Funny fart stories: you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gag!!

[conny63malies]

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Sometimes when my kids fart i say "Bless You"

 

[Henrietta23]

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oh my gods we have barking spiders too!

OMG is right! I though my husband came up with that one!!

 

[FrenchHen]

I can't stand it any more...someone send me
Spooky's story.

 

[debilorrah]

I need Spooky's story too! Please please!

 

[Henrietta23]

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Man, I wonder how she answers those, "And how did the two of you meet?" questions!!

 

[FrenchHen]

I want the bean dip recipe...could come in handy for in-law functions...

 

[Henrietta23]

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My FIL thinks he's the king of the silent variety. Problem is he's going deaf. I won't stand near him in public for fear someone will mistake his problem for mine!

 

[FrChuckW]

Many years ago my best friends niece was hurt in a bike accident and broke her leg. His sister was living with them at the time and had set the crib up in the living room for his niece. I was sitting in a chair next to the crib and his sister bent over the railing to take care of the girl and she bleched. His mother was sitting across the room and thought she had farted in my face. After we stopped laughing, his sister explained that she had only burped and just then the baby let one rip.

I get my revenge on the dogs at night. They have a habit of stealing the blankets and wrapping themselves up in them leaving me with just the sheets. A couple of them like to crawl all the way down to the foot of the bed under the cover. Well depending on what I have had for dinner that night, somethings just don't blend to well with my nighttime meds. Well let's just say I can get them to clear the bed and give me a chance to reclaim the blankets!

Growing up we had a Great Dane/German Shepherd dog that was notorious for his SBD's, My mother kept cans of air fresherner on the end table by her chair. All she had to do was lift that can off the table and the dog would take off out of the room like she had lit him up.

 

[maplesky7]

Today, I went over to my mom's house to pick up her dog since mom is taking my oldest sister in for surgery tomorrow.

We are talking and I'm holding her little dog & am about to depart. Mom was gone all day and the dog had yet to be out at that moment. And all of a sudden I pick up this noxious odor...so I make a face and afraid it may be the dog needing to relieve herself, I on instinct hold her bottom up to my nose and sniff to see if it was her.


My mom stops talking and says, "It was probably me. I REALLY have to go!"

I guess so. So she keeps talking as I am walking out the door, through the garage...and she's like, "I have to go so bad, it's just pushing it's way out. Otherwise I'd talk to you longer."...and I'm like, "ok, love you. see you later." and jump in my van and see her slamming the door and scurring down the hall way.

what a nerd. like she really needed to walk me to the door.

me,
g

 

[Missouri chick]

In my family farts are FUNNY. I just found this thread and am only on page 6. I've never laughed so hard I cried. I did for the first time tonight. Oh......oh.........can't........breath........laughing........crying............o...m....g......

can't stop reading.......sis in Missouri called....had to read her a few.....laughing......hubby wants to know I'm going to be ok......