Friends? Does anyone have TRUE ones? Venting!
- Thread starter chickensioux
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You also need to consider that to some extent friendship is based upon having (some) common interests. And with many people spending time with their friends is important; if time is not spent, they consider the relationship to be going downhill.
It actually sounds to me like either the amount of time you have recently invested in your friendship has made her feel second rate, or she feels like you are no longer the person she became friends with. Also, it sounds as much like you are feeling that what is rght for you should be right for her. As featherbaby said, agreeing to disagree is (or should be) an expectation in any relationship. We are all different, and that is why each person is unique and valuable.
This is not an issue of trust or "being there" for you (unless she in some way stabbed you in the back, figuratively speaking). Simply not caring for (or even disliking) your birds should not really affect your friendship--just realize that your common interests are elsewhere, and focus on those when you are with her.
You also need to consider that to some extent friendship is based upon having (some) common interests. And with many people spending time with their friends is important; if time is not spent, they consider the relationship to be going downhill.
It actually sounds to me like either the amount of time you have recently invested in your friendship has made her feel second rate, or she feels like you are no longer the person she became friends with. Also, it sounds as much like you are feeling that what is rght for you should be right for her. As featherbaby said, agreeing to disagree is (or should be) an expectation in any relationship. We are all different, and that is why each person is unique and valuable.
This is not an issue of trust or "being there" for you (unless she in some way stabbed you in the back, figuratively speaking). Simply not caring for (or even disliking) your birds should not really affect your friendship--just realize that your common interests are elsewhere, and focus on those when you are with her.
Quote:
Friendship has little to do with having something in common with someone...that just helps begin a relationship. True friendship is caring about the person and enjoying who they are.
Friendship has little to do with having something in common with someone...that just helps begin a relationship. True friendship is caring about the person and enjoying who they are.
the Old Rebel
Rest in Peace -2011
I don't know what to say. I've just read through this entire thread. I guess I'll start by saying that I am friends with Chickensioux. I live (when I am privilieged enough to be there) right up the road from her. I can honestly tell everyone that Chickensioux's animals live in the Ritz and are cared for as if each one is some kind of irreplaceable star. Her place puts my place to shame. It is a showcase of beauty and PEACE and we ALL know how HARD it is to keep a place looking BEAUTIFUL when you have birds that like to EAT or dig up EVERYTHING!!!
I know of the woman in question and the problem is not one of jealousy over time spent. When you are with Chickensioux, she makes you feel like the most important person on the face of the earth. The situation was one of outright betrayal in a very important circumstance. I believe it led to Chickensioux questioning the very foundation of the relationship. I am GLAD that she is processing the hurt and is ready to move on.
In my opinion, a REAL friend will stick by you no matter what. If she thinks you have too many animals, she might voice that once and LISTEN to your response. But if the animals are OBVIOUSLY loved and well cared for, then she ought to support you in your passion because she cares about YOU, even if it isn't her "cup of tea". I believe in loving someone unconditonally. I have people in my life that love things I don't love, but that doesn't make me withdraw from or stop loving THEM.
Chickensioux's "friend" didn't just say hurtful things to Chickensiox. She said hurtful things ABOUT Chickensioux to some other important people in Chickensioux's life. Is there any way that can be called Friendship???
As I told Chickensioux on the phone, most of the world's great philosphers have said that, if, in this Life, you manage to find one TRUE friend, you are blessed beyond measure and you have found a rare jewel indeed. I am exceedingly blessed in that I have found that rare jewel of friendship in Chickensioux.
And, though I am not privileged to get on BYC much anymore, there are a lot of pretty terrific people on here who love and support one another through all kinds of things even though we live miles and miles apart from one another. Thank GOD for BYC!!!
I hope you all have a GREAT DAY!!!
I know of the woman in question and the problem is not one of jealousy over time spent. When you are with Chickensioux, she makes you feel like the most important person on the face of the earth. The situation was one of outright betrayal in a very important circumstance. I believe it led to Chickensioux questioning the very foundation of the relationship. I am GLAD that she is processing the hurt and is ready to move on.
In my opinion, a REAL friend will stick by you no matter what. If she thinks you have too many animals, she might voice that once and LISTEN to your response. But if the animals are OBVIOUSLY loved and well cared for, then she ought to support you in your passion because she cares about YOU, even if it isn't her "cup of tea". I believe in loving someone unconditonally. I have people in my life that love things I don't love, but that doesn't make me withdraw from or stop loving THEM.
Chickensioux's "friend" didn't just say hurtful things to Chickensiox. She said hurtful things ABOUT Chickensioux to some other important people in Chickensioux's life. Is there any way that can be called Friendship???
As I told Chickensioux on the phone, most of the world's great philosphers have said that, if, in this Life, you manage to find one TRUE friend, you are blessed beyond measure and you have found a rare jewel indeed. I am exceedingly blessed in that I have found that rare jewel of friendship in Chickensioux.
And, though I am not privileged to get on BYC much anymore, there are a lot of pretty terrific people on here who love and support one another through all kinds of things even though we live miles and miles apart from one another. Thank GOD for BYC!!!
I hope you all have a GREAT DAY!!!
I've never had an easy time of making friends. When I met my boyfriend four years ago my life changed from one of solitute to a slightly social life. Aside from my boyfriend this year I made my first best friend... and convinced her to get chickens.
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- #58
Wow, thanks The Old Rebel! I can honestly say the exact same thing about you! She and I met and became hard, fast friends not only because we have poultry and other animals in common but because she is an honest, real, genuine, caring person with a heart of pure gold. I got her number off of a bathroom wall......no wait a minute....it was from our local feed store, when I was looking for guineas. I called her to see if she had any available and it was like talking to someone I had known my whole life. There was an instant click. SHE is a TRUE friend and I am blessed to have her too.
- Jan 12, 2010
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See! What do you need that other thing for?
<-- thing
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