Funny fart stories: you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gag!!

[chickenbottom]

ok here is my dreadful story lol

ok well it was a few years ago i was about 13 or 14 when i use to take karate well one day we were just fooling around like normal teenagers about 9 of us and the teacher and we were just seeming how limber or flexible we are well fist the teacher did a split and me as a big shot said thats nothing look at this so all eyes were on me.... then i put one leg behind my head and everyone started clapping then i so boldly said im not finished lol i grabbed the other leg and right as my other leg went behind my head i let out a MONSTER AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH it was so embarrissing i was struck with laughter and tears i guess thats what i et for being so bold. luckily it didnt pass around to anywhere other than that karate school lol.

 

[Lunachick]

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Just go to a nightly yoga class.....very hard not to laugh!

 

[texaschickmama]

OMGosh, this.....................is........................too........................much.........................I'm.................going...........................to..........................pee............................my......................pants...............................

Okay, gains composure, lately, I don't have much gas, because of this diet that I'm on, but I used to. The worst were when I was pregnant. In the middle of the night I would roll over, and I don't know what would happen, I guess all the gas shifted or something and KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM, it would blow my husband out of bed. Of course, then I would try not to giggle, but it would soon burst out and take me another 45 minutes to go back to sleep. My husband didn't know why it was so funny, OMGosh, that made it sooooooooooooooooo much funnier.

 

[Opa]

I have a friend who is know far and wide for his silent but deadly, take paint off the wall kind of emissions. He thinks it hilarious to slip one out just as he is exiting a crowded elevator.

 

[PineBurrowPeeps]

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*DIES*

The thing that gets me is that us people are so worried about it, but animals let rip like there is nothing wrong at all!
My lab will fart and then turn and look at his rear like "WTH was that?!"
My cat has woke himself up! and my other dog has made himself jump about a foot!

I used to work at a barn where there was a horse that would get nervous fart and poo when there was new people
around. I spent the first month working there avioding him like the plague because all he had to do was see me and instantly
you'd hear PLOP PLOP PLOP or HUGE farts... Poor guy! I bet all the other horses laughed at him!

 

[key west chick]

After reading everyone elses, mine seems a little lame but here goes anyway! DH and DS are notorious farters. One night, I'm on the sofa with DS. I let one rip, (SPD) under the blanket, thinking DS wouldn't notice. In walks DH and the dog. DH site next to me and OMG, whats that smell!! Luckly for me, the poor dog was underneath him and I blammed it on her. DS and DH got up and left, with the dog. It was several minutes before the smell cleared the air. I also have a habit of having gas in the grocery store. Doesn't matter if I've done my thing right before I walk in the door, I always have to fart. Good places to release your emmisions, the dog food isle, sticks bad anyway, and the laundry isle, smells good and covers it up!

 

[Opa]

Anyone remember the scene with the great dane in the movie "Ten"?

 

[mmtillman]

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OH MY GOSH !! My daddy used that one on us kids!!! Havent heard that said in years!!!

 

[I have WHAT in my yard?]

OK Guys why are you bringing up all of these preggers memories today??

When I was preggers I had gas. Bad gas. Alot of bad gas. Lots. Really.

So I spent alot of my time at work finding reasons to walk around so that I would not be caught! I told DH I sounded like an old car puttering up and down the halls!! The gas powered administrator!


OK Other one - DHs great aunt comes to visit. DD is following her through the house when -...... Great aunt lets one fly. Right in DDs face! Little person with face at butt level! I held my breath (avoid stink and not laugh and fear of what would come next!) The expression on DDs face OMG! Her eyes just kept getting bigger and bigger! She turned and took several steps back but uttered not one peep!

After great aunt left I gave her a treat for being so kind as to not comment on the gas! She looked at me, all eyes, and said, "Mom, I think she might be dying or something!"

In our house they are called Pumbaas.

 

[Lunachick]

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Now I have to rent it, I don't recall. My goodness Opa you're looking fine this morning!