Funny things that your kids say . . . .

[crtrlovr]

My niece (just turned 8) has provided me with some long and hearty laughs. When she was 4, I'd had to get her up early so I could take my husband to the airport. When we got back home, instead of undressing her until time for preschool, I just laid her on the couch. When I woke her at leaving time, she sat up, smiled, and then her expression changed. She let out a bellow that raised the heads of the water buffalo in India. I asked her what was wrong, and she screamed, "My foot!". "What's wrong with your foot?" She said, "It has... SPARKLES in it". (Pretty good description of a foot going to sleep, isn't it, especially from a 4 yr. old?). I rubbed her foot until she stopped howling, and I asked her, "is your foot better?" She said, "yes, the sparkles are gone." When I asked her where they went, she said, "somebody else's foot"...

 

[EllyMae]

One of the frequent "warnings" I give my kids is "If you aren't careful, you are going to break a bone!"(I guess it's the paranoid orthopedic nurse in me!) Soooo, last night while my 6 year old was in the bath tub, I walked in and he was "inspecting" his private part. I said, "Hey, don't do that." his question was "Why? do you think I will break my weenie bone?"
Lord help me...

 

[CarriBrown]

 

[crtrlovr]

Niece story #2: I had been running errands and had Veronica with me. She'd been very good, but had just learned to whistle, and had practicing it faithfully

. I was getting a migraine headache and trying to finish my errands before it became full blown, and I told her, "you need to be quiet now". She said (rather tartly), "no, YOU be quiet!" Thinking she must have thought we were playing a game *because she CERTAINLY knows better than to pull that number*, I said, "I'm not playing, this is for real. It is time for you to stop whistling and be quiet for me". Again, she popped out, "no, YOU BE QUIET!" Well, that was it -- I was FROSTED! I whipped into the nearest parking lot, put the van in park, unbuckled my seat belt so I could turn and look her in the eye, and said, 'WOULD YOU LIKE TO TELL ME WHY YOU WERE DISOBEDIENT AND SMARTED OFF TO ME?" Her reply was, "actually, no...." I had to turn around and cough to stifle a laugh because she was completely serious. Not believing my ears, I asked her, "what did you say?" and she repeated, "actually, no". At that point I mustered the most stern voice I could (very difficult since inside I was laughing my hiney off), I warned her she'd better not ever backtalk me like that again. so far, so good...

 

[conny63malies]

I got a few from my oldest daughter Taylor.

her dad is a army recruiter and had a problem with the AF recruiter trying to steal his Dep's(future soldiers.) He came home one day cussing wildly over this issue. A few days later we went shopping at MacDill AFB, there are lots of soldiers from other nations and so she kept on asking me where/what they are. Finally she pointed at a AF high ranking officer. I told her he is in the Air Force. She(3 back then and maybe 25pounds) marched up to this man, pulled on his uniform and told him"you are a big meanie sir. If you dont stop taking my daddys soldiers i will whoop you!!" and that in the middle of the commisarrr. a other time she announced in clothing sales at he same AFB "That the AF is for pansies that couldnt make in the army" I about died on the spot.
She was featured i the Orlando christmas parade in 2004. The Mc's were Miss USA/Miss Florida and Willard Scott. Miss USA called her a baby and Taylor heard this on TV when we watched it a few days later. Needless to say every 3year old gets furios when you call them a baby. At another pageant we got to meet Miss USA. She asked for a pic with Taylor , Taylor said "No" when MIss USA asked why, Taylor told her "because you called me a baby on TV. And i am 3(1/2).
At a pageant she was asked by a female judge during a interview if she could have a hug. Taylor smiled and said "yes" so another wanted one too. Taylor looked at her raised her eyebrows and said "NNNNoooo" they all busted out laughting. She one because of this the interview part and the beauty title 2-3.
i could go on and on

 

[Chirpy]

I could just about write a book with the funny things our eight kids and many foster kids have said over the years.

This whole thread is just great... it's so good to have a belly laugh like this... thanks everyone ... keep em coming.


A few weeks ago my four your old son looked at my husband and said, "Daddy you're fat!" My husband said, "Honey, that's not nice to say." My son got very solemn and said, "Daddy, I'm sorry your fat."

A couple of months ago I was given three new llamas. We had to go pick them up and took our teenage son with us. Their names are Star, Bandit and Calamity. On the way home he was talking and said, "Star, Bandit and Disaster are just fine back there." It took him a couple of weeks to be able to remember Calamitys name.

 

[hoosierhen]

After her first trip into my chicken coop, my 6 yo granddaughter Morrin announced to her mom: "I have chicken spit on my shoes!" Now when someone goes into the coop, I say: "watch out for the chicken spit!"

 

[luvmychicknkids]

Well, they just keep being adorable, even when they are bigger.

My oldest son is 10. Thanks to my husband, we are related to Lizzie Borden. Now, having familial ties to one of the most notorious female murderers in history grants one serious bragging rights when one is a 10 y/o boy. He had been bragging to his friends and even his teacher about it a few days ago at school and it became part of our conversation at the dinner table that night. All of a sudden he got really serious and said "Mom, can you imagine how frightening it would be to get chopped up by your daughter?". I assured him that while I could not, I assume it would be pretty bad. He then said "Well, if I ever have a daughter I am hiding all the sharp objects." So I act all shocked and say "HONEY, not ALL daughters chop up their parents!!! Your grandmother has a daughter" and raise my hand and wiggle it around ....you know, ME!!! He gets this OMG serious look and says "YEAH, why do you think she keeps all her knives so dull!!!!!!" I just about fell out of my chair!!! I had to immediately call my mom and share that story with her!!!!

 

[ponderchick]

kids are so cute
last summer my dh, my son(then 4 ) and i were in the dollar store. we were waiting to check out when a lady and her husband got in line behind us. they had apperantly been to the lake, the lady had on a bikini top and some pretty short blue jean shorts. my little guy looks at this lady and grins, and burst out singing honky tonk badonkadonk. i was so embarrassed. of course the lady and her husband died laughing. and the dh said thats my boy.....i'll never forget that as long as i live

 

[Kanchii]

Oh god, of course I discover this thread at midnight when the rest of my famil yis asleep, and everyones posts made me laugh SO hard that my mom came down and told me to shut the **** up!