friendship advice...help needed....

[Katy]

Quote:
thats what i told her last week but she knows we are planning a big vacation in januray, but she still asked again tonight

So she's willing to have you not be able to go on a vacation you want and have planned because she didn't have enough self control not to spend her rent money on a tatoo? Sorry, but that doesn't sound like a friend you need. And the fact that she's got a husband from whom she's trying to hide the mess she's made should be a huge red flag. I wouldn't give up my vacation for her.

 

[Chicky Tocks]

Quote:
Ditto this. Don't lead her on, just tell her that it's not your money to loan. There is another involved, and what you both have, you've scraped for. She needs to fess up to her DH. I have never or would I ever ask a friend to borrow money. I'd do a table dance first!

 

[Eggs4Sale]

Everybody is right. About everything.

If it's a no-win situation, which it is, then you may as well not forfeit your hard-earned vacation.

Your friend has not grown up yet. And she doesn't sound honest.
I'd run like heck.



By the way, everyone else can get payday loans and short term loans. You're the only person in the world left to sucker?

 

[thewarriorchild]

I am not even going to read the rest of the replies

DO NOT LEND MONEY

GIVE A GIFT YOU NEVER EXPECT TO SEE AGAIN

DO NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT LEND A FRIEND OR ANYONE MONEY

EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She sounds like she doesnt deserve the loan if she is careless with money

 

[EweSheep]

I agree with the others.....................NO!

With the TV court shows, you would see so many friendships broken because one could not repay the plantiffs any money they owed.

She will find a way to pay herself out of debt like garage sale and so forth. She might get mad at you but you deserved to go on vacation which you and your family saved. Do not let the guilt trip from her bother you. I know its hard but friendships mean more to me.

 

[debilorrah]

My rule is that if I cannot afford to GIVE it, I won't loan it either.

 

[WriterofWords]

She is asking you if you know anyone because she already knows you have the money. Her husband makes good money if he is an OTR driver, and they also have her income. She either tells him whats up and he gets an advance, or they go to family but you stay out of it.
You already have an agreement in place about not loaning each other money, stick to it, and if that causes a rift in the friendship then it was not that solid to begin with.

 

[TipsyDog]

I've been a landlady for over 15 years and I've heard it all! Do NOT loan her the money.

Do these people not grasp that on the 1st of every month the rent is due? Come the 29th, they start thinking about rent money. Spent everything at the county fair 2 days before the 1st and then give me every excuse under the sun.

It is ALWAYS the same people who do this. They will NEVER learn no matter how you try to help or explain things to them. It is an endless pit of dispair.

On the plus side - there are just as many people who are responsible and ALWAYS pay their bills without involving other people in their problems. We all have problems, but a sign of maturity is keeping them to yourself and still meeting your obligations.

People who don't pay their bills and then try and drag you into their problems are trouble. There is alot of truth to the old saying "misery loves company".

 

[Crusty McPottydoodle]

Quote:
You said it yourself. You have an agreement and I think that is all you need to say to her.

It's a tough position to be in, but in order to help her in the ways that you already do, you need to look out for yourself and your family first.

 

[ZepChick]

wow, what a difficult situation. I agree with Redhen, follow your instinct. Normally I would say never lend to a friend, but it sounds like she is a very close friend if you trust her with your children, vehicles, etc. If you do, I would make sure and be very up front with her, tell her that it makes you so nervous to do this, and that you are worried for your friendship. Good luck, hopefully she will come up with the $$$ on her own.