friendship advice...help needed....

[Dar]

here goes...

a friend of mine ...have known her for about 8 yrs.. she bends over backwards to help me when i need a hand and i do the same for her.

babysitting
lending of vehicles
references for work
she signed my passport...
shoulder to cry on
you get the point

well about a week ago she called and asked if i know where she could borrow $500
she is short for her rent

we have an agreement we never borrow money cause it ruins friendships

she is always spending her money foolishly she spend $150 on a tattoo when she was already short for rent that kind of thing.

I have the money to loan her but i can afford not to get it back, if i dont get it back it could mean me canceling my vacation in january... what would you do?

 

[Katy]

Quote:
There it is....some life lessons are hard to learn.

 

[texasgal]

Yeah, I agree.

"I love you, but I can't enable you to spend foolishly"

hard lesson.

 

[vnploveschickens]

I would not lend money to a friend. From personal experience, it puts a real strain on the relationship, whether it gets paid back or not.

If you decide to, put it in writing, signed by both parties. Make reasonable payment terms with a definate due date. Make it like a business loan. At least if something goes wrong, you'll have proof to take to small claims court.

Good luck.

 

[Hoosiermomma]

I agree with previous posts. I wouldn't lend the money either. Your friend needs to get her priorities straightened out when it comes to where her money goes.

 

[Rillion]

Rent is an important thing. I would loan it to her, but make some kind of arrangement that would make it really difficult for her to not pay it off quickly. Charge interest. Make it clear to her that you can't go long without it being paid back. Let her know that the friendship is at stake if she doesn't do so. If she cares about you at all, she'll listen and pay you back promptly. If she doesn't, she wasn't that good of a friend in the first place.

 

[Omran]

I am not trying to be mean, but I would say I am really sorry, things are tough with everyone at the present time, I know she will understand.

 

[Whirlwind]

I never loan money with the expectation of getting it back. Loan it only if you can afford not to be repaid. Friendship is worth more than money. If it will make hard feelings if she does not pay you back I would not loan it to her.

 

[faykokoWV]

Quote:
I agree.

Also, it seems that the fastest way to loose a friend it so lend them money. Maybe say something to her like "" I used to come up short on stuff until I started budgeting. It really helped me. Even though I can't lend you the money, I'd be glad to sit down with you and show you how to create a budget so you can get caught up on things."

 

[Dar]

Quote:
thats what i told her last week but she knows we are planning a big vacation in januray, but she still asked again tonight