALLY been made, I'm hoping people will stop looking at me like I'm a flipping loon. DH is very smart, very very smart, but he lacks in the common sense department and I would hope he finally understands me a little better now.
Since my last post of us not doing too hot we've been a lot better up until this morning. We're learning how to talk
