Funny fart stories: you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gag!!

[maplesky7]

dad always blamed his on my mother.

or he'd say...did you see that elephant run underneath my chair?

or...mom's playin trumpets again.

 

[maplesky7]

oh and my 7 year old...she goes around and sniffs all the dogs backsides, her sisters backside...until she finds the culprit.

 

[FrenchHen]

did you just hear that barking spider?

 

[maplesky7]

....ha ha...yeah that one too!

 

[JennsPeeps]

DBF blames the barking spiders.

A cousin of mine was at the grocery store one day and released a beast in front of the meat counter. She thought nothing of it.

A woman walked up to the counter, took one whiff, and immediately informed the butcher that there was rotten meat somewhere in the case. he brought out his big rack tower and started unloading the case so he could find the culprit.

In the meantime, my cousin's husband walked up, took a whiff, recognized the "brand", heard the woman exclaming over the bad meat, saw the butcher pulling out all the "rotten" meat, looked at his guilty wife, rolled his eyes, and walked off.

 

[Linda in San Diego]

I teach 6th grade and just a week a go, one of my female students came to complain about the antics of her table partner. I told her that boys just matured later than girls, but eventually they would catch up, but it takes a while. She nodded her head and started back to her seat.
Then I asked her, "Does your dad or grandad ever tell you to pull his finger?" She got a puzzled look on her face and said, "Yes." Now I had the interest of students seated close enough to hear the conversation.
I then said, "See, it takes some males longer than others to mature."
This is why my students tell me I am so funny. This quirky sense of humor! LOL - mixed with truth!

 

[al6517]

This is going to be a long a funny thread.

 

[turney31]

When I was 18, a group of about 10 friends and I Went to the movie. The theatre was full and as I stopped at the concession stand, it made me the last one in our group to be seated. I knew they would save me a seat . The usher, with his flashlight in hand, was helping me to find my group. of course they were in the middle of the theatre, in the middle of the row. When I saw them I said "there they are" To which my cousin replied to my horror"I don't want to sit by her, she farts real bad" The whole theatre busted up laughing!!!

 

[grundail01]

My uncle who is a notorious prankster in my family loves to get in a crowd or people and let loose a SBD( silent but deadly). Then act like he's sniffing and say "I smell popcorn!" ..... Of course almost everyone starts trying to smell the fresh popcorn ... needless to say there is no popcorn. lol

 

[English Chick]

ROFL....can't type!